What am I doing wrong

This is kind of embaresing, but here goes. Everytime I've asked a girl out, I've been rejected, I've never gone out with anyone. I try being flirty, I'm fun to be around, nice, whats wrong with me? It makes me really depressed when I get rejected, they say it would be to akward, or something similar. I start feeling very gloomy, becasue I think I'm never going to find the right girl for me. I'm not exactley out going, well I am, but I'm kind of shy and it takes a little bit to be comfortalbe with people and tehn i can tell them anything pretty much, what am I doing wrong, how come everytime I've asked someone out I've been rejected? Any tips or advice from anyone? I'm manily looking for a ladies prospective.

 

Any help? (rerally sorry to bump this but i need responces)

 

Rejection happens to everyone dont let it got you down. It could be just about anything, I dont know you can't say for sure. Maybe its your actions ... I honestly cant say.
Maybe your just going after the wrong type of girls.

 

That could be true, but I'm not going after the super atractive popular girls, I know the last time i got rejected it was because it would be akward, becasue she was a really good friend.

 

What age are you?
What are your interests, do you mix with like minded people....?

 

I'm 13.5 and I make sure that I have the same kinda of interestes with people or else whats the use of the relation ship.

 

Hmm... well, don't be too hard on yourself then. Girls your age may not even feel ready to date. And the ones who do? Well, not all of them are going to want to date you. But sooner or later you'll ask someone out who's both ready to date and willing to date you. So be patient. And if it makes you feel better, at least you're trying! When I was your age, I was too scared to even try to ask a girl out. That's how shy I was.

 

Oh

I didnt realise you were that young....

Dont worry...when I was your age I was very shy...but that all changed as I got older.

 

Pretty much all the girls my age are dating, some of them like me, and are jsut to shy to say yes, or they don't like me becasue of my looks. But thanks guys and no one on forums realises that I'm this young.

 

13 is so young still, dont worry about it. i didnt have a boyfriend til i was 16, and i was havign crushes on boys as far back as grade 1. at 13 girls are still skittish little giggly things. itll change but it takes time, time for everyone to grow up and mature and such
(ps after age 10 you stop saying "and a half" or ".5" for your age)

 

I agree. My 9 year old daughter's birthday is in 6 months, but she says "I am almost 10"

So...instead of 13.5 saying almost 14 makes more sense

 

Maybe you go for an "older woman"

16 or 17 maybe?

 

Haha, I probably should, I'd have better luck. And thats true abouut the almsot 14 thing.

 

Umm, sorry to do this but bump, i need help.

 

I am 17, I am with my first real girlfriend currently, and things are going insanely great

I was very much like yourself, outgoing around some, shy in new environments/with new people
somewhat flirty but too polite to be seriously flirty =P

but basically, most people your age aren't ready to be dating, you yourself probably included
calm down, it's normal and understandable to want to date, but it's certainly not required
and where as starting earlier can give you a bit of practice in the field, it can also just cause a lot of unneeded drama

my girlie, was not the type of girl I was looking for at all, she didn't look like the type of girl I wanted, she didn't act like the type of girl I wanted, she didn't talk like the type of girl I wanted
we started talking on the computer, and then we moved onto the phone, then we were talking everyday on the phone, and then I saw her in person, and somewhere in between all of that something clicked, and the type of girl I wanted became her

relationships work in mysterious wonderful ways and sometimes the best things are the least expected (like how sexual such a shy girl can be =P)
don't force anything, sometimes the worst thing you can do is try too hard

 

Ok, thanks Duck, it's just confusing, I've liked this girl for about a year, and she liked/likes me, I've asked her out 3 times in the year that I've liked her and each time she says no. She's always saying how she can talk to me much more than other people including her best friends, and saying how much she loves me. But for some reason she won't go out with me? She's gone out with other guys before, but I might be stuck in the Just friends Catagory.. Thats happened to me beofre where I'd like someone, but go to ask them out nd it turns out they like'd me before but I waited to long to ask her out.

But I also need help with flirting, I sound much the same as you used to be and I'm always worrying what people will think of me, so I get really shy thinking I'll say the wrong thing and the girl I'm trying to flirt with will be offened. Do you have any tips for me?

Also thanks so much for your fast reply and talking to me like an actual person, I've tried to get advice off other forums and once they found out my age, they treated me like an animal, kind of like I wasn't up to par with regular people.

 

Well when it comes to flirting, just loosen up. If you like, every now and then try to flirt for the sake of flirting rather than for the sake of getting the girl to like you. Flirting is about being playful, so just enjoy playing.

Of course you should be careful not to offend her, but different people respond differently to the same thing. So what offends one girl may not offend another girl (or it may, but it won't be such a big deal for her). So try to observe her reaction without being paranoid about it. If you sense that you've offended her, just apologize and say you hope you haven't offended her.

Have fun!

 

*Edit: sorry for the long post*

I agree with him to a certain degree

just loosen up
I am only comfortable with flirting now that I have a girlfriend, because there is no future involved =P before I used to flirt in ways that were blatantly jokes (super lame/corny/disgusting pick up lines and one liners and such) but only with girls I was not really interested in
I get too worried about the consequence of my actions sometimes, but I'm working on loosening up, you never know how things will turn out, so it's best not to focus on the (highly) uncertain future too much

as far as the trying not to offend them, don't even worry about that so much, typically, if what you have to say offends soemone, they just aren't the right person for you to be around
and lots of times, when people are offended, it's just because they don't understand where you are coming from, you explain that and usually you are fine

don't worry too much about how the person in question reacts, because if the way you think and the way they think is that far off, how good is the relationship actually going to be?


and with this specific girl, it looks like you got the just friends thing goin on
but also, you could have got too close to her, and there are certain things about you that turned her off from a relationship with you
but you could always ask her if it's because of your friendship, and then try to convince her otherwise, but I'd advise you just let it go (though I know personally, I never would :tongue

and yeah, sad but true, in most cases, you can't wait too long to ask them out
if you get too close friend-wise, they get too comfortable with a friendship and lose the desire for a relationship
me and my girlfriend lingered between friends and relationship for 3 months, which is usually way too long, but we didn't go to the same school or see too much of each other, so it worked out

basically, you need to let them think that a relationship is a possiblity, hint at it, flirt with them, NEVER call her your friend, use the phrase 'my friend(s)' in conversation to kinda signify a seperation, if you talk about another girl bring up that you are(or were) just friends
if you make girls think that a relationship is possible, they won't put you in the friend category so readily

 

i dunno dude
i've never asked anyone out exactly
umm ok ive flirted hrre & there sure but thats just kindness & compliments
basicaly..dont try so hard
but also try to be happy just being yourself & if u feekl attractibve & good about yourself youll attract others
just reme,ber 14 yr old girls feel just as akward ass u
so be patient with clumsy flirtations

 

I think it might be the matter of how you're looking at things. First off.... You have to feel good about yourself in order for others to see that in you. If you feel badly; it will certainly reflect in your appearance. Second? We all get hurt in life from time to time; some more often than others. Each time you feel you're rejected; maybe that says something about the kind of woman that you're attracted to. It's my opinion, based on what you're saying, that maybe you are rushing the woman. Women like to know they're wanted; try the reverse.... show "us" you don't need "us". Men are made so differently than women as well as how they think. Let me ask you this? Is there a general trait that appears in all the women that you've asked out? Might be the wrong type of woman. For me? I was attracted to the "bad boy" image; it didn't work for me. Because? They tend to treat women crappy.... That'll be my next blog! Hugs and wish you well. I hope that maybe something we've said helps identify with your situation.
Kassey