so just tonight, I realize how life is unfair. there as been a lot of signs before, but I think tonight was the summom of them all. All my life ive been wordering how a relationship should be going. Ive had girlfriend before, nothing too serious, but I think I was loving them, but not enough to fight for the relationship. so just tonight, I was with this georgeous girl, 5pi3, 105-110 pnds, really compatible personality, funny, beautiful, same interest. Its was all mine. we exchange "interested" txt messages for a week or so. so we are at this bar, and i am interest, maybe not expressing it, but its not that hard to tell a guy is interested I think. anyways, there is that guy we dont know that come dance with her, and its then I realize I lost all interest in fighting for a girl. and for a moment I rethink of all the last girls I felt something for, and it all comes to the same problematic : I dont want to fight. I even think I lost all respect for the women gender. I mean, I respect them as persons, but when it comes to personal relation, I really dont respect them , and it make me angry because I know its not right. when I know a girl is interested, even if I am interested I'll make anything in my power to make sure she stops been interested (unconcious) and if Im interest to a girl that isnt, i lost completly interest in her the moment I know she is not interested. tonight was a big revelation for me. I was suppose to bring that girl back to her place because she leaves far (45 mins from city center- I live 15 mins from city center, so 30 mins farter then my place) and as soon as that new guy came in, I completely lost interest and decided to live the bar, and just wish her good luck for her trip back. I mean, its mean, but as soon as that guy started flirting with her, I completely lost interest, and I know its not right. I cant say if its because of the failed relations or the fear of getting involve, but I really feel I will never be able to really love a women as much as she deserved to be loved. I also realize that, at one point of my life, I make the unconcious decision of becoming the hunted unstead of the hunter. since then I tried 1-2 times to be the hunter, didnt work. have you ever felt that way? what do you think cause that? how did you got out of that personal situation? I miss having a girl next to me when I go to sleep, but I dont feel the interest right now to fight for this to happen. I wish I was more of a fighter. I know I can do whatever I want, its just I dont want to and dont know why. the signs has been there for a while, id say 3 years. first there was that girl I was really in love with, but she was not confident about herself at all. I could have done anything I want with her at the time, but I used to respect her, so I didnt. I tried to help her build her confident, and I think it worked, because not long after I thought she was "completely" confident, she got a boyfriend, and I never talk to her ever again. couple of week ago, I met a girl, she gave me her number, I wrote her a txt message, she never answered. I was interested, but I decided not to fight and see why she didnt answer. I saw that girl tonight even if I was with that other girl I talk about before, and didnt feel nothing AT ALL. and as soon as that guy started flirting with the girl I was with (its kinda normal I guess in a bar) I lost interest in her immediately. seriously....what's wrong with me!!! plz help!!!
sorry if its long and not in a good english, english is my tirth language. and I am really on a worry mood right now...
i dont really relate, but im a chick, sooo maybe its a gender thing on a side note though, i think it was pretty shitty to leave someone who youd promised a ride to.
I should clarify 2-3 things, 1. itst not THAT much of a big thing the "not bringing her home thing" we live in a pretty secure city and its walking 45 mins, not a car ride....but its true I didn't feel like doing it, so I decided to live by myself, but I told her I was leaving... 2.about the hunter-hunted thing, I think of it more like...some ppl approach the person of the oposite sex they are attracted to, and some wait till the other person notice them...so I think im more in the second category 3. I though about it, and i think its because I fear of loosing "control" over the situation, so I just walk away. but I dont think its a good way of showing a grl you are interested..lol
