Spiritual humor

I came across some good ones, I thought Id share with you all..



Four monks were meditating in a monastery. All of a sudden the prayer flag on the roof started flapping. The younger monk came out of his meditation and said: "Flag is flapping"
A more experienced monk said: "Wind is flapping"
A third monk who had been there for more than 20 years said: "Mind is flapping."
The fourth monk who was the eldest said, visibly annoyed: "Mouths are flapping!"

An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him: You can stay here but we have one important rule - all students observe Mouna or vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years. After practicing for 12 long years Yoga Asanas, Meditation, a lot of Karma Yoga, etc., the day came when the student could say his one thing or ask his one question.
He said: "The bed is too hard."
He kept going for another 12 years of hard Sadhana and austere discipline and got the opportunity to speak again. He said: "The food is not good."
Twelve more years of hard work and he got to speak again. Here are his words after 36 years of practice: "I quit."
His Guru quickly answered: "Good, all you have been doing anyway is complaining."

Q: Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa?

A: Because he didn't have any attachments.

Did you hear about the yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth. When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine. The yogi said "No. I can transcend dental medication."


Have you heard of the cow who attained liberation (Moksha)?
It was dyslexic and kept on repeating OOOOMMM !

What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Zen Pizza Parlor?
"Make me one with everything."

When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said "Don't I get change?" The proprietor said, "Change must come from within."

How do you make God laugh?
Tell him your plans.

A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard. He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it. So, he called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies, but no one seemed able to help him. In desperation, the good reverend called the mayor and asked what should be done. The mayor must have been having a bad day. "Why bother me?" he asked. "You're a clergyman. It's your job to bury the dead." The pastor lost his cool. "Yes," he snapped, "But I thought I should at least notify the next-of-kin."

A very wealthy man decided to prove the quote, "You can't take it with you", wrong. Before he died he requested that his gold be buried with him. Sure enough after his death he found himself in heaven along with his gold. He was so excited that he had actually taken it with him. He went up to St. Peter to enter the gates and exclaimed "Look at this, you can take it with you." Peter looked at the gold in the mans hand and asked "Why would you want to bring pavement with you?"

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's first name?"

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one, - how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow."

The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one," says Saint Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer is twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second....."

"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter, "Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forrest says, "Well shore, I know God's first name. Everbody probably knows it. It's Howard."

"Howard?" asks Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's 'Howard'?"

Forrest answers: "It's in the prayer."

"The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "which prayer?"

"The Lord's Prayer," responds Forrest: "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...."


I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes my advice is simple: When you find a fault don't dwell on it.

If you're looking for the key to the Universe I've got some good news and some bad news.

• The bad news: There is no key to the Universe.
• The good news: It was never locked.

 

hehehehe...thanks for that...some I've seen but some I haven't. I really needed the laugh. Thanks again Bhaskar.

 

Good "insider" humor.

 

I ran across the same webpage... three thumbs up!

 

haha! Here's this thread..I was so looking for it yesterday to share with my friend Christine and I couldn't find it...thank you GanjaPrince.

 

thank you for being you, I always enjoy reading your posts... I'm a fan

 

i love the zen pizza parlor one =))
it took me 2 seconds, but then had me laughhhhing =P
thanks os much

 

Aww..thankies...you're a sweetie...I love your posts too!