The Ultimate "Make an absurd accusation about the poster above" thread!

Tried shoplifting once ... but found it was just too heavy for him

 

Was going to move to Legoland,but decided it's too built-up for her rustic tastes

 

Wanted to move to Luton ... but realised he wasn't classy enough

 

Too classy for her jeans.

 

believes the world is goin' ta end tomorrow

 

Made a 'things to do before the world ends' list.

So-she has a syringe full of heroin,a box of cigars and three bottle of vodka waiting....



......after which,she'll start on her list.

 

was being Santa at the mall this year when he got a ticket for parking his reindeer in a no parking zone

 

Got a temporary job for Christmas as a parking nazi at her local mall this year.......

 

Makes a really wicked feta cheese cocktail

 

Calls people up and asks if they have Prince Albert in a can

 

swims in her sleep

 

Sleeps while swimming.

 

Hates eating off plates

 

Steals chopsticks.

 

wonders why he can't use chopsticks to cut his steak

 

Is making a Tofu Turkey for Christmas dinner.

 

You'll know he's your Secret Santa by the sticky way he's wrapped "his package" for you.

 

Is really really hoping for a sticky 'Package' the Christmas ....

 

is after kidnapping santa

 

Sleeps upside down in order to demonstrate that gravity is strictly optional