Some of these threads about possibly being "straight" depresses me.

Okay, let me explain what I mean. I've just been reading a lot of posts, and according to most here, love is fluid and has nothing to do with gender. Although I agree with this to a certain extent, it seems as if people are questioning their entire identity to maybe being "straight" because they found one guy who was not like all the other guys.

I only say this is "depressing" because it really makes me question myself, as well as homosexuality in general. I believe that it is nothing you can help, and there are times where I am confused on my own sexuality.

But, you just don't really here straight people questioning their sexuality much. It usually just gays who have always repressed the idea that they might be gay, that later come out or show their tendencies that they've been hiding.

However, with lesbianism/being gay it just seems that one who has already gone through coming out, and realizing they do not like the opposite gender, would not really back step that boundary.

Im not trying to sound rude at all by the way. It just makes me question if how some people say we are all "biologically straight" that this may be why some lesbians desire to go back with men, or to have families.

I myself have never gone for more than lusting after a guy in porn. Not even the guy, but the penis itself. Funny, because I don't picture myself as the girl in porn, but as the guy giving it to the girl although I am not transgender, but a very feminine female.

Does anyone get what I mean about how this could possibly be "discouraging"?
It's like I've asked myself and begged myself so long to not actually be a lesbian or bisexual or whatever I am, and then once I kind of come to terms with it, I see many lesbians almost "backing out" of realizing their orientation and saying they have met a guy that changed their idea.

It isn't that often that I see gay men retracting from their idea and finding a girl who suits their needs.
Do any lesbians think that sexual needs play into this, such as penetration, or what?

Anyway... Once again, didn't mean to be offensive, and i hope where you all can see what i mean.

 

I'd say most straight people who question their sexuality aren't vocal about it. They keep their self doubts over their sexuality a secret from everyone else. (especially men) It just seems that more gay people question their sexuality because they are "out", and therefore have nothing to hide, so it's easier for them to be open about it. There is definitely a number of self-professed "straight" people who question their sexuality, but never disclose that to anyone else.

There are a lot of ignorant straight men who believe that all women are lesbians because they have been treated badly by men in the past, and so go to women instead because they think they'll be treated better in a lesbian relationship. I can imagine then, as a lesbian, it would be very frustrating to find that some self identified "lesbians" confessing to lusting after men, or even wanting to go back to men. Even if it's just that "one guy" who made them go back.

I do agree that this seems to happen far more rarely with gay men. Though why that is, I really have no idea...

 

All of that makes a lot of sense. Yes, totally heard thats why lesbians are the way they are, because they are afraid of getting hurt by guys. I've also heard the famous, "If they like penetration why not get a guy" argument.

I really wish i knew the answer as to why more lesbians question their sexuality than gay men. I don't know if it has to do with penetration or what.
Like I said, pretty depressing nonetheless.

I don't know how many others feel this way, or even care

 

A lot of guys are just dumbasses, and like I say, think that all women secretly lust after men and women, regardless of if they openly identify as lesbian, or heterosexual. Believing this, is just a male fantasy, but I think this is the core reason why some men hold this belief. Not least, because the guys who I have heard saying that, say it applies to women only, not men.

As for why it seems that more lesbians question their sexuality than gay men... I'm really not sure. I think there's a few theories for why this is the case. You mentioned penetration, and I think that is definitely one of the reasons. I think maybe partly or even wholly because of the attitudes I described above, maybe some lesbians think "well, if I like the feeling of penetration, then I guess that must mean I still want men". And some men definitely do think this. However, I don't see why liking penetration has to automatically mean that you lust after men. Just because you like penetration, doesn't have to mean that you want a man to be doing the penetrating.

I think another reason could be, that generally, gay men have to walk a much harder road to be fully out and living completely as a gay man, than gay women have to. In other words, maybe most gay men have to do a lot more soul searching and self analysing before they come out, which means when they do eventually come out, they have no need to question themselves, as they already spent a long time doing that before they came out. Maybe because it's generally easier for women to come out, they do so too quickly, and therefore, can be more unsure of themselves when they are out, than the average gay man.

 

I agree. I was actually backwards, I thought I was a lesbian until I grew up and realized that I'm not gay straight or bi....I am just me and I love who I love I can truely find beauty in both sexes and I have even had sex with a transgendered person and I must say it was the best sex I have ever had because I had the best of both worlds. Why can't love be a sexual orientation?