This is going to be one long complicated issue...

Ok,I need help really badly. I've tried to get it from my twin sister who is an empath and her friends, many of whom are psychic but they cant...Here's the thing, its almost impossible for them to read me any way, shape, or form; and believe me there is a reason. Ever since I was very little I have had a very strong imagination with lots of little make believe friends, as did my twin. However for her they eventually went away, not for me. They grew more complicated, realistic and mature. That's why no one can read me, they cant find me, they have to wade through 44 other minds, some of which are extremely disturbed, but I'll get to that later. This has caused a lot of issues for me, number one beong 'oh-my-god-I'm-hearing-voices-in-my-head-I'm-a-freaking-nutcase!' Does anyone else have my problem? What am I exactly, a crazy freak or just kinda cursed (It is nice to always have someone to talk to...). Another problem is one of the 'voices'. His name is Van, he is evil. Extremely so, it actually pains my twin and friends when they come in any sort of contact! Hell, he terrifies me... If I could explain just how horrible he is I would but...I just cant. So, what's the verdict? Crazy or somehow psychic? Feel free to ask questions before giving your opinion, theres I lot I didn't say.

 

Hell. LOL Yes, I know hell, and you're getting a nice, juicy piece of it.

Crazy is a definition. Life is experience, and the why's and wherefores are far beyond the definitions contrived by the medical-school-trained psychiatrists doing their best to make everything fit into a well-organized frame...you're on the cutting edge, and as such you need to lose the definitions and deal with the undefined experience.

LIFE is a long and complicated issue...LOL...so let's find a place to dig a foxhole, settle in for a long guard shift, and begin our deconstruction.

Let's start with Van, because he/it seems to be a major pivot in your experience. Please talk about what terrifies you about Van. And Riesay -- sending you peace -- remember you are an eternal being, and in the final analysis there is nothing that can truly harm you...there are currents that must be dissected for their meat--if we dive into the deepest of the currents, we'll catch them at their source and diminish their strength. The peace of God will prevail in the long run...just hold on, take deep breaths...LOL...and laugh--laughter is by far the best armor.

 

Van...he is evil. What more can I say? Well...just his presence is disturbing, because rathor then just confined to my mind its a feeling that surronds me everywhere. Like in a horror movie when you see the crazed monster just around the corner that the soon to be dead person is going around. And actually interacting with him is like a crazed, bloodthirsty game of cat and mouse. Honestly, he is the type that would kill, rape, maim, etc. just for fun. And its a huge energy drain for me and everyone thats ever had anything to do with him. Whats the most terrifying though is when he attacks. No, its more like a full out assault on my mind. One of the worst times was a few months ago at a church service, I began to see him, which happens often enough, extremely scary because of his appearence but I can deal. What's different about the attacks his I see him more clearly then ever, and he's talking...taunting me. A moves constantly, faster then I could blink, above a beam, on the stage, in front of me. Wherever I looked! I couldn't stand to look at the floor because there he was, under the pew ahead of me, grinning his face was covered in blood, it always is...ready to leap...I ended up hyperventalating and my poor twin had to run out of the room. So...everything is what scares me I guess. But more on his appearence, I already mentioned the blood, he's tall, easily 6'7" pale, he looks like a corpse. Nails more like claws...his eyes, I never really look at them but I'm fairly sure they're red. He's also dressed in black.
Thanks zengizmo, this is really therapeutic. I hate to be a burden and thats all I've been to my twin which is horrible especially since now her friends keep talking to me instead of her when they're her friends...Sorry, rambling. Thanks! Tell me if I'm being a bother though, I hate to be one.

 

No bother, Riesay. Your situation didn't come about overnight, and it's going to take some time to explore it. This forum is one of my regular ummm "haunts" LOL, so I intend to be around here for some time--and maybe some other folks on the forum will have thoughts or questions as well.

Your description of the asswipe--ummm, excuse me, "Van" is his "name," is it?--what the hell kind of a name is that? Never mind, the point is that your description is helpful in seeing what you're deaing with. Oh yes, he's very scary, all righty. Very impressive--must be proud of his ability to scare the hell out of young women--what a talent. So please tell me, Riesay, if you will, how did Van come to be a part of your life? Were there any events in your life preceding or surrounding his first appearance? Any particular emotional events at that time? Does Van interact with any of your other mental companions, and if so, how? Let's try to paint a thorough picture of who this guy is.

 

Well, I don't really rember when he appeared...around when I was twelve, I do know that at first I just heard about him. But yes he has interacted with one of my other mental companions (love that term by the way, much better then crazy voices!) and predictably it did involve violence and rape...but I never actually saw or heard much about it, I've just heard about it happening many, many years ago and there's been no interaction ever since except I know that Van wants something from...well, I'll use the name Amy because even though its completely illogical I feel like I'm prying. And Amy's this companion's common nickname anyways. I hope this helps, sorry its not much on when he appeared but its all I can remember, the time line for when I 'met' everyone is somewhat blurry. I can tell you my first one, a woman named Remaura, Rem for short, and she's very kind. A bit hyper though. The latest has been Rhapsady. He's an ass, I like the name though, and I just remembered! He's connected to Van to, I'm not sure how though although I do know that he's trying to hide from Van and they have a bit of a history. Nothing else though, sorry.

 

Okay Riesay, now the story's starting to develop a bit. Oh, and by the way, the term "mental companions" is the one I came up with a few years ago for my own "voices." My mental companions are real, live people. So here's the big question for you: Are your mental companions live people, or just disembodied entities? You say that Van wants something from Amy, and that his interaction with the others involved violence and rape. So it seems important to know whether these are actual humans.

I had a bit of contact with Van last night, by the way. He showed me his ugly face and his patently evil smile, and I told him he should go brush his teeth and maybe use some Visine eye drops for his eyes. He hurt my stomach, so I hurt him back. You know, he strikes me as exactly the sort of guy who is trying to compensate for an extraordinarily tiny wanger. Actually I wonder if he's a closet cross-dresser--has he ever shown up wearing a little teddy, fishnet stockings, spike heels, false eyelashes, and a blond wig? I can just picture him doing Marilyn Monroe--or maybe Betty Boop--you know, where she sings her cute little song, "I wanna be loved by you alone--boop boop be doop!" The Van Drag Queen Revue. You should ask Van about me, and see if it was good for him.

So anyway, at first you just heard about him--from your other companions, I assume. They just started telling you about this guy, out of the blue? Why did that subject come up? Do you remember what your life was like in general at that time? Were you generally happy? Were there any major events around that time that you can remember?

This other guy you mentioned--the correct spelling would be Rhapsody, btw, unless for some reason his name is specifically spelled with two a's--in case you care about that, but maybe you're not anal retentive about spelling like I am--anyway you say this guy is an ass, too. Do you have any male companions who are NOT asses? Any you like?

How old were you when you started talking to Rem? What were those conversations like? What was happening in your "external" life around that time? What was your emotional state like at the time?

Inquiring minds want to KNOW.

 

Your crossdressing comment was hilarious! Sorry though, I cant ask him about you, I can contact him it just scares me, and when it doesnt I just feel so on edge and repulsed. How'd he hurt you stomach by the way? I just get headaches, how did you contact him in the first place? Does this mean he's not just some crazy concoction of my brain? And yes, your spelling of Rhapsody was correct, I'm just a bit spazzy with my spelling.
Yes by the way, they are real people to me at least. They have stories, lives likes and dislikes. My twin can even read them and such, however I've never met them outside of my own mind so I cant be sure as to what to define them as. I did ask though "Hey, are you real?" I never saw that friend so annoyed! He called me an idiot for even questioning his existance then we had a long debate on how any of us can be sure if we exist. Long story short, yeah, I do count them as living beings because they say they are and I haven't that much reason to doubt it.
But tell me about your mental companions! I've never met anyone else with `em. Hell, up till now I was about to give up and decide I'm insane.
First hearing about Van...I wasn't actually told about him at all untill I first contacted him. Well, with any of my companions except Rem I first get little facts, the outline of their stories before meeting them...Here, so it makes sense I'll use and example. About a year ago I was watching a movie when I just began to feel sad, really sad and cynical. I wasn't sure why but for a few days afterwords the feeling would just randomly pop up. Then I began to suddenly have odd thoughts appear, vague at first like: 'I will find her no matter what.' or 'wow, this person lived in a war torn country'. And eventually a name just popped up, in that case it was Dark. No thats not his real name, he hasn't told me what it is...But thats the general pattern they all follow, I still dont remember Van's appearence at all though. Sorry about that, I don't remember much of anything from before I was thirteen really.
Rem's appearence though, we mainly talked about little girl things, I was about oh, eight? I remember talking to her on the swings of my primary school. She looked the same as she still does, a young woman in her early twenties with dirty blond hair and a dark tan.
Around that time I was living in this creepy white house, my twin and I hated it! We were scared to be left alone, especially upstairs or near the shed. I was also bored of the kids at school I think, I always was in school. And I didn't have any friends really except my twin of course, so I might have been a bit lonely. It was also near that time I was starting to realize my mothers drinking problems, even now thats left me confused and sad. Angry to sometimes, but not back then. Thats about it really. I think I was happy, just left on my own alot with my twin, our mom was never around a lot and we only saw our dad on weekends.
As for male companions that aren't asses there are plenty, I do have a total of 44 companions, ridicules amount I know but I seem to have no control over it. So that would be...27 males, 25 of which I like and 17 females, only 1 I dislike, Priscilla, and she's just insane...As for the ones I get along with best...I'd have to say for girls Rem, her friend Loha, and a teenager named Cleo. Guys are Winter (girly name I know), his hyperactive cousin Morning, Crin, Deyfas <-He's an ass to and downright obscene but I can't help but like him for some reason. And a cute little guy (actually looks to be around 12-16) named Ren. Whats freaky is he has the same color eyes and skin as Van but well, Ren has the mind of a toddler, very sweet. I also cant forget Yamato, he's Amy's life partner and I can only describe him as a life saver. Then there's Cosmo, I can only describe him as whoring-goth-pirate, really I've looked for other ways to describe him but thats the only way that works. Well, I could go on and on about this so in short: except for the extreme antisocials and psychos I get along very well with everyone. Kinda have to seeing how its a 24/7 occupation in my head...Once again, thank you very much! I'm starting to feel much more cheerful.

 

If Van ever shows up again, I strongly suggest you think of him in drag-queen mode.

How did he hurt my stomach? Hmmm, not sure how to answer that--I was giving him some shit about being an asshole, and then he ummm came closer, and I got a sudden sharp pain in my stomach. I've gotten pains in my stomach before from my companions, so I knew it was from him, though this pain had a quality I've never felt before--it was more painful, and there was something--well, sick or evil about it. That's the only way I can think to describe it--it had sort of a sickening quality.

How did I contact him? Same way I contact my companions--started thinking about him, wondered what he was like, started talking to him, and then he showed up. He really does a good job on the repulsiveness, all righty. He kind of looks diseased, or rotting--gray face, sickly-looking brownish-gray eyes that look like they have pus or something in them, teeth that look like he chews on corpses and never brushes them. And he was quite proud of his repulsive appearance, I could tell.

Is he not just some crazy concoction in your brain? Well hell, Riesay, we could have a long talk about what reality is or isn't, and arrive pretty much where we started. You say they believe they're real--but real in what way? Do they lead physical lives on planet earth right now as we speak? Your one friend's reaction to your question "Are you real" strikes me as an overreaction that may have been designed to throw you off the trail--as the line from Shakespeare goes, "Methinks you protest too much." I have an opinion, based on what you've told me plus my own experience. I believe your friends are "real" in the sense that they are entities in themselves, apart from your own mind--I don't think you concocted them. However they don't seem like living people, in the sense that you and I are living people, with physical bodies that are currently alive and breathing. Van is not like any living person I've ever known--I think you would have to agree with me. Were they once alive and now ummm passed on? The example you gave mentioned somebody "lived in a war-torn country." If that was an actual example, then your phrasing suggests this person is--possibly--no longer alive. Obviously whatever their true nature, they do exist, and the complexity of their personalities and stories makes them sound like actual people, whether living or not.

How can any of us be sure we exist? I know I do--and I take it you know you do--in the words of Rene Descartes, "I think, therefore I am"--only he said it in Latin, which makes it much more profound. I can prove my own existence to myself; everybody else is suspect. LOL But assuming that other people do exist as separate entities like me, I know that the voices in my mind are real, living people, because a few of them demonstrated this for me. One in particular, the one I refer to as my primary spirit guide, spent quite a bit of time in a close external friendship with me and demonstrated the reality of the telepathic communication over and over. She repeated things to me that I had told her only mentally, she answered my unvoiced questions, she gave me information mentally and then confirmed it out loud. However there have at times been people in my mind whom I've never met. My guide used to refer to herself as "we" a lot, both out loud and in my mind, giving the impression that she was one of a group of people/spirits who resided in my mind--and often she and others in my mind would address remarks to each other rather than to me.

The question of whether you're crazy is a whole separate matter, Riesay. How is your life, in general? Do you function in society more or less like other people--go to school or work at a job? Apparently you're highly attuned to your friends, so that you're able to have long and nuanced conversations with them. I would find that very distracting. In fact, I did, at one time--when I first started having telepathic conversations, I asked my angels (that's what I sometimes call my mental friends--other times I have been known to call them witches) to attune me so that I could hear them better in my mind, and they accommodated me. However it got to be too much. I was having these long conversations in my mind all the time, and the external world was like an unwanted distraction. My wife complained that I was non-responsive a lot of the time when she or my kids were talking to me. So after a couple weeks of this, I asked my angels to back off the volume so I could function better, and they did. Do you run into any issues like this? From my point of view, you seem like a pretty "normal" person. You're pleasant and interesting, respond appropriately and thoughtfully, have a good sense of humor, being as how you laugh at my jokes, you seem tolerant and well-balanced.

I've never run into anybody who had experiences specifically like yours--but I've never run into anybody who had experiences specifically like mine, either. What I have decided, after hearing about lots of folks' experiences, is that "reality" is much more flexible and complex than anybody can fathom, and that there is a wide variety of experiences, and that life is all about experience, and every person gets a life with experiences designed for them alone. Sometimes our experiences overlap with others'--that's one of the things I like about this forum, cuz I find lots of people here who have some experiences that overlap with mine that some folks outside this forum would label "crazy."

 

Riesay, I don't know exactly what's going on with you, so this is just going to be speculation.

But just because society (60% of which have some type of psychological disorder) tells you that hearing voices means your crazy, doesn't necessarily mean that it's true. Society has always shunned anything that is not normal. The way we have built up societies, we all flock to one another, think alike, dress alike, then patronize and alienate the unusual.

I have the capability of sensing/seeing spirits that are around. I can sometimes hear them too. Perhaps you are just hearing those of the phantom realm around you. As long as no one gets hurt, hah.

Just my two cents.

 

Does this mean that my imaginary friend Nero is real?

 

Thank you very much you guys, especially you zengizmo. It doesn't really matter who or what these guys are, I enjoy their company immensely, and yes I often do have the same problem of not listening >-< what I find very useful is to kind of imagine a barrier around the 'me' part of my mind and do some quiet meditation. Then tell everyone to stay away when I need some alone time. And the description of Van was right on, you really can sense the ego radiating off him from about...well anwhere. Makes it a bit obvious he's trying to compensate for a certain something doesn't it?

I'm also perfectly happy, stressed all the time but that's part of life. I have great friends and am blessed with a twin.
As for the concept of me seeing ghosts, well that's kind of freaky because the youngest two are six. I know children die all the time but it's still a bit freaky. Oh well, I'm fine, besides I have a strong feeling that I'm going to at least meet Rem someday. And I already have a cryptic promise from Deyfas (he's an ass but I can stand him) that I'm also going to get an exact explanation. I trust them, well not Deyfas, but no one can really. So, thanks a lot!
P.S. Rem says thanks to zengizmo and...you are very close? Is that right? Yes it is. Does that make any sense to you? I'm just getting some chukling here :huh: Great part about these guys, about half of them can't out right say it...:sweatdropNo wonder I pry so much! It's because I have to! And thanks to you to Guardian, now I know for sure hearing voices has nothing to do with my sanity, I'm just blessed with a few extra friends to help me with the bad times.

 

No, lost, it means there is finally some hope that YOU are real. LOL

 

LOL I had to think about this a bit, but I think now I know what Rem is talking about.

This morning as I rode the train into the city for work, I was thinking about you and your friends, and about me and mine, and about what I had told you about everybody getting a life experience made just for them. I was thinking about the similarities and differences between your experience and mine, and trying to figure out what our experiences were designed for. The thought that came to me--and I felt that I was very close to the truth, which is what I think Rem is referring to--was the following:

I believe that you and I are both at a place on our spiritual paths where we're being prepared for having our awareness opened wider, and for becoming spirit guides. I believe that among the things we need to be trained for is (1) being able to function in life while in continual contact with other spirits/people in our minds, and (2) being able to deal with extreme emotions--such as fear, Riesay, or anger, or sadness, or loneliness--with equanimity, because as spirit guides we'll be exposed to these emotions in others, and we need to learn not to get caught up by them, and we need to be able to view other people with love, tolerance, and understanding no matter what kinds of emotions or thoughts we encounter in them--and no matter how pissed they may be at us, and no matter how scary they might become under some circumstances.

I also believe that we were brought together to exchange help, and I think Rem is thanking me for filling my role in your life as they planned it--I see that I've helped you, and I'm very glad--but you've helped me too, Riesay. By sharing your experiences you've re-confirmed mine, and strengthened my faith. You've given me the opportunity to demonstrate for myself the validity of my gifts and my experience. And you've helped me feel a bit less isolated. So thank you, Riesay. And you can thank Rem for me, too--never mind, maybe I'll thank her myself. I get the cryptic statements and chuckles too--quite often, in fact. And when I read your message from Rem, my spirit guide just about killed herself laughing. LOL Seems to me that your friends and mine are in cahoots.

That last statement sent my guide into more gales of laughter, so I guess I must be right.

 

Well I'm very glad that I was actually able to help you zengizmo! And spirit guide? Yeah Rem fills that role quite nicely, she's rolling her eyes, most likely because I didn't think of it before. Also I'm getting the feeling that she finds this all very amusing, but she reassures me she's quite fond of you, in her own words "this guy has a nice feel, no Riesay I won't elaborate because there are some things you just need to stumble through on your own."


Could you elaborate a bit more on becoming a spirit guide though? Sadly I am lacking much knowledge in that area. All I really do know is that a spirit guide is well...a guide, a nice one to, just because of my interactions with Rem.

By the way, zengizmo do you think its possible for a friend to have access to trillions of people? Because in my last post I was speaking with Deyfas, and I brought up the possibility of him tracking down someone because he seems like the type that would be good at that. Well, he complained about having to "wade through trillions of human souls" (I edited that statement a lot, he curses) but off he went. And he's doing the normal cryptic thing of just appearing now and acting smug. He wont tell me if he managed to talk to someone I know (that was the only thing I asked, to confirm he's not lying if he does find a way to talk with someone) and the laughing is just getting annoying. Wait, he's saying this "Dont worry, its someone you know. Or will know. Possibly knew. Then again what do I know?" I am greatly questioning why I am fond of him rathor then imagining myself beating him. Maybe because I'm to whimpy to actualy pull that off...

Oh, I forgot to think of Van in drag queen mode when he showed up last night. Well, we didn't really talk but I did sense him, heck I think everyone did, I'm just glad I my twin was asleep or I would have had to stand out in the rain, I only find it fair that I'm the one to leave when she starts to read something disturbing. What I felt was anger. He was pissed, seriously I thought he was going to tear off someones head...But surprisingly I wasn't to worried about myself. So, joy for me Van got within twitching distance and I didn't freak out!

 

Huh?

 

Sorry, lostification--it was just a joke. You and I should have a separate discussion--I'll go back to your original thread "The People I See"--some other night, when it's not so late.

Riesay, I have a lot more to say to you, but it needs to wait until maybe tomorrow night--your friends are hilarious. LOL I relate so much to your experiences--it's really great. You're the first person I've ever met with experiences so similar to mine.

 

Yes, they are hilarious when they're not wreaking havoc... or tormenting me….can’t forget the never ending laughing…and, oh lets forget it….I’m really the only other person you've met with these experiences? Wow, I had no clue. You'd think there'd be more people like us. Well, if I’m the only person you have met then I’m glad I chose this forum out of all of Google!

 

Riesay, every time I think about Van coming for a "visit" with you the other night and just simmering with anger, I laugh my head off. Really, I've gotten a lot of mileage out of the image of him sulking in the corner like a beaten dog, saying nothing but letting you know he's pissed. LOL The reason you were in no danger is that it was ME he was pissed at. Well Riesay, I was NOT very nice to him the night before LOL but he deserved what he got.

Anyway, bottom line is: It's all BS, and he is just as hilarious as the others.

And congratulations to you on not freaking when he showed up this time.

Yes, I would definitely say that Rem fits the popular image of the beneficent spirit guide. I guess your friends are opening the way to allow me to let the cat out of the bag--the fact is that ALL of those folks are your spirit guides. And God, so many of them! I really wondered about why you got so many.

I have only a few, and almost always my main contact is the one who was my close friend. But that one person fills a lot of the same roles your friends divide among different personalities. She's been an angel to me, and she's been a demon. She's been my lover and my enemy. She gives me psychic insights, and she plays cat-and-mouse games. She can make me feel mortal fear, and she can fill me with intense love and peace.

So why the division of labor among your friends? The first thought that came to me is that they didn't want to freak you out too much. I was in my late 40's when I first got pulled into this dimension, and I had a solid base of adult experience behind me--and even so, it was absolute hell for me sometimes--and sometimes still is. You were just a little girl, without all the adult coping mechanisms.

There are other mysteries about the differences between our experiences, which I'll probably continue mulling over as time goes by.

As to your question about becoming a spirit guide, I don't know a whole lot about this. However my current guide gave me the impression that she had reached a new stage in her own training when she was given charge of me. Very early in our friendship, I once heard her saying to someone else in my mind as I was falling asleep, "It looks like I'll need to partition myself for this," meaning for the purpose of being my mental companion, I assumed--and it sounded like she was looking for confirmation from someone more experienced. Another time, much later, after she had treated me like dogshit and scared the hell out of me, I reached a point where I was in total despair, and I cried out in my mind to her. Suddenly I felt terrible anguish from her, and genuine regret for the way she had treated me. She wailed to someone else in my mind, "Oh, God! I wasn't ready to start pissing people off!" This gave me material for a lot of thoughts. It seemed that being a loving spirit guide was one of the easy jobs, and she had progressed to something harder--being almost demonic at times.

It seems like YOUR spirit guides play good cop/bad cop. LOL

My first two guides did that with me, to a large extent. I'm going to call them Mia and Danni--not their real names, because they are real people I knew and spoke to out loud. Mia was the "good witch," and Danni was the "bad witch." However Mia showed me her overwhelmingly awesome power on a couple of occasions, and one time she really thrashed me in my mind. It scared the crap out of me. She tortured me half the night--every time I started to fall asleep, she pulled me slowly but irresistibly back to consciousness. She did this over and over, until I was afraid I would never sleep again--but finally, after a couple hours of this, she let me sleep. I was really scared of her when I woke up the next day. And then she seemed to relent, and acted as if she had gone too far with me. She bent over backward to make me happy. She said in my mind, "I'll do whatever you want today." And she did--she was true to her word. One time she said something in my mind that I took offense to. It was a silly thing, but I asked her for an apology. At first she balked, saying, "Come on--this is silly." I said, "You said you'd do anything I wanted today. I need you to do this--I need to feel that I have some control." She replied, "You're right--I'm sorry."

But I got off the track. I don't really know much about being a spirit guide, except what I've seen my own doing. It seems like the role of a spirit guide is to goad, trick, scare, anger, love, comfort, and so on--whatever it takes at the appropriate moment to push us, sometimes kicking and screaming, along the path toward greater spiritual growth. And I believe you and I are being trained to do the same thing.

Now your other points--Rem says I have a nice feel--well that's nice. LOL They're setting us up for something, Riesay. LOL God only knows what. I guess we'll find out as time goes by. And I'm sure Rem DOES find it all very amusing. My guide does, too. She's laughing like crazy as I'm typing this.

I think it's hilarious the way Deyfas plays you. It's not hard at ALL to sort through the trillions of souls, and he doesn't need to go away anywhere to do this--he's just giving you the dramatics for the fun of it. LOL Feel very lucky if he ends up actually telling you anything genuine. I like him a lot--reminds me a bit of myself. (That statement got my guide laughing again.) I'd like to know if Deyfas knows any choice words that I haven't learned yet... LOL

 

I bet you he does, he's always been quite creative...Luckily he only came about in the past year or so or else I would have been either completely traumatized, or being so impressionable an extremely foulmothed little girl. I'll also never know why I'm so gullible with him, I know 90% of what he says is a lie...But when he does tell the truth or is actually (gasp) serious I need to pay attention. I just don't know when he is.

Your idea about them all being my spirit guides seems completely correct, they've all taken turns supporting or annoying me to no end. But now I'm left wondering why I ended up with a bunch of spirit guides at a young age instead of one or two when I'm older? My twin was in the exact situation and she hasn't told me anything about a guide, if anything she needs them more then me having to deal with learing she's an empath. Hm, Rem got quiet, she always does when I bring up this kind of stuff, she's even apologized several times over it. Doesn't make sense to me but I think I'm happier this way, I have indeed been through hell but I always had someone to pull, (or kick my ass) out of it.

I'm also getting a lot of laughter and I know that somethings being plotted, whenever your spirit guide is mentioned or anything to do with preperation or the future I get a lot of smirks. Seeing as to how no matter how much I whine no one's saying a thing I guess its just wait and see.

I also remember something from when I was still fairly young, the name Riesay. When I was little I put it togethor from a bunch of random words another guide helped me come up with, Holeca, really nice, complete nerd but he's good at motivating me to do my work. Yeah, thats how I came up with Riesay and its stuck ever since, I've had some guides surprised its not my real name because I'm so used to responding to it and using it. Since it was something I chose for myself I've always liked it more and it just seems to fit me better . Sorry if that was a bit off topic but I suddenly remembered and the nostalgia made me type!

By the way, your spirit guide seems very funny, she'd probably get along wonderfully with Rem.I can picture them discussing whatever they have planned for us and just having a ball over how clueless we are. According to Rem it is going to be wonderful for her to see my reaction when I realize what's coming. Of course thats all she's telling me.

 

Hello there zengizmo, no this is not Riesay, this is Remaura, I merely requested that Riesay type the message. I would like to thank you myself, I feel guilty for what has happened to our Riesay. A child should not have had to have to go through these issues alone or feel that sort of pain. Yes zengizmo I did have something to do with your meeting her but I was even more overjoyed then I felt I would be when I began to see just how much your advice has helped her. She needs some one that has had similar experiances to help her, to show her that her spirit guides can only help as I have tried to do. I...feel that for a while I was struggling being Riesay's primary guardion and I only want to help her. Having a friend on this end of the spectrum was just what she needed. I'm so very proud of how she has been able to overcome her fear of Van, as I have her type (she's rathor confused as to why I don't just tell you all this) myself and others have been working on a more, shall we say, permanent solution. Van appearing was a complete mistake, it should never have happened and again I am sorry, Van had no place acting with such brutality. Although I was supposed to see to nothing dangerouse happening to Riesay I failed. So, in conclusion zengizmo I must thank you for the role you are playing, and I do plan on being whatever help I can and seeing to it that you benifit as well. This post must also make it, because Riesay, making you type this out only makes my apology to you more sincere. You also never have appeared to be 'whiny' or needy Riesay.


>_< She made me zengizmo, sorry. Ignore the part where she apologizes to me, she never did anything wrong. And I still have no clue why she didn't just find a way to tell you herself...Maybe it's because she finds computers amusing? Oh well, she wanted me to tell you this so I didn't have a choice, sorry! Now she's just amused at me and I know if I don't click the submit button I'm going to suffer so here it goes...Although why she's not just telling you herself...