We become Slaves

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Gypzy, Mar 17, 2005.

  1. Gypzy

    Gypzy Member

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    No one talks,
    No one thinks.
    The chains of expectations,
    drowning them-
    into submission.

    The rules win,
    The people's souls have died.
    We are slaves.

    Meh, it's not that great...but it's how I felt in English today...
     
  2. saffronfrancisburnet

    saffronfrancisburnet Member

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    hi there

    i love this

    to be aware of what is around
    is enough...

    just keep helping others to see
    to talk
    to express life
    love
    to tell all if you feel the words
    to openly say whats happening in this world
    of pain,war and divide
    to be aware and speak out
    like your words above
    this is how we change a soul
    a life
    a world for the better for the human race
    for we are the world.
    ......
    love npeace from saff
     
  3. Gypzy

    Gypzy Member

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    hey, that's great! That's what the world really needs though...for people to speak up for what they believe in and against what they don't!
     
  4. kidder

    kidder Member

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    I know the feeling of despair you have. If you care about the world it's impossible not to share it. Don't give up. And when you continue to write, embrace one of the keys: always extend the metaphor.
    'The chains of expectations,
    drowning them-
    into submission.'
    This is a mixed metaphor. Avoid them. They're deadly.
     
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