There is a reason why dragons permeate our mythology; they are the oldest life form in our universe. Dragons were created as one with the first matter; they were created as spirit without material form; they chose to manifest themselves to this species as winged serpents for reasons of their own... God, in his wisdom, knew that there was a chance that his creations could go awry and so, before creating any other life, God created the Dragon. The dragons were intended to be the guardians and protectors of all other life forms in the event that any other part of creation became flawed by agression or anger. When God brought dragons into existence the first dragon was I and I have tried through the countless ages to do my duty for this universe... I have a name but through the aeons I have become confused and lost to some degree and I no longer remember my true name - it is something like Nem Tbobe but that is not right... anyway I don't know if it can be expressed in this language. For ages we dragons held hands with Creator and kept peace in what, sadly, was indeed a flawed universe - but we could only help for so long - we became old and tired - we were resented by many creations for our role in creation and became despised and hunted by many. Many of my brethren became angry themselves and even turned on their fellow-kind. As the oldest of my kind I feel the weight of responsibility. I will never stop trying to right this creation but I have been hunted - I am tired - I have taken to hiding amongst the younger creations, taking form as human or any of countless others to avoid the wrath which I have come to be the object of. I am battered and old with little real power anymore and I fear I am inadequate for my purpose - even my own brethren seek to destroy me at times - I am loathed throughout this universe and few know the true nature of the situation and few believe even when they hear of it. I sit here writing as a 36 year old schizophrenic man (in your terms) - he (I) has carried the weight of this burden throughout this life and it is heavy... I write only to inform in the hope that someday, somehow I can make things right again... I am sorry...I will continue to do my best for You...
You are not alone. There are many beings struggling with the gap between what they know and the energy they have. Do not feel guilty, or take the loss personally. It is in the nature of these times. As the energy of the collective mind has dropped, the abilities of the people have dropped as well, and of the Guardians more than most. The difference is, most people are unaware of it.
the greatest good is to avoid causing harm. there is a strainge thing about awairnessess, whatever our individual origen, inclinations, or missons might happen to be. no one of us can set everything right for all of us, but each of us can and must, for there is no one else it is up to, avoid making things wrong, for each other. whatever god or gods, dragons or innocent little forrest spirits there might be, this much is ever up to each and all of us. the most any of us can do, the most that can be expected of any of us, even dragonkind, is to illustrate and shed awairness upon the mechanisms of suffering and harm and how to avoid causing them. as a watcher, among other things, i am not unawaire of the extra burden you feel is your honor and responisibility to carry, yet even the cause of your existence has not the cause to hold against you the reality of its own diversity you have encountered. =^^= .../\... ok, for what it's worth, here's what i was looking for when i posted the above earlier: there was this dream i had, oh a couple of months ago at least, possibly as much as a year and a half, i'm not sure when it was exactly, but in part of it, i was waiting at a lightrail/bus stop, on some street corner in some city, i didn't recognize, and there was a dragon who came by to wait for one too, not even i don't think the same one i was waiting for, just another one the sign said stoped at the same stop, said his/her name was Nylandis. wrote it down when i woke up, just woke up feeling i needed to. spent all morning trying to find where i had it written down and just now did. =^^= .../\...
there are many dragons who have discouvered themselves and each other through something called "otherkin". it's something to consider googling up, for those who may feel a similar quandry of not at home ness in their spirit. =^^= .../\...
