these questions… …how could you possibly realize that we’re not the perfect example of such term as “best friends”,which is represented to the reality and to people,so that people out there could understand the power of bondness and connectedness between two human beings who feel and deep in their souls, know that the love they feel is the strongest weapon against the dirtinest of anxiety which tries to come between them?!?… …when will you show me the final sign that i’ve been expecting for such a long time, a sign which is supposed to tell me whether we’re defined as “best friends”, “perfect soul for each other”, “ ideal entry for one’s true expectations and desires”, “end in sight which tells us that “this” is it” ?!?… …i guess you can’t realize all this ‘cos you don’t expect that from life which is ready to give you your ownself in another human being, from life which is ready to show you the path that leads to your perfect twin ,your only twin. i guess you simply can’t see that in us,’cos you obviously don’t want that “luxury” of having a time of your life with your soulmate, yeah it seems you don’t want that, ’cos it seems you’re afraid of yourself. it seems that’s just something i want you to want from me… …but you’ll grow up and you’ll find a way out from this web of adolescents and just maybe you’ll want all this from me as much as i want from you. so,if that’s the case,if you’re like ”i’m too careless to understand and too childish to dive into all this now”, if that stops you from surrendering your soul, then, i’ll just let it be. but in the meantime, i’m afraid of losing myself, i’m afrid of losing sanity… …now i know that the humanity has gone through all this shit in the past, now we both know, we’re both aware of the fact that we’re only misunderstood to each other… ..but why can’t we see the answer? the debate will last and last and last. why can’t it come to an end? why is it soo hard to make the final closure? ..maybe you know, ’cos i sure don’t, all i know is that i i have tons of versions of these questions…?!?… *just sth i wrote years ago,just thoughts in my head* marina
