"That's Gay!": Offensive?

So I have a question for members of the gay community concerning diction. I often hear a lot of people use the term "that's gay" or "stop acting gay" when what they really mean to say is "that's stupid."
So my question is, if you overhear someone refer to something as "gay" when they actually mean stupid, lame, ridiculous, ect... do you find that offensive or is it just a word for you?

I wouldn't call myself gay but I am a bit bothered when I hear people use the word in that context since I kind of see it the same way as if someone were to say "that's black." I got into an argument about it this morning with a friend and just wanted to know where people who were actually gay stand on this. Thanks a lot!

 

not offensive.

its something people say all the time, i even say it.

 

The pejorative use of the word gay is just another social slight that negates the value of gay people. I'm a gay man among many other words that describe me, that slur takes away from me...my value. I'm not a fanatic about it, but hearing gay used as a substitute for worthless or disgusting does bother me. Depending on the circumstances I often call people out on that usage.

 

It's like the word 'fuck', when people say it they aren't using it as a replacement for shagging, they're just using it as a filler. When I say 'thats gay' I don't mean 'that is homosexual' and thus, in my head at least, there is no connection between the derrogative term and the definitive term. Although, that's just me.

 

Analogous to the N word I suppose, those in the club can say it too each other and do, those outside that group, depends on context.

But its funny how the hotter the straight guy, the more it hurts


And I have a little giggle to myself when its a short/petite straight guy or a butch straight girl says it. Or when a girly straight girl only starts up with that kind of talk when she's around a guy she wants to get drilled by

 

Given the fact that Queer youth in Canada face the number one highest suicide rate becuase of homophobia and transphobia, yes I do. Equating someones identity to stupid, bad and all things negative is not ok. There was a boy in Vancouver a few years ago who was 13 and jumped off a bridge and killed himself becuase he couldn't deal with all the homophobia he was facing. He wrote a letter to his mom before he did it and all it said was I want you to know and I want everyone to know I'm not gay. It was becuase of things like that's so gay which lead to more and more insults for this boy that a 13 year old took his own life.

 

That still doesn't make it right just because someone died for the cause. Homophobia isn't right, there's no debating that. We're debating whether or not that's gay is homophobic, which I say it isn't.

 

I think it's really fucking "gay" that almost half of us think there's nothing wrong with "that's gay". Sorry to get all militant, but it pisses me off beyond belief that anyone thinks this is okay, much less almost half of us.

It means equating gays with stupidity, lameness, wrongness, etc. It does, there can be no argument. It's got roots in high school or even younger, which I think we all know is a very homophobic environment. Where we need to make the argument that gay baiting/bashing is a problem for everyone, because kids today gay bait other kids that they know are straight. This phrase came up because it's understood to be the worst thing you can call someone. Yes, when you call someone an "asshole" or a "shithead" you don't mean literally, but it has impact and is understood by the person who hears it as unflattering. It's understood that when you say something or someone is "gay" in the context in question and everyone intuitively understands that it's bad, we have a fucking problem. A slang word doesn't work, doesn't catch on, unless it's meaning is self-evident. How anyone can say "that's gay" just sprang up without any context is quite beyond my understanding.

 

But saying that's lame is just as bad, as lame means physically disabled

 

Fantastic Post!!.....Couldn't Have Expressed It Better Mate...

Thank You!!..



Cheers Glen.

 

Thank you, GLEN. I rarely feel the need to slam my hands on the pulpit so strongly. I despise "that's gay" so much...

Kythlo, lame is a adjective that describes weakness, imparement, defectiveness, inadequacy, disability... The specific use to describe a crippled person who can't walk is common, but it's not the origin of the word, it's never not been used the way that I used it. The wider scope of other contexts to use "lame" in is not because crippled people are derided. "Gay" is used a couple of different ways, but it's clear that this newest, derogatory context is in reference to homosexuality, not happiness and frivolity. And not because gay always had this context.

 

I am 20, now. And it seems to be a word for people younger. I used it a lot as it was a VERY common word between everyone.
Maybe it had something to do with the poor being intolerant.

But now, I have two friends who have/had a lot of gay friends and that encouraged me to stop using the word out of respect. And I don't miss it.

Never hated gay people...

 

Who cares?
I'm gay and i still use the words "queer" & "faggy" to describe things i find too conformist and dull.
in the end, theyre not targetting offense at the gay community, but at whatever the adjective "gay" is being used to the describe.
I find people being so easily offended a sign of weakness.

 

that makes no sense. Queer and "Faggy" indicate that something is different from the norm. Why would you use them to describe conformist.

Anyway "thats gay" is as likely to offend as the n word is. It depends on company. Personally I don't appreciate the phrase and make it pretty obvious. And I am not sure if it is big anywhere else but "thats straight" is a pretty common phrase here atleast for thats good. not cool.

 

Galaskan's right, Gedio. Your use is offensive AND nonsense. As for saying it's "not targetting offense at the gay community, but at whatever the adjective "gay" is being used to the describe", that's completely ridiculous too, because "gay" couldn't mean whatever you're trying to describe for no reason, it's got to make sense or it is by definition nonsense. It makes sense to use "gay" to mean "stupid" only if you think gays are stupid. Duh. That's offensive, and you're being thick to not see it, and I can't imagine why.

I think not being offended by something just because everyone is doing it is a sign of... conformity.

 

Not being offended because offense is not being directed at you.
Or are you too plain to read between the lines and see where the sentiment of the sentence is being directed?
I use the words simply because it's what I've done whilst i've grown up.
Should I and many others change simply because some people think it's "politically incorrect".
Political correctness is bullshit and causes segregation.
Should the world change the way it thinks because some people might get offended?
No, because this is how humour works.
Either everything is ok to jioke about or nothing is.
Peace.

 

Are we supposed to be mind readers? Sometimes the only way we can tell if offense is being directed at us is if by listening to what they say. Gay = stupid is what they're saying. Lots of people who say it mean offense, I can tell because of their tone, the context, or just knowing them and that they're a great big phobe. Those who don't mean offense, they say it because they're not thinking about it and are going along with the crowd, and that's ignorant and conformist. So we should tell people what they're saying, and that saying that fucking sucks. We should forgive someone for saying it if they did it in ignorance and not offensiveness, but that's no reason to not care that it continues.

You ever hear the term "that's mighty white of you"? It's hard to imagine that anyone would argue that saying that being kind, respectful, considerate, and virtuous is a white person's quality is merely politically incorrect. Or that it's a joke. Or that it should be said even though it's being offensive, just because... I don't know, people who are being "uptight" should be offended?

 

I’m sure it’s been said, but we better all stop saying “that’s stupid, dumb, idiotic, moronic, childish, etc, etc, etc” too. Children and disabled people may find that offensive.

All I see in all of this is more of “I’m going to tell you what to do: don’t tell others what to do”. I have no desire to offend people but the way this situation has been handled lately has been overly pushy, which doesn’t help spread tolerance towards people. Asking not to be pushed around and then pushing others around can do the opposite. If anyone wants respect, they should try to gain it respectfully; not by winging and moaning about things you don't agree with.

Freedom of speech doesn't just apply to the people you happen to agree with.
Grow up.
The fact is if people were saying "that's retarded" then you honestly wouldn't care, and don't lie and say you would because it's something that gets thrown around a lot.
So long as the person or action being called gay is not actually homosexual then I fail to see how it is offensive towarsds the gay community.
People really need to stop being bitches and just chill the fuck out.

The issue comes from, IMHO, people who identify themselves as "gay" rather than just identifying themselves as people.
labels like gay straight white black disabled bisexual transgendered all just put basic human progression in fucking reverse. At the end of the day we're all just people. if someone said infront of you "that's so male" to something that probably had nothing to do with you, would you be as offended? No.
The gay community is FAR too defensive of itself.
And in the rare eventuality that someone IS meaning the term as an offense to you....so what? Either walk away or start a fight. DON'T come to an internet forum and complain about how much you hate it. If it bothers you that much kick the crap out of the next person who uses the term infront of you. If not, stop complaining

 

You're comparing a hell of a lot of apples to oranges. Freedom of speech is a very overused term that only refers to institutions banning speech, I wouldn't support for it to be illegal or punishable to say "that's so gay".

And identifying as gay in no way suggests that you don't identify as a person first and and that you're really divisive, clicquey, and prejudiced. If "Jew down" were as popular, and I was on a Jewish board, I'd say it's just as fucked that people are using that phrase. It's not being a bitch to say that it's wrong that any group of people are referred to as the definition of stupid. You're damn right that if everyone heard "that's so male" to describe stupidity every day, there'd be an uproar. Retarded does mean stupid, like "lame", it's an adjective first, later used as a noun. You're not even supposed to call mentally disabled people "retarded". When you say something is retarded, you mean it's the actual definition of retarded, which happens to be something that the mentally disabled were commonly called. This is why when you use "gay" to mean "stupid", it's inherently offensive. You're saying gay means stupid not because that's what it actually means, but in an ad hominem attack that alleges gays are stupid. To say something is "lame" directly relates to the weakness of the thing you're talking about, to say something is "retarded" directly relates to the cognitive soundness of what you're talking about, and saying something is "gay"... has nothing to do with any actual meaning of the word, it works by alleging the stupidity of gays.

 

IMO gay has never euated to stupid in the use of this term.
It's only ever been used in my recollection as a way to describe something overtly feminine. And for some social groups (lets' say chavs) something deviates from their social norm.
The other point is that your sor tof flogging a dead horse.
By telling people not to do things they automatically will.
The human mind is rebellious.
Want proof? Don't think of a red ball!
see my point?
If you feel so strongly present a logical case to the offending party.
saying you're offended comes from an emotional standpoint, and will likely be dismissed instantaneously.