tomato seeds

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by inbloom, Oct 10, 2004.

  1. inbloom

    inbloom as the crow flies...

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    tomato seeds
    --------------
    i love your tattoos
    and the way you move
    seeds trickle upwards,
    running into our backs
    chapstick glistens on
    your little pink lips
    and i chase your thighs
    running under the covers
    your tummy is hurting and
    i want to kiss it better
    i'll bring you tomato soup
    while you lay sick in bed
    i love that you're mine
    and how i'm yours too
    seeds fall all over you
    in the place where i lay
    a ring will makes it's way
    to the place on your hand
    and you'll show everyone
    how we'll be married someday

    :)
     
  2. lucyinthesky

    lucyinthesky Tie Dyed Soul

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    awwww so cute. :)


    grrrrr......
     
  3. LivinNreflection

    LivinNreflection Member

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    "a ring will makes it's way
    to the place on your hand
    and you'll show everyone
    how we'll be married someday"

    That's my favorite part...so sweet! I liked it a lot....thanks for sharing it.
     
  4. kidder

    kidder Member

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    I'd skip the last four lines and just stick with the wonderful sense of play already established in the poem. Hmmmm, I thought with seeds tickling your backs you must be out in the fields. Liked that idea but then you put her into a bed. Take her back outside. Sunshine will make her better!
     
  5. inbloom

    inbloom as the crow flies...

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    nothing makes her any better or worse. she's infinitely perfect the way she is.
     
  6. scarlettchasingroses

    scarlettchasingroses strawberry tart

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    awww......

    i think you both are amazing....and i'm so happy for you
     
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