you know, its been my dream for sometime; to experience a life thats so self-involving and spiritualy open. Why i have not strived in this quest i dont fully know, im left to speculate. I recently made a post about my ongoing emotions of selfishness and immaturity. Rather than go my own route, i chose to stay a walk another. For my father and mother, i live a life of certain dead ends and pointless achievments. IM talknig school, more in depth college. IM in college and getting good grades, and it cant be too pointless because im learning, learning is to me, our greatest good. to learn is to gain somehting pure, in a sense. in another, worthwhile. Im going to college to feel their approval, to experience someone proud of me. There is more to life though. Ive recently turned 20, and if eel like im wasting my precious time. ( cant be sure when it will be too late) there are certain familes and indiviuals that i long to make contact with. Ive meet them online through this site, and their friendship is very important to me. I want to get over to PENN to stay wioth very close brothers and sisters of mine, then off to experience the open road. I feel short in my actions because i fear, what if it gets old? if i drop out of college and years later i wish to return it could be too late. I partially feel its better, smarter, and safer to wait my 4 years thru college and then sieze my dreams. BUt then again, what if those dreams fade away and im left with an empty feeling of "wish i hads and should haves".. know where im getting at? i hope no one like, becomes irratated that ive put this in the wrong thread deal, but its about how i wish to asituate my life common to this topic so i found it fit. I know there are many of you out there that are experiencing situations closely if nto exactly as mine. It seems like those before my time had more freedom to follow their hearts, and in my day of reign im left with few choices and many demands. man... just heavy news to my ears i guess, halfway through my perspective im starting to want to exit the page, thinkin it doesnt matter. but i know it does, because if it didnt matter then i wouldnt have started it. haha, im sorry. things have just changed, and the seasons are changing with opens my eyes to my own personal changes (i do have belief that we grow witht he years) so with the leaves falling so does some of my past, ready-ing me for the future. ... i feel kind of ungrateful for thgins i know i shouldnt. but i expect things from myself i wouldnt expect from others becux i expect myself to be greater than the norm, common, population? i dunno. im gonna let this post and just think a while. peave n love to this sweet community, be well everyone
Hey I am basically in the same spot except I don't even know that I am doing this for my folks. I get the feeling that by not going for what I think is right and by continuing in college I am just giving myself a way to fall back into a life that I (right now at least) find empty and kinda hypocritical. Are we just giving ourselves a viable means to return to society? Will this hinder us later when things in an alternative lifestyle are tough? I wish I knew... Send me a message if you get the answer... or even if you don't
it's like looking in a mirror. Study is great but it will always be there, adult learning and what not. You have to live life while your young. Ill see you on the open road somewhere
Everyone has a life story. It is up to you whether yours is written by you or someone else... (yes, i will probably be sued for copyright infringement - oh well)
Go forth, experience the world while you have your youth. Yes, quietthinker, it WILL get old. Living on a shoesting on the open road will get old, school and a career will get old, you will get old, I AM getting old. But at least you can grow older and wiser without any regrets.
