I know it sucks (ironically it is not THAT intelligent) but cut me some slack I wrote it in less than 5 minutes, it is more prose than poetry as it doesn't really have a rhytm. I look around the house in which I live in. It is an old farm house supplemented as it is by modern convenience; plumbing, gas, electricity, the works. Surrounded now by the stench of suburban living preforating through my very nostrals. I was not here a time ago when farmers farmed the land with not but the use of their backs, and surely I do not miss that time, for I am a suburban child. StillI wonder what the life of a farmer must be like? A different life than my own, a physical push to feed oneself. A much simpler, but not a lesser life, for the farmer supplies our very needs. The smell of animal dander and daffodils, not the smell of exhaust when the farmhand wakes up to everyday life. Where the corn once was is now a pool inground. We swim where the corn once was, until the roots of a tree stuck a hole into the paper thin lining of our pool. Now I can not swim thanks to natures battle with humanity. We try our hardest to cover up the past and the Earth but still nature will always fight back. Oh, I wish I could be on natures side, but sadly I was born a suburban child. What it must be like to appretiate the life the world takes on. My birth into this very world condemned my chances with the Earth, my essence into city life was bred. Look what wonders humanity has done, technological masterpieces everywhere, each of which I must have. For the brilliance of humanity is what I worship and not the raw staying power of naturalistic forces, and I shall forever remain this way for it is the narrowing path I have begun to walk.
I think this could be worked into something good. You have a lot of good material, but you need to spend some time with it to make it more interesting and read better, whether you turn it into a poem or keep it as prose.
