i really must know before i indulge...what is the typical reaction of a guy whose girlfriend of roughly one year comes to bed with a vibrator? is it a penis he knows he can never contend with or an experiment he's dying to try but won't request
HOT!!!! If it makes her feel extra good, its a + everytime, unless theyre greedy bastards. In conclusion, surprise him.
WOW! Excellent question, and one that like so many other classics, probably can't really be put to rest with an easy answer. I have never been to bed with a girl with a toy for her. It's always been me and her, strictly. (Well, I have used S&M props like wax, ropes, cuffs, clips, but never dildo-like toys.) I definitely think that a vibrator has the potential to threaten a guy with obsolescence in the penis department, but both partners must remember: a piece of plastic can never replace the psychological power of a man's actual penis being used for intercourse. A vibrator will never be that. A guy certainly does not want to introduce the possibility that a girl's first preference is going to be to reach for the vibe instead of grabbing him and saying, "GIVE ME SEX, NOW!" That may be why a guy doesn't introduce the vibe himself. He would rather be the thing/person you go to for your sexual gratification. He wants desperately to be needed for that! If you have a good sex life without a vibrator, I would give an even consideration to leaving it out. Some couples use them, I imagine, when there is an obstacle to enjoying sex thoroughly (usually male impotence problems) and at least they can enjoy sex and sharing intimacy by getting her off with the vibrator. Nothing wrong with that. If a girlfriend of mine wanted to use a vibrator, I think I'd be willing, because I simply enjoy having a good, adventurous sexual time. I wouldn't want to make it be a regular thing, is all. But like any other sexual variety, it could be fun. -Jeffrey
I would say that so long as your vibe is the same size or smaller than your guy, he shouldn't be threatened at all. I do recommend demonstrating how to use it for him though... not only will it get the two of you all excited, it will be somewhat educational for him since chicks tend to be far more knowledgeable about the use of vibs than guys are.
I was seeing this guy for about a week, and we were on a long car ride home, and we started talking about sex and all that. Thats when I told him that I had a toy. I was really embarassed about it at first because it was the first one that I had ever boughten. He was so intreged (spelling?). Everytime we slept together he would ask me to bring it to his place to use it, but I was always so embarassed that i even had it. I think it wasn't until after we stopped seeing each other exclusivly (yeah we were still fuck buddies on a reg basis) that we finally went to my place and tryed it out. He loved using it, because it made me reach an orgasam type that he has only come close to giving me. So yeah, he loved it. So I say go for it... and this thing was only a little silver bullet.
In all my expeirences the guys loved it. They wanted to use it on me and watch me use the vibrator. So i say go for it.
My first vibrator was one that my bf at the time bought for me... But he was older & much more experienced than I was at the time. My bf now thought it was incredibly hot the first time I got the vibrator out in front of him -- he enjoys seeing me enjoying myself as a sexual being, whether that means fingering myself while he watches or using a vibrator or just strutting around in sexy clothes or whatever. It's not something we need to enjoy sex, but it's a fun way to add a bit of variety. If your bf tends to be the insecure type, I would definitely suggest discussing it first, but if he is generally pretty confident & willing to experiement, go for it!
In my experience it's fine - my current man and I love to share every aspect of our sexuality with each other and bringing toys to bed when we're feeling a saucy toy vibe keeps everyone happy. They're such different pleasures that a man shouldn't have a problem with a vibrator replacing him! Vibrating vaginas feel very different from the real thing! But communication is number one for getting what you both want out of sex as far as my experience informs my behaviour (and happiness!).
