I just spent a year Iraq but I find it hard to talk about this with other Iraq vets. I can't care about things anymore. I want to, but I'm so indifferent to everything now. I wasn't like this before I deployed. I'm afraid that if I don't get my shit together soon I'm gonna end up broke and homeless. I used to want to be a politician, to go to school and get a degree. But now... I just don't care. I know a lot of my friends are the same way, but they just drink all the time to forget it. We saw some fucked up shit over there, did some fucked up shit.... it just seems like nothing else matters. If any of y'all felt the same, what did you do to overcome? Any constructive input would be awesome. I talked to an army counselor about this a couple weeks ago but she was less than helpful.
Sorry, I can't help with personal experience. I do have some perspective on dealing with issues of various natures, though. The one thing I can tell you is that talking, as hard as it may be, is one of the best ways to work through the things that bother us. If we don't talk with other people, we can only internalize the issues and we can only internalize our reactions and responses. The result is, we tend to withdraw from the world around us. Many times, councelling professionals can't help so much, because they can't really relate to the problem. They simply listen to you talk, without offering any support. A better source of help would be a support group made up of people sharing similar problems. You will be surprised to find out how much relief can be gained from knowing that you are not the onlly one struggling with these issues. I would check the internet for local Iraq Vets and/or Post Traumatic Stress support groups. Find one close by and just go listen to a few meetings. When you become more comfortable, after watching others share their stories, you can share your own. The councelors operate on the understanding that talking issues out can help relieve the stress that a person builds up. The support groups offer that, too, but they also offer the certain knowledge that you are not facing this alone. It might just be what you need to become happy and functional, again. I'm sorry that you have to endure this and I hope you will find a way to cast it off.
I was married to a Viet nam vet. He went thru much of what you describe. I wish I had understood him better he saw a lot of action. He was very depressed the drank a lot and did a lot of dope to cope the dope is what made me leave him. He is beter now he got really sick a couple of times. I think talk would help. Have you tried joining in vetrans groups? I think they help vets to cope. VFW is an execellent group of people. I contribute to their fund raising events as much as I can. Just knowing you are with people who have been thru the same kind of things you have been thru will help a lot so call the Veterans of Foreign Wars and find out where their club house is and get yourself there as soon as you can. here is a link to find a VFW post near you http://emem.vfw.org/findpost.aspx here is another link for more veterans groups: http://veteransnetwork.net/directory.php I would also recomend getting a professional massage as it help with depression and get out in the sunshine as much as you can.
hi ya. honored to meet you. i was an army medic in nam but was only in country 1 1/2 weeks before being medivaced out.first firefight i was in i got wounded.i was able to help a couple other guys out that were hit also so i don't feel to bad about it all..it was such a short tour i had.i never had too many bad feelings about it all...but i guess i went into it determined not to change .there is terrible things in the world and i looked at it that i was able to see some things that not everyone gets to see.i felt it made me wiser in some ways..but like i said part of it is that i had such a short tour of duty and i lucked out with minor wounds but the 9th infantry division was one of the first divisions to be withdrawn in 1969 so they sent me home instead of back to the field..you have some great ideas about career and college.i would say pursue that and try to do some good for others.i worked many years at the local va hospital so i've met alot of vets.your not alone man..i don't know how much help i've ben but feel free to pm me or ask me anything here.and best of regards to you.
Thanks guys. I wish I had more to say but I guess I'm kind of embarrassed now. I'll look into the vfw.... thanks a lot.
The three T's, Today; take it one day at a time,you walked in and now you need to walk out, one day at a time. Time; given the measure of time that your individual nervous system takes to absorb the events in your memory,the senses will began to dim a bit. Tears; even though we are taught the opposite view, the tears of a warrior actually wash away stress,embrace your feelings and when YOU are ready then seek someone to confide in. Welcome Home my brother,you have walked through a valley, now climb you a mountain. PEACE!
^What the others said^ Hola Mr. Warfare, Welcome home, brother. I spent 13 months in Marine Corps infantry in VN. It took 4-5 years for integration after I came home. A good wife and LSD are what helped the most. It also helped to live with a fellow Marine off and on during those years and to have Stephen Gaskin's writings. And it helped to find mj - as I was headed full-speed ahead for alcoholism. Then I was turning on - a huge upgrade over drinking! And finally, I found meaning through helping other people. The VFW is where old men get together to drink, play cards, smoke cigarettes, and so on. The VA is where you can go for health care, counseling, and other support. Many of the counselors are vets. If it doesn't go well, find the Veteran's Affairs (I think that's what they call it) office at the VA. It's a patient advocate office (and I really am unsure re the name of the department) and if you work with them, they'll work with you. Brother, the VA is there to serve you. Stay positive, work with them, and BE PERSISTENT and sooner later it will happen if you need help from them. LA
I just wish it was easier. I'll get out of the army in a couple months if they don't extend me, maybe things will get better then. But even then, there are a lot of things I just can't shake and I doubt that's going to change anytime soon.
For what it is worth I think it shows a lot of strength and heart for you to reach out for understanding and help. Please don't be embarrassed. War is tough business. I know I could not go off and fight a war. I am thinking about you and praying for you too. Hang tight you will get thru it. Keep reaching out don't give up on yourself your fellow countrymen and women appreciate you and how hard it must be for you and all the rest of the people over in the middle east and Afghanistan serving their country. Thank you for your courage. Come back home to us you are in our hearts.
As others have said, talking is the way to go. My friend's dad was at Arnhem during World War2 and what happened to him was horrific, so much so that he never recovered and years down the line he took his own life. Counselling was available but he would never go and his family always believed it could have helped. Good luck to you.
well from what i have seen of the VA it is just another tool of the man! And as far as the local VFW hall it is not there really to help you out. i must agree with liquidacrobat on his viewpoints. however you do have freinds here that are atleast willing to help and listen. All of the elder members made it through the Vietnam era somehow. just drop us a line if we can be of help to you. Thanks for your service and time away from home!
