Using LSD to overcome social anxiety/gain confidence/kill insecurity?

Posted this in the shroom forum as well, but want some advice from LSD people as well... I'm still trying to decide whether to do this "experiment" with LSD or shrooms first. Or even MDMA (though I've heard that will only provide temporary relief... I'm looking for something permanent).

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Hey dudes.

I've never done LSD or any hallucagens (sp?) before but I'm kinda considering it now for psychological reasons.

For as long as I can remember I've been extremely self-conscious, stemming from a lot of general self-hate/insecurity. I don't have any real reason to be insecure (not worried about my looks or anything obvious like that), but it's reached the point now where I'm basically just very insecure about being insecure.

There's no logical basis for it whatsoever, and at a logical level I know it's all bullshit.

I guess you could call it "social anxiety disorder" though I'm strangely totally cool making speeches and stuff. I do fine in "structured" social situations (i.e. job interview, as long as I don't have to crack jokes), but at parties I fucking suck. I've been able to learn how to "fake it" but it SUCKS and makes me feel empty inside. I hate having to think in social situations.

It's intepersonal shit I can't handle. I try obviously but it comes off awkward. Is driving me fucking crazy cause I know it's all in my head and is all bullshit.

Now, thanks to a few crazy experiences I've had pushing myself (I went clubbing for 7 months, 4 nights a week in attempts to "get over it"---dead sober and chasing hotties the whole time) I HAVE experienced what it feels like to be "normal", anxiety free, no self consciousness, a chill mother fucker basically, without the anxiety, what I feel is my real personality. I know I'm CAPABLE of it, but unfortunately my old thought patterns seems to be DEEPLY ingrained in there.

I'm at the point where I'm truly desperate, I've tried nearly everything, and don't want to just get drugged up on anti-depressants for the rest of my life.

That's where LSD come in. I've had SEVERAL people tell me they had incredible "spritiual experiences" where after they felt much more centered, PERMANENTLY. Like it removed a lot of the bullshit thought patterns for them. One of my friends I was talking to who went through a big change (nice guy >>> chill badass) attributed it largely to a shroom trip.

Any thoughts? I know it's a gamble and it could make me worse and all but honestly, I don't think it will, because I already have "peeled back the layer of BS" so to speak a few times, I just need something to tip me over the edge. Plus I think it's worth the risk. My life is dogshit right now because of this stuff (even though my circumstances are great, it's just mental bullshit) I'm especially interested in reaching that state of "ego death" I've heard happens with LSD and shrooms. If I could achieve "ego death" permanentally as a result of a trip my life would be turned around.

And is it possible it could change me permanentally? MJ is great for social anxiety but obviously has no long term effects. (it makes me paranoid but only in a funny way and not because of other people)

Lastly, any advice on how to improve my chances of having a life latering trip? Should I start with high dose or low dose? Do it alone or with a sitter? In my room or in the woods? Etc...

 

It seems like youve thought about it so much, youll just be disappointed no matter what. And its 'hallucinogen'.

 

MDMA sounds like the drug you're looking for. LSD or Psilocybin might help, but they could just as easily not help, or even worsen your situation.

 

It's impossible to say because it effects everybody differently.

However, in your case I would just try it. You don't seem to have any severe repressed emotional baggage, it just appears like you are a prisoner of your thoughts due to misconstrued cultural conditioning. I'm fairly certain LSD will help flush out a lot of the bullshit thoughts you seem to be experiencing.

In your case I would do it alone so you won't be distracted while diving into your psyche.

Good luck

 

Oh bro trust me when I tell you I know where you're coming from. Exactly. With the crowds and everything. I know what you're going through, but honestly I'm going to tell you straight-forwardly the acid can just a double-edged sword in some cases, but not all (leaving room to give you a sense of hope here, cause some do get lucky). It may center and relax you to considerable depths and get you out of the "playing mind games with yourself" but months or even years later you may just find yourself in that strange position once again -- But maybe not

Really man, there is no magic pill for the strange shit we feel inside that throws us off our game. However, maybe you need to just consider that your aim may be off? You talk about interpersonal shit, so why not go into trip trying to bring out the more loving and forgiving in you? You can never be perfect, and acid isn't about sculpting yourself into what you think you should be, it's about sculpting yourself into who you really are. And only you know who that is somewhere deep down in there, so I obviously can't give you all the answers or the direction to take, only my honest opinion.

But anyway,

I find that when tripping with other people -- who are sober anyway, and watching me, sometimes their shitty vibes rub off on me while I'm tripping. Acid can get me into a very pure state and sometimes people who are around me and sober can counter-act that, because you can kinda just feel the bullshit lingering inside of them.

^ The guy who said that above just nailed it right there, I guess that's what i'm trying to say with the above paragraph.

But for your questions,

The first time I tripped I took four hits and was by myself, and it changed me for a while. IT got me out of a drinking habit and really put the joy back into my life for the better. But everybodys different.

Maybe trip with a friend. At the woods, camping. Somethin like that.

Later

 

OP.... it sounds like your interested and comfortable with tryin psychedelics, which is great. i understand your situation and i think that a good acid trip could provide you the help your lookin for. take two hits, and do it with a couple other friends (2-4) that are also into lsd. it should help, happy tripping

 

often we can get exactly what we want from LSD, but in unexpected and circuitous ways. just take your intentions with a grain of salt. don't force anything, and expect to be surprised.

 

Hey, I can definitely connect with you NoxNoctum. I've been thinking about taking LSD to help myself overcome certain problems as well. In fact, I definitely decided on it a long while ago, although I still haven't taken it.

The problem is that there's no one in my area, and I honestly don't want to deal with druggies that can't differentiate between LSD and something actually harmful. Other than that, I would have done it months ago.

Good luck, though! But be careful! Actual LSD can be quite difficult to obtain.

I wouldn't try other psychedelics for the sole reason that they're easier to obtain, though. LSD also tends to be more "real," from what I've read. Of course, different things work for different people, but I'm telling you about what I've heard the most. I've done a lot of reading into acid.

Mindset and setting are key!

 

What if those hits are around 150 or more micrograms each? For a first time, I say take one hit if it's a medium/strong dosage or if you don't know what the dosage is.

It's best to be safe, and you don't want to end up regretting it!

 

I've honestly only done LSD once at Bonnaroo during the Snoop Dogg concert, and it felt clowny to me and made me feel disconnected from everyone, I couldn't hear and it was like people couldn't hear me either or just didn't pay attention.. It was only one trip, but I still don't know what to think about it.

On the other hand I love mushrooms and they have always showed me something, usually it's what I'm looking for. Other people don't have these revealing trips, I guess because it's not what they are looking for, with that said I would go with 3 grams of mushroom.

 

heard there was a lot of bunk at bonnaroo... if you love booms, youd love real lsd

 

As many have already said, acid is a double edged sword, and its not the easiest one to swing at that. But it will show you other perspectives, especially about yourself if you drop alone, that you may not like. I had kind of the same issues, very self aware, self loathing, not great at interacting with strangers in non-structured enviorments.

The trip that began to change that was not a fun experience. I realized I had some wierd fucked up superiority complex that I reverse projected as being extremely humble, and that I struggled interacting with strangers (especially women) because of a fear of rejection, which would then mean I wasn't superior, and my ego couldn't take that. Ego death was terrifying, I had an extremely hard time accepting that when it comes down to it, we're all the same. Alot of other issues were brought to light during that trip, and I came out of it very shaken and confused about who I really was.

Since then, I've tripped on smaller doses, and gained alot of clarification as to what I experienced then. Some of the positive changes in my life since then have been smoking way less weed, being more financially responsible, working out, and being more outgoing and positive in general.

If you do decide to go with lucy, I would recommend 2-3 hits, alone with a sober sitter nearby but not interacting with you unless you really need him/her. Just remember the change won't be instantaneous, but as long as you don't ignore what you learn, you'll almost be forced to integrate it into your life eventually.

 

OP... take two hits.

 

Once again, it's always best to be safe! It may have worked out wonderfully for you, but from what I've read, there are quite a number of people for whom around 300 micrograms+ was too much for their FIRST TIMES.

Of course, you've been experienced, so you have the upper hand, but everyone still reacts to things differently, and it's best to minimize risk.

And it's not like every hit has the same dosage. You may have had 100 micrograms per hit for all you know, which is pretty good. Others may have had 50.

 

OP, take five hits.

 

Friend of my said he thought it felt pretty pure.. I know it couldn't have been strong though because it only really lasted about 3-4 hours for me, a little longer for a couple others.

 

neeehhhh. two

 

i had very bad anxiety last year. very bad. had to drop out of school for over a year because of it. quit my job. possibly lost my gf to it. bad anxiety.

took 5 hits.

anxiety is down to like 5% of what it used to be, and thats on my bad days. now i walk tall and have taken back control of my life.

it may fix you, it may also break you. i needed about a year after that trip to integrate it all, only now am i really feeling "done" with the trip. it is serious, serious stuff man. you will emerge a different person.

 

Was that your first time on a psychedelic drug?

Anyways, that's very encouraging to hear. I can't wait. Now I just gotta figure out how to fucking find some!

 

it wasnt technically my first time on a psychedelic, i had done acid twice before that day, smaller doses, but the dosage is what pushed me into the ++++ experience and allowed my entire self to be reset and rebooted and healed. its the dosage that is the key to these things. You have to take enough.