I am not pleased of the stoner i have become. Whenever i actually have weed, Ill smoke it all the time, and whernever i dont, ill be trying to get more or wishing for it. I wish weed wasnt so fuckin good! Ive got an internal impulse to get stoned. Its like going into another world.. and noiw my clean world is getting boringer and boringer all the time. while my Weed world is jsut so interesting, each time, it always feels like a new experience for me. Oh well. I think im going to have to prepare for adjusting my stoner life... Still.. i think its really funny, looking back to how i used to be and what id think if they saw how i have now become... heheh *chuckles* *closes hatch*
Well, do what you want to do. If pot is making you a hermit, and making sober life seem hopelessly boring, you're more than likley addicted to the substance. I smoke atleast once a day, when I have bud, and I still enjoy going out, I still enjoy doing my laundry and mowing the grass early on a nice day. I haven't lost who I am as a human because I smoke, I've simply added Marijuana to my agenda. Some days I don't smoke, though, depending on the strain I've bought. If it's a heavy indica, I really get tired and lethargic, which makes it nearly impossible to do anything productive, so I have to just not smoke the day I have things to do, or work, and I just wait until I get home to blaze up. If Marijuana is all you're ever thinking about, and when you don't have it your only priority is obtaining it, you've transcended recreational smoker and have become an addict. You should cut-back slowly, and see how you like it. If you're happier doing Marijuana on a very low level, or not at all, then that's what you should do. You can't argue with your body, man.
yeh but the thing is i love weed, and i love doing things while high, but I have school so i cant go out during the week. I havnt had any work lately (though i should caus i next year is my last year of school) and i cant clean up when im stoned because things never seem right when i do. I wish i had a life that i could jsut do on my own terms.. im such a typically bored teenager, except I pass my boredom with art and music and not TV lol... Ive become addicted i know it, because whenever i dont have any i get really frustrated and boreddd with being sober for too long. But i dont want to quit inside, caus Its like throwing away my other world and having to put up with this stale and boring one. Im not a hermit ill get out any tie i get the chance.. but i dont get teh chance often, and so when i do, ill get stoned of course, vie got stoned what like before every activity ive done in weeks? lol I love being the stoner i am, i jsut dont approve of what it might do to me. I like the afterglow but once im sober (which, last time i went off weed for 2 weeks and i still wasnt back to how i was before i toked ever) i hate it. Maybe if i had more compassion in my life or something, im pretty lonely atm.. oh well theyre all thigns i have to live through.
I empathize with you, man. High school was terrible for me. I had friends, but not more than 3 good ones. I lived with my parents, and worked about 100 dead-end jobs. When I got out, I actually got a scholarship to Dresden University school of music, so I got pretty lucky there. Now, having a scholarship is a good thing, but beyond that just life in general gets better when you graduate high school. Moving out on your own is the second reward. It's tough at first, but it gets easier, and then you don't have to deal with parents or siblings bothering you constantly. High school probably sucks in Australia just as badly as it sucks here. Why can't you get out during the week? I would think your only real obligation would be homework, beyond that you'd have to clue me in. I wouldn't think that anything could take up all those hours after school though. Having a job sucks, but it's good revenue, and it'll get you out of the house more often, which helps you socialize, get some human interaction. That's always a plus. You say you don't get the chance to get out much, but what do you need as motivation? I mean, you just get in the car and you go, man. You have to get out and find the scene. This is an uninformed statement because I've never been to Australia, but I'd assume there's got to be all kinds of good stuff to do there. If you want a life that is your own, take your passion, whatever that may be, and work your ass off at getting good at it, and then exploiting that talent. That's what I did. In order to truely live for yourself you have to give up monetary dependency and really put your ass out on the line. This is what I plan to do with my music career in 2005 when I graduate. I'm just packing up and taking off somewhere. Could fail miserably, could become something as a performer at some level or another. Either way, you can't buy that kind of experience. You love being a stoner but you don't approve of what it might do to you? What is it that you're afraid of having happen? Are you afraid you're not going to be able to find a good job, or pay rent or something? If that's the case, I can assure that if you do a half-assed job at anything you can pay the rent. The hatred of sobriety goes away if you quit for a couple months. You begin to forget what a real high is like. If you want to quit and be clean, then that's up to you. It surely seems like cutting-back for a while might be a good bet for you.
lol ive got no job. thats my main problem. If i got a job id be much happier i recon. a job and a girlfriend and id be set. I cant drive I generally dont do homework (but thats not caus of weed, and im not jsut saying that) I cant go out during teh week caus people generally dont do thigns after school much, caus other people do have homework, or jobs to do, and also its a pain going out during school wek caus parents can be so demanding of times and stuff and asking wajht your doing and stuff and it such a hassle But holldiays are soon. I go for walks around the city in the holldiays if im bored, but not after school often caus i end up getting home too late. one week of school left... I was going to go to beach house for a week this holldiays but that was sorta cancelled. fucking sucks!! And anyway, i did forget what being high is like, i forget that like the next day. thats another reason i love to smoke caus its almsot like a new experience each time, but familiar. I remember i went wihtout for two weeks or so and it was great when i started again, but those two weeks were so bad.
Well, just don't let weed get in the way of what you want to do in life; that's the most important thing. You'll probably hear a lot of people telling you what you need to do, that you need to quit, that you're fine... I think anyone who enters the realm of maturity, too soon or not, and decides to smoke it is going to have to judge whether or not it's interfering with what they want to do. It's probably very easy to become addicted to weed if you're a teenager, too. Contrary to what people say, sometimes teens' plates aren't as full as they seem. I remember when my sister was in highschool (we have very poor public education, though) none of the stuff she was doing was challenging at all; but, she stayed in it because people said that's what she was supposed to do. She basically used the time to fuck around; you know, live life, get drunk, all that jazz. She graduated with a 3.8 GPA, but now she's at a complete loss and doesn't know what she wants to do in life. Now, I've always had a problem with wanting to get shit done; I just get restless sitting in a glassroomf or two hours, listening to an algebra teacher talk about what her family had for dinner last night, or where they went on vacation when I've already read the book in completion, and can ace any test she hands out. It's torture; they sit you down in this class, with about 50 other kids in it, not one of them is on the same level, and they expect everyone to learn at a standard pace. In actuality, what happens is kids like me get bored after having read the books, kids wanting to learn get neglectd while the teacher has to deal with the ones that don't or can't, and the thing is just a huge mess. Enter marijuana: The thing to do when you have nothing to do. About Jan. of my freshman year, I was just getting so damn bored with life in general. I knew I'd be stuck in this place for 4 more years, just so I could get this diploma, that nice piece of paper, that seemed to be inherently important to get a job. It angered me, aswell, because in order to get this diploma, they made a whole new lot of requisites. We had to pass the WASL (Washington State Assesment of Learning(*cough*standardized testing*), and get a certain score on our SAT's. Not only that, but we have to have 2 fine art credits, 2 foreign language credits, and 2 physical education credits. It all seemed just so asinine, and I knew the only thing I could do was sit here, bored out of my fucking wits, waiting to do it all, because that's what someone else told me I had to do. Well, the more and more I went to school, the more I found myself actually anxious in class. There'd be times when I'd start thinking about all this, and I'd just get angry; listening to this teacher drone on about nothing that has any relevance to the lesson. Sitting in front of some dumb **** who had no interest to be there, who wouldn't stop pressing my buttons. It got to the point where no longer was I bored, I was on the very brink of lashing out and causing something to go wrong. By that time, I had been smoking recreationally for about a month, and I realized that since I wasn't learning anything here, anyway, there'd really be no harm in me being high for class. There was, though. When I get high, I have an urge to learn. An urge to think. I apply the rules of physics to everything I see, and I think about them in my head; I see the water come out of the faucet pressurized, and I think about that. I read every book in every classroom I had. I was now not only bored, but I wanted to learn as much as I could, in a place that coudln't teach me a single thing, or that wanted me to wait another two years so that I could go to the city's skill center and learn things there. It just wasn't going to happen. I coudln't do any of the stuff anymore; so I dropped out into my highschool's alternative learning program. Which, funnily enough, had chemistry and physics courses on the computer; unfortunately, I finished them within 3 weeks. I had aboslutely nothing to do in school, I was underaged in my state to get a job... So, I just started smoking more, writing more, all of that. The majority of my summer was comprised of getting completely blitzed and jamming with friends, paitning, you name it, I was getting high and doing it. So, when the summer ended, and I was legal to work... I was so caught up in my weed hobby that I didn't realize what had to be done immediately. Instead of filling out applications, dropping out of school and prepping for the GED (although I've already passed the test, they won't give it to me until I turn 16), and enrolling in the city's skill center, I was sitting around and getting stoned all day. The reason it never registered to me that I needed to get my ass in gear is because I went from always doing practically nothing in school, having free time, etc., to needing to get shit done. Now, when you smoke about 7 grams a week, that transition can be a little bit too subtle. I could've had a job about three months ago, but instead I was stoned all the time because I thought I had all the time in the world. Now I have to go clean for a month so I can apply to jobs, and I have about 3 months in total to get my GED, get a job, find a roommate, and find an apartment. It's incredibly easy to stay sober with all this going on; it's just when you're not busy that the urge to get high, to enter the realm of thought and enlightenment (for me), seems to kick in. So, anyway, what I'm basically telling you is to find out what you want to do in life, do the things required, and then after that start smoking. When your on the free time, waiting around to get there sort of thing, it's not something you really want to do in excess, because that transition is very, very subtle. Anyway, I hoped I helped a little. I understand what you mean about the other world, too. But, the thing you have to do is set things right, and how you want them, in the real world before you start worrying about the other one. I think that's why so many people have a problem with teens trying it.
I'm not gonna write a big long-winded reply but I got like the way you are now and stayed like that for a few yrs constantly smoking, then I gave up for a while and now I just smoke at the weekends. I know if I started smoking all the time again I'd end up the same way so I don't. Some people have more addictive personalities than others. I used to be real stressed out when I didn't have any smoke, give it a break for a while, even 3/4 days just to clear your head a bit if nothing else.
I am lucky I dont have the problem of being dependant of weed. Even though I smoked almost every day during the summer, the times not stoned werent boring or helpless. I think that weed effects different people and I see that weed doesnt make me a lazy dumbshit that cant multiply. I think it has helped me and I have noticed that I dont use profane language when I have conversations with my friends like I used to. I hope it helps everyone like this and feel sorry for the unfortunate people that cant be stoned and still maintain a managable life. PEACE everyone!
Dude im totally working on sobriety right now, you know exactly how I feel. Right now i'm trying to do one day sober one day smoking at least twice :|. I just realized i'm a real dick when I don't smoke my good ammount of bud. But you get over it trust me.
Everyone says being sober is boring and shit, but personally when I go for a few days, or even weeks smoking bud and being stoned nearly all day, Sobriety is a real trip for me... Just another mindset your not used to, notice things you diddn't notice before because you were too stoned and you overlooked the detail. Each person is different I guess though...
Same exact thing happens to me. My sober life is so much better now. If anything its way less boring than before I started smoking.
Well soberness is jsut plain boring to me now. i always used to find everything so fascinating. Then I started stoning and found much more interesting, fascinating thigns. Ive realised all teh fascination in the sober world is overrated and subjective to my humanity. I spent today at school asking people if they wanted to buy weed so i could get more myself lol. Ive got a loaded bong right next to me. The question is not do i want to get stoned or not. Its do I want to have a boring afternoon, or an interesting one. When i go out, i ask, do i want to have fun, or do i want to have more fun? The last two times ive gone sober for two weeks (longest since ive started) the first time, i got resless by the end of it and teh smoke was fuckin awesome, but teh second time, after id started more of a habit, was met by stress, boredness, depression (well, elevated depression from something that would normally make my pretty sad), sleeping toruble, oh yes, and boredness. I dunno if ive said it beofre, but ive spent 16 years being sober! I dont see how i could find it interesting until ive spent another 16 years being stoned! hehe I have no faith in the education system and im only doing it caus If i dont, my family will like disown me, and friends will cast me out as a dropout, when really im jsut different, and dont want to go to uni (college) and study arts or law or science or soemthing. I want to be a musician, an actor, I want to be an audio engineer, Or if those werent conventional enough, Id like to do electrician or plumbing, and none of those require a UAI (our version of the GPA sorta, University Admission Index). I cant drop out because my whole life my family has been preparing me for academic, respectable job. I have too much to live up to. But If tehres one thing i can admit doing wrong, Its being too lazy to go find a job. I dont want to be coming home from school tho, and then going and working. It would make school pointless caus id never get any work done (though i dont do any work atm). But i need to get a job for my parents to take me seriosuly. fuckgodammit now excuse me please I take a toke, and all my worries, go up in smoke *sings*
Yeah, I find being high much more interesting. Even when I've been sober for a good 30 hours I'm still a bit in the clouds, so if I smoke without a day and a half break, I'm always buzzing. It's a good thing. People say Marijuana will "fuck your life", but only if you allow it to. I do what I want with my life, and everyone who meets me tells me I'm the most mellow, free-spirited person they know. Mainly because I have no interest in cash, only in relationships. I actually did well in high school. I graduated number one in my class,... and this was when I had been smoking for 5 years already. Why was that? Because I know myself very well. I know when it's time to get up and work, and I know that after work I will still be myself and be allowed to blaze, or do whatever I want to do. I never understood the guys who slack off at work or school. You're already there, might as well do something. The public school system here is terrible, and you learn nothing, but it's true... you need that diploma. The material in the classses is pointless and generally you don't have time for anything really important. You could teach yourself a language in one year or less, whereas in high school, it would take you atleast 2 years of that class. It took me 7 months (and a 1 month stay in Munich) to learn German on my own, and in 2 years of German I had only learned basic grammatical structure. That is sad. Our school systems are a joke. I'm sure Australia's school systems are just as bad. They say that if you smoke for long enough you become constantly mellow and buzzed and no longer need Marijuana,... I know old hippies like that. If that happens to me, I'll stop smoking Marijuana. Otherwise, probably not going to happen.
Bill i totally know what you mean, man...i was thinking about it not too long ago, its like everytime you smoke you have to be prepared to step into a new world of sorts haha, lol sorry i'm still kinda high from earlier..Peace
maybe you should like.. pick up some hobbies. or like just be like watever i smoke weed. there is nothin wrong with smokin weed man.
yeh man ive got hobbies, mainly music. I spent almsot all of today trying to sell a dime equivelant so that i had enuf money for a quart. Oh well i hope thats the end of that, last day of school tomorrow w00t
It seems like you need pot to have fun at this point.... I think you should atleast stop smoking completely for a little while, and try to have fun in your sober life.... If something ever happens and you get probation, your going to be sober for awhile.
Most people I no hav been smokin for like 20 years+ & a lot just wanna do nothing but smoke & find life dull without - I think after a while most decided they liked weed mor than anything else so y go through the shit of giving up - good thing is weed makes u not care that much - if u wanna giv up u will - but if u love it don't worry about it - can't compete with being stoned all time - each 2 ther own
