stoner stories:

well im sure someone else has started something like this, but im new to the forums and really dont feel like looking through thousands of threads to find one.
anyway, you know how we speak english? and how theres like, other languages?
well, i got high the other day and i dont remember what i was watching, just something random probably, but i was listening to some chick talk. and i was really bored, but something happened. i forgot english! it was so sweet. i was still the same exact person, i just felt like i was hearing english for the first time. it was strange, but eventually i caught back on and whatever and it hasnt happend since.

 

and this one popped up too. i was eating these liquor filled candys and i started dropping them and my friend said "hey dude, your dropping your candys" or something like that. but i was so out of it enjoying my candies, so i didnt really hear what he said. and i was all doctor what? doctor what? doctor what? it was soo funny. i didnt even know what i was saying. all of a sudden i realized i was saying doctor what and he was just starring at me. omg dude, im laughing so hard right now. hip forums are the best.

 

ok, ive got another. i smoked a joint with my buddy josh. it was some really good stuff. it smelled so sweet, like berries or candy or something. anyways, we went to mike and clink's, these gutter punk's. you know, the guys who hop on trains and shit.
and we started drinking. well, me and josh, got super wasted and then left. so were high and drunk. it felt so good. but we were walking hecka far, and we heard a band playing so we crashed that shit! it was sweet cause it was the adult ass party and we were chillin smokin with these adults right? and then the band played some stp cover and we started headbanging and shit. i was just sitting on the couch, then this hot ass chick comes up to me and practically sits on my lap. so sweeeeet. but i just kept head banging. anyways, it got over and we started walking around again. we walked by this man made lake, which is really fucking gross. it has like cars and shit in it. and i threw my board over the little ass fence and it started rolling down the hill, i told my friend quick! quick! grab it, but he didnt do anything. so i jumped over real quick went full speed chasing after it. and ran strait into the pond of death. gay as fuck and i didnt even get my board back. pretty much one of my best nights exept the ending.

 

hmm, i can play super smash bros sooooo good when im high. that game has so much potential to get really really good. some games you can only get so good you know? anyways, i always pick captain falcon. hes hella good, cause hes so quick when he jumps and can dodge stuff way better than most guys. like mario. mario sucks. yea...
who do you guys pick?

 

kinda off topic but.... well i guess not. im high right now, that counts right? my cat is such a little slut. its out side in heat meowing all funny and shit. its kinda funny though. i think my cat can talk when shes reallly horny. 8D

 

about 6 months ago i smoked the most i ever smoked. we made a pipe out of a can. (ghetto as fuck) so it had a big ass bowl. out of me chris and josh, we smoked about 25 fat ass bowls of shake. it was so good, cause i kept getting higher and higher but i didnt feel like i needed to stop. idk about you, but thats all i could ever ask for with weed. anyways, we put in half baked and dude, you have no idea. i was "out of it" for the whole movie. i didnt remember a single part of it. not really a crazy story but it was the most i ever smoked. what about you!

 

haha, i love how enthusiastic you are, its cracking me up.
im blazed, btw.
woooooooooow.
i dunno where to start with stoner stories, i have an endless list of funny shit.
okay, so, one time, I was with a good friend of mine and we were chilling in Berlin (im on an exchange trip here for a year) and we smoked up everywhere we went (you can smoke in most cafes here, and on the streets too, except not in the tourist sites of course.). we got really blazed. then we realized she had to make her train. so we got on the subway, and took the wrong direction about five times, and got on the wrong lines, and all, cuz i was really stoned and thought it was funny to mess up, so i kept on not looking at where i was going, i would just see a subway and be like "quick! thats our train we need to make it!" and we'd make it in JUST before the doors closed. and then id laugh and shed be like "dylan! is thsi the wrong train, AGAIN?"
hahahaha!
and then we got off at the right stop finally, and went into a litlte supermarket thing in the subway, and got chocolate mousse/puddingish stuff, for like 30 cents! amazing! and then we left and opened them and were like "SHIT WE DONT HAVE SPOONS!" and then we ran into a bakery thinking theyd DEFINTELY have spoons, but they just had these litlte toothpick things. so we took them, and i convinced her theyd work.
we sat down, and ate the entire cocoalte mousses, and we were silent the whole time as we dabbed the toothpick things in the pudding, and licked off whatever stook to it. it took SO LONG, cuz we couldnt even get full bitesize spoonfulls of course! it was so ridiclously funny!

another...
it was the first beatufiul day of spring, and i was walking with my best friends thru town to the woods in the middle of it, to smoke up. i told them i felt like being naked, beacuise of how beuatiful the weather was. and they said "ha, go for it dylan." but i dont think they really thought i would...but, being Dylan like I am, I of COURSE got naked, and they all laughed and thought it was really funny, and then we sat down in this creek thing on rocks, but i was slighlty above them, so they could easily see my crotch, and it bothered them after a while, so i tried to hide it between my legs, but that didnt work, and after we got stoned, they couldnt stop somehow focusing on it, and i eventually listened to their asking, and got my boxers back on. but i felt over into the creek water as i was pulling htem on, and they got wet. and i was REALLY sad about it for a couple seconds. then i started laughed really hard, and got dressed and smoked more....

hahaha!

 

well one time i was trying to chill on hipforums and this really annoying dude, i think his name is like jesus christ or something. well he started annoying the shit out of me because he started a thread and posted 6 times in a row. wow, what a shitty time.

 

Haha awesome

 

heyyyyy dude you need to take a chill pill, or at least spend your time high somewhere else. haha, go off and discover new species in the rain forest

 

haha.. today i was high at ihop..
those were the best chicken fingers of my life!

 

once I swallowed a hit by accident, cause it was early in the morning, and I burped it up on my bus, like a fuckin cloud

 

i took a shit in the school gymnasium bathroom during a basketball game when i was high. as i recall it was diahrea.

 

the hershey squirts

 

omg dude, i got messed up today across the street at some dudes house, and hes got tons of amps and a drum set and everthing. it was so sick, i was playing bass with this wah pedal for like 4 hours straight. anyone know the main riff in "wake up" by rage? sounds so good with wah.

 

damn, i guess theres no argueing about how lame i am. thats some pretty rude shit i did, posting all in a row and whateva. sorry bout that.

 

once me and my comrades blew grapes on our way to Walnut Creek to check the little club jump off down there. we get out and walk the little strip and my boy Gen-A started trying to explain theorems and shit, real crazy mathmatical shit. we walk about a block and he starts feeling his arms and shit. i ask him what he's doing and he says "I feel... I feel like something's in my skin." we start laughing because he starts tweaking hard. he then says "It's feathers! I'm growing feathers! I'm turning into a duck... Stewie The Duck St. Claire!" he then started laughing and asked us to call him Stewie The Duck St. Claire for the rest of the night! his dance moves soley consisted of doing the bird that night. true story. oh, and we had some Punani Splash that night so it wasn't just tree we were on.

 

i have so many stoner stories.

a couple weeks ago i was blazing w/ all my guy friends, and after we were done me and my one friend jesse had the worst cotton mouth ever. we kept spitting on the ground and it was SO white, and every time we would spit we would laugh so hard at how white it was.

and one time me and my roommate was smoking on top of this pretty steel hill. after we were done, i walked down it and was waiting at the bottom for her. she was walking like inch by inch SO slow, it took her 15 minutes to get down it. i just stood there staring at her while she was like omg help me.. help me i can't do it.. and i just stared at her, and when she finally got to the bottom we just laughed.

and once my stoned friend tried smoking a cigarette out of his asshole. the cig got stuck in his butt cheeks and it burnt him. it was so funny but gross.

wow, now that i think of these stories.. they aren't even as funny as they were when we were high. oh well

 

"im growing feathers!" LOL

 

one of my favorites was when i was in madrid with my cousins. one mornging we took a train out to some old town (i forget the name), brought a fat sack and bought a bunch of beers. We knew the train was at 2, and another at 3, so I set my cellphone alarm for like 1:30 or something. were just chillin, smokin j's on top of this really nice lush green hill that overlooked the city, drinkin' beers. So, we're totally fucked up, just chilling out, when my cousin asks me what time it is, and I look at my cellphone, and it's like 2:50! I had set my alarm for AM, not PM! So we run as fast as we can to the train, just to see it pulling away.

We're stuck in this random ass town (none of us speak more than a little spanish), and the next train isn't till like 7 or 8 or something, so we just buy more beer and keep smoking and getting wasted. Of course, we get pretty fucked up, forget the train again, and end up drunk in the train station at like 10 at night or something. Eventually we got on the last train, at like almost midnight. Haha it took us like 10 hours to get on the train! and then my cousin threw up on the train, which was pretty much hilarious.