Summary of the story so far in my head: A "serious nonsense" book following the story of a person. What person? Some person. This person (not a reflection of I, mind you, but a much more pessimistic and loathsome mirror of myself) enters an insane world that makes the person see what the world is like without others. The world is the afterlife for those who kill themselves, and as a punishment for not grabbing life by the horns, they either must adapt to the topsy-turvey world or go insane. Here is the first segment, the suicide. This segment is a very dark passage, and the book gets progressively light-hearted as it reads on, so here ya go. Much more will be revealed about the suicide in the final copy of The Red Folder Book. (a brief note: once again, don't worry. I created this dark, hate-filled character as a challenge to myself, and to see how far I could go with it. Most other characters are carefree and childlike, apart from the occasional Palachterian stoic character. Oh, and the odd sentence structure is because this passage is the character thinking to themself, and this is how they are thinking) ..........March 30, 11:58 I can do this. No I can't. I'm not stupid enough. Or brave enough. Only an idiot would kill themselves for a reason as petty as mine. .....I guess I'm an idiot, then. Fuck, I hate It. "It" is too horrible for me to refer to It by name anymore. .....Shit, the anger's coming back. .....Fuck! It's so arrogant, so ego-driven. Its subconcious can't survive without knowing Its importance. Why can't It realize that It is nothing? .....If It's nothing, then why are you doing this? .....You don't know why! You never knew why! This isn't about It, this is about the world! The world is hopeless, and there is no way to change it! My life has just dragged me through the dirt and rocks to this moment. .....If that's true, why are you thinking about It? .....It... how did that happen in the first place? It must've really hated me, It must've really hated Itself to do that. It is a monstrosity. To be so nonexistent, yet to be so much in Itself, to be so human, so cold... Does it know what true success really is? .....Like a machine It performs Its task, and Its task is to taunt me without contacting me. Those tiny glances kill small parts of my brain whenever I look up. And it makes me completely... .....Completely what? .....Completely human. Completely pain. Completely destruction. It made me into Hate in the purest form. ..........11:59 .....Do you truely loath yourself, or are you the world's greatest narcissist? .....I am Hate, and therefore, I am human. I am a human that sees humanity as it is. A destructive lightning army. I hate myself along with all of humanity. We are all cowards, and I will show the world this with this simplest of actions. .....What about your original plan? .....If there weren't so many going on right now I'd do that first. But I'll just look like one of them, doing it for all the wrong reasons. Unlike them, I hope nobody remembers my name. At least this won't be blamed nationally. I don't want anything I do to be blamed on anybody but myself. They, the media, the unknowing masses would blame it on the count, and he doesn't need that with the state he's in. They'd blame it on Anton, too, and he can't defend himself, and I wouldn't be able to, and I don't think anybody would. They'd blame it on Brian and Rob and Shauna, and they would do anything to make sure I didn't do it. And they're all going to blame me of things I never did. I was celebrating the world and worshipping Freyr. But they wouldn't see it that way. That's not what they want to see, they want to see a troubled delinquent that worships Satan because "bad" people told him he should. .....How dare they dash the gods of my ancestors. How dare they make the old gods into Satan, how dare they? My ancestors were good people, a hell of a lot better of those Christianising warlords. And now the descendents of those warlords controls the world, through the biased "unbiased" media. They make all of those mindless aardvarks believe what their predescessors wanted the world to believe. .....They'll blame this on everything except the real reason. .....They'll blame it on everything except themselves. .....You're almost finished, have you any final thoughts? .....Yes. They are the sum of all my life's global loathing, and I have come to the belief that It is the manifest of all my hate, of all my thoughts, and of all my life. And I couldn't change anything if I tried. I could never change anything. ..........12:00
The description of what the story will become is very intriguing. The passage about his suicidal thoughts are very dark as you said, but they seem pretty realistic. Are you going to continue? I'm excited.
