Spoiling our children

haha yea, sometimes I feel like giving Jack whatever he wants, whenever he wants it! I guess because even though I have him the same amount of time that his mother does, I dont get to see him for more than 3 hours each of the 3 1/2 days I have him, so I give him my undevided attention and tend to let him do what he wants. Is this bad? I dont know, I love him too much to say no! :&

 

Well, if he gets alot of toys, may he clean his mess himself. At least, start training him to . A bit of balance. I dont have a kid, but I feel like the most important thing is to make him participate in the choirs and let him know its a family but also, a team.

I was spoiled in every way and made me vulnerable and not ready for life haha.

 

haha I never got anything what I wanted as a kid, so maybe thats why I try to give him everything! :tongue: haha.
But his mom has all his toys, to be honest, and yea this is embarassing and kind of sad, but I only have 2 toys for him, a toy computer thing by Leap Frog (shudder) and a stuffed dog that I got when I was 2 at the hospital when I got sticthes.

 

Chores?! You mean, make my precious baby golden son child, do work!!?!?!?! But he's too cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yeah , chores

Haha you made my day man!

 

I cant make him do chores man, hes too freaking cute! And hes never bad, well not so bad that I smack him. He's always nice to me and well behaved now, and he plays with his two toys and he hugs me and we watch tv, and he watches me play guitar, and I give him snacks after dinner, and before dinner, and we have fun! No time for chores man. But will this make him grow up and be bad and do whatever he wants, and not listen to me? I dont know what to do, I know I should give him disciplins but I cant bring myself to do it. Im too nice maybe?

 

You are very nice.Just dont let him take advantage of that later ;p

one of the moms here could probably help ya

Great that you interact so much with him. Some parents theyd just watch tv and let son play alone on the rug. Just playing guitar for him, im sure it makes him smarter note by note!

(and smack is never good every way of the word!)

 

Thanks Antoine Your a good friend, and very smart for someone who doesnt have a baby yet
But yea, where's all the moms out? Hey moms, I need some guidance here! Please!!!!!! All the girls in my life are goofy and immature and think its cute to spoil my son, so I need some mature, proper advice here!!!

 

I dunno, sounds like you're doing all the right things. How old is he? I say just make sure he doesn't start to take advantage of you letting him do whatever he pleases as he gets older. I actually think you should get him more things to play with too. Maybe some art supplies and age appropriate non battery operated toys?

 

What kind of toys can I get him that fit that description? Like stuffed animals and crayons and markers? Or is that too girly for him? BTW he is 15 months old almost 16 months. Sorry Im freaking out I just suck at discipline and fun time, I am good at taking care of him when he is sick, or anything else normal, but play time and being the bad guy dad time, well I suck at those two! Im just afraid of him growing up and being spoiled

 

Just think of what kind of man you want him to be when he grows up. When a situation arises that calls for discipline, keep that ultimate goal in mind and try to act in a way that will help him grow into that kind of man. By the way, it sounds like you're doing just fine! There's no need to pull discipline out of your butt just because! There is a time and a place for it, when he needs it then give it to him. My mom was one to crack down on everything. She said no for no's sake, without any reasoning and none of us respect her much now. What kind of situations are you talking about anyhow? Maybe we can help you better if you give us some specifics!

 

As for toys, theres no need to buy him anything if you don't want. Got a few pots and pans he could bang on with a spoon? How about making a fort with some chairs and blankets? If you let him play with your stuff he'll be thrilled to his toes. My husband gets my 16 month old involved in his hobbies and Jimmy ADORES him! They pick locks together and "snorkel" together and go "caving". (DH gives baby a glow stick and they crawl around under the blankets.) Basically just get on your knees and think like a baby man! And you and your attention are the best toys of all!

 

www.lalecheleague.org has some excellent books about Loving Guidance, which is a Child Centered form of discipline. You may want to look at the books there and see if the library has them, or buy a few for yourself.

Stay away from Ezzo, Ferber, Tracey Hogg or anyone who wants babies to be "trained" like animals. LOVE is neccesary for good discipline.

You don't need a lot of toys, a few stuffed animals, some crayons, and paper, a lot of books (get them from the library) and household items are great for babies this age. Wood blocks are really great toys, and he will like them for years.

He's too young for "chores" although he can bring his little plate and cup into the kitchen when he is done eating and maybe help you with dusting ect. Babies this age really LIKE to "help" big people with their chores. My kids used to like to "do laundry" at this age. They would mess up the laundry more than actually help, but they could bring me their little socks and shirts and pants and dresses out of the laundry basket, and then bring their clean clothes into their rooms. Toddlers love to be helpful.

 

Thanks you guys! Im going to get him some coloring books tonight, and see how it goes And Im definitley making him a fort! And play ninja transformers with him :tongue: I'll let ya know how it goes!

 

i wouldn't worry about toys being gender specific. ms suggested wooden blocks, those are great! or big duplos by lego. some playdough would get his creative juices flowing. crayola makes a marker and paper system called "color wonder" the markers only draw on the special paper, no mess. pots and pans are also a good suggestion. maybe a stuffed animal or <gasp> a doll. and some good kids music...raffi, tom chapin, brian waite band.

 

Well if crayons, markers, paints and clays are girly, and stuffed animals too, I guess my boys are girly.

 

Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im just trying to be cautious! hahaha I know they arent really girly I was just being funny I like stuffed animals and Im a dad

 

I know, I know, I'm just messing with you.

 

I got to get some new photos of Jack (Rubitron is his transformer name ) so you guys can see how much he has grown. He looks so big and different now then my tiny baby a few months ago But he is getting cuter and cuter!

 

Yea, go for some crafts stuff. Kids love messing with building stuff. You can get a lot of stuff cheap to. They will spend an hour just glueing cotton balls on a paper towel tube.

You gotta watch letting them get away with anything. You need to retain some control for safeties sake. As with everything, balance is key.