Today I Learned...

...that buttermilk biscuits dipped in french onion soup is damn tasty.

 

Today I learned that this will be the last year I run a 5k "fun run" with out some sort of conditioning or training in the weeks before hand.

 

today I learned I can make it from Reno to Fernley and back in under an hour

 

.....that more guys are afraid of snakes than girls.

i think that's funny shit.

 

...that rkdmdmnrkldm is an acronym for "really knobby dorky man, dorky man not really knobby, love dorky man" which was the nicest compliment he's ever received, and caused him to fall deeply in love with a young Japanese girl.

 

you know what i learned toady?

how to make 15mL of CuSO4 and DH2O with a 30x concentration rate.

Kicked ass. Pwnt.

 

Today I learned... that telling the Boss exactly what I think and then not showing up for a week brings me respect, not unemployment.

Oh, and that PriceCheck is cool.

 

...that i'm good enough, smart enough, and dog gone it people like me.

 

Today I learned that I am in serious financial problems.

 

Today I learned why they recommend you leave the bandage on the wound site for at least 5 hours when you give blood. A shorter time (like 2 hours) is unacceptable, and requires direct pressure and cold water to stop the bleeding and Shout stainremover for your clothing. You can, however, achieve a respectable buzz on just a beer or two that evening.

 

today i learned that 6th graders think i'm the coolest substitute teacher ever. i also learned that if they start taking off their shoes (because they think i'm cool), it is a very bad sign of things to come (they thought i would be cool with them sliding across the classroom in their socks. uh, nooooo? cracked skulls and blood are not good things to have to explain to admin/parents...) good times....

 

I learned that over ripe bananas are the same price as regular bananas, and that "boo-ya nas" and "nanners" are not suitable pronunciations.

Also, if it's windy enough, my hat can come off all by itself! Can you imagine if that happened when you were just like sitting in your living room flipping through a magazine? I bet you'd be pretty freaked out. I sure would.

 

I learned the meaning of life.

 

I learned reverse kisses are not always appreciated

 

i don't really get hangovers anymore. I mixed PGA jello shots (120+ proof) with red wine and woke up fine. just a little thirsty.

 

if you think you dont get hangovers anymore, you are still way to young.

 

I learned that in a bathroom with 80 sqft of tile, a litter box, and a small rug, the cat will always puke on the rug.

 

i learned that trying to hold a pan fresh off the stove and talk at the same time will get burned and in pain for the next 3 hours.

 

i've spilled more than you've drank old man. I've done a lot of livin and dyin in my few years pops.

 

...that a 35,000 lb. coil of metal is no match for a flatbed trailer. Thirty five thousand pounds from 10' up and they snap like a twig. Pretty impressive bang too! (I didn't do it, but if you know anyone looking for an x-overhead crane operator let me know.)

You can't get a hangover if you don't get sober. Someday you'll have to, until then yup your right party on.