the lost identity

i feel like a million and a half pieces
broken, scattered and lost to the wind
i don't know who i am anymore
the people that i loved and had fun with
the places i've been and its experience
the things i have done that hurt you
punnished for letting my life tumble out of control
trying to run my addictions away
that's when i got trapped in the spaces between
stuck on a two-way interstate
keep on looking into the mirror of all things past
not being able to focus on this recovery
bc of this hole that screams bloody murder
i'm sucked into a whirlwind of it's intensity
i can't even breathe myself alive anymore
locked away behind a barren cage
and all i can focus upon are my convulsing hands
i want to be normal and human again
but this surveillance is what's killing me

 

push on through.

 

chameleon
​

changing constantly
wandering about
with nothing stable
about myself
no clear-cut identity
nothing stable
about my character

sometimes i feel like i lose myself
in other people
that i am only a copy of the others
pieces of others are in me

i no longer know how i should be

my image of myself
is only an imperfect illusion

sometimes i feel like i’ve been broken into pieces
that i’m trying to gather
to be complete again
not scattered all over the place

i put on various masks
sometimes i get tired of this game
i run away and never come back
when my masks are about to fall

​

 

good writing,keep up the good work

 

i wrote this poem while i was in rehab.
for doing drugs for a long time.
and then going a while without anything AT ALL.
it wrecks havoc on your body.
you feel lost, like you don't know who you are anymore.
it sucks, the worst feeling on the planet.
worse than depression, lol.