So, you want to join a commune?

I've been posting and ranting in here for quite a while. I tend to overreact to the way some people ask for or about things regarding joining a commune or such place.

So I decided I would post my general overall view of this all at once.

First off, the property is the property of whomever (however many that may be) paid for it. Unless you have enough money to buy an equal share (10's of thousands of dollars minimum), or you expect to work a lot of hours beyond what everyone else does to maintain and build it, you should not really be expecting to gain ownership in it.

The owner(s) may say, I(we) am offering to share what I have with you, but in no way should anyone ever assume that means you are gaining ownership in it.

I think what it comes down to for me, is if you can afford to buy a place, then you go do so, and do what you want and offer whatever you feel like.

If you can't afford to, for whatever reason, from not wanting to be a part of Babylon, to wanting to hide in the bush, to wanting a place to find your center, then you go and check out any of the many many place that are around the world.

If you find a place where you fit in, and things go well, why would you ever worry about how permanent it is? If things are going well, why would anyone want you to leave? To think that maybe the owner will use you for labour and kick you out when it is 'finished' is ignoring the nature of living in this manner... It is never finished.

Just an exception to that... there are some people who have been offering things like a place to stay and food to eat in exchange for work on their commercial operations. Personally, if I was looking for a place to go, I would avoid getting attached to a place like that, until you are sure that the commercial operation is in support of the commune/hostel/whatever, and not the other way around.

As to finding that place to find out if you fit in.

In this forum alone, there are dozen's of people who offer to open their homes to you. Some are single people who would love to have someone around to talk to and share in the workload as well as the benefits. Some are couples or small families, a few are intentional groups that formed.

You can also check at;
http://www.ic.org/
and
http://www.wwoof.org/

It shouldn't matter how many people are there at any moment in time, as to if you decide to go. If you go, there will be one more. People can come and go as they please, so its quite possible that the place that has 30 people today, may have 2 tomorrow, and vice-versa.

Make sure your general choices in life are compatible with those that are there. If you are a strict vegan and the thought of even being around meat freaks you out, don't go to one that doesn't have those restrictions and 'preach' about it... The opposite holds true... if you eat meat and refuse to not eat it, don't go somewhere that they are against it.

Notice I was talking about absolutes there. If you are vegan but don't care if other people aren't, and don't mind the idea of animals being raised (or hunted to eat), then don't feel shy about going where they do. Differing ideas make for the best conversations.

Consider factors such as climate when you choose. At a quick glance, a year round warm climate may seem preferable to one with a harsh winter, but keep in mind that while those with the harsh winter are sitting around inside a warm house chilling out and relaxing for the winter, those in the warm climate are still working everyday. The reverse also holds true... the winter break may seem nice, but it does mean you work harder during the warmer months.

Remember, no choice is permanent...

Find a place that's close to you to start with that seems even vaguely close to what you want. See if you can go visit for a few days.

Expect to work while you are there doing whatever they are doing. That means they are working all day trying to build a shed (as an example) don't think you will work for two hours and then sit and watch.

Be honest and up front about who you are and any 'quirks' you may have... If you like to sleep til noon, but work late at night (for whatever reason), it is better to say so up front so a compatible plan can be worked out (if it can't, its best not to go there).

If you have allergies or other special requirements, say so, don't just expect others to know or to have alternatives (for example dairy allergies).

Don't approach these as, I am allergic to dairy, so you will have to get goats for me... approach it as, I'm allergic to dairy, would it be okay if I could find some goats which don't bother me?

No matter what your impression of someone online (or through the mail or over the telephone) may be, you will only know if you get along with them and their lifestyle (whatever that may be), by going and spending time there.

If the first couple of days go well, discuss staying longer... keep something in mind though... You spending a couple of days, will likely cause more chaos then it helps. The plan should be for you to stay at least a few weeks (assuming it goes well) minimum. If you don't understand why, think about what would happen if you had 100 people come visit for 2 days at a time, vs 2 people coming for 100 days. Which would get more accomplished (assuming large group projects weren't being done.

There are exceptions to that of course... most place plan out projects in advance and can tell you when a good weekend to come would be to help out building or planting or harvesting or whatever. In which case, having 10 people all show up for a weekend could be perfect, but what would be even better is if one or two of them stayed around.

Illegal activities...

Assume they are not allowed. This includes things that you feel shouldn't be illegal. This isn't to say that will always be true. A lot of place are pretty free about things like smoking pot (depending on the country of course) for example, but don't assume that means you can come and start a pot garden. Also, don't expect to ask or talk about it in any type of specifics online, even in private messages or emails... That's just plain silly....

Interaction with locals

Make sure you know what the other's think of the locals... Imagine what would happen if you were out and met someone that you thought was cool and brought them back (or invited them to visit) only to find out that you just happened to choose the sworn blood enemy of someone there... It wouldn't lead to good things.

Some places may be involved with the local community and attend local farmers markets and such, others may shun the 'outside world' and keep to themselves (watch out for any that try to block your interaction with the outside world in general though!)


Pet's (and visitors for you)...

No, I am not being an asshole by comparing visitors to pets... If you are going to visit for a few days, or even a week or two... don't expect to be able to bring pets with you, or to invite others to visit you while there. You may be able to, just don't assume it, or get upset if you can't.

If you stay around for any length of time, of course this will change, but for short term visits, both outside pets and visitors should be avoided. No sense in causing extra chaos.

Accommodations

Most places will have a guest room, bed, or couch you can crash on for a few days (although its possible that it could have someone there before you). If you have plans of staying any length of time though, consider whether or not there is somewhere you could pitch a tent (in warm weather) or build a small shelter (yurt), etc... If things go well and you want to stay around, most places (with the room) will let you build your 'own' place to live in, but don't assume this means you own it. If you can pack it up and take it with you if you leave, it's yours... if you can't, then it's yours until (if) you leave.

Reality

You will find that most anyone who has actually been living in the country and doing gardens, raising animals and such, is usually pretty grounded in reality and may have little patience for flights of fancy in the midst of work. In other words, stopping in the middle of digging a hole to discuss how nice it would be to build a machine to do it could be considered bad timing... when sitting around a fire (or table) later, would likely get a better response. Things like whining about cutting trees down, while sitting in a house warmed by wood heat would also be considered bad form, although discussing alternatives that could be set up with stuff available when there is time could be good...

I'm sure theres more you should know, read through the threads in the forum here. Even a bad thread can have a useful bit of info (or maybe just a good laugh!)

Oh yeah, and this is elsewhere (because I know I posted it before), but keep this in mind.

Go get a couple of cheap pay as you go cell phones... Hide one of them away in your stuff and never let anyone know you have it, keep the other as your 'normal' phone (or back up). When you get to a new place, consider hiding the secret one away from your stuff. Even with no time on a pay as you go phone, you can call emergency numbers, it could save your life.

And always make sure friends or family know where you are going and when you are going to contact them.

Just keep one main thing in mind. When you go to these places, you are going as a guest in someone's home, regardless of the number of people already there, show some respect.

 

I am really impressed, i thought you did a very good job and i deffinitly learned alot! Thanks!

 

very informative ty

 

Apparently I was in a thorough type mood the day I wrote this... I thought of a couple of things I should add to this, but discovered I already put them in the first post... lol

 

well done mon.

unfortunatly, i have to assume theres a good businees in getting wayward hippies in to deep.constant vigilance will be needed.
hmm paranoid while keeping an open mind,, this is gonna be fun

 

...

What?

 

Just an exception to that... there are some people who have been offering things like a place to stay and food to eat in exchange for work on their commercial operations. Personally, if I was looking for a place to go, I would avoid getting attached to a place like that, until you are sure that the commercial operation is in support of the commune/hostel/whatever, and not the other way around.


Go get a couple of cheap pay as you go cell phones... Hide one of them away in your stuff and never let anyone know you have it, keep the other as your 'normal' phone (or back up). When you get to a new place, consider hiding the secret one away from your stuff. Even with no time on a pay as you go phone, you can call emergency numbers, it could save your life.

And always make sure friends or family know where you are going and when you are going to contact them.

this, is good to think about

 

very good ct

I like it!!


very helpful to those looking for one I am sure.

: )

 

This is all very good advice. I'm working on starting a commune in my town, still working on the details. I should have everyone read this.

 

No, you cannot force a horse to drink, but you help it be providing an option. I think that "someone" you speak of also recognizes your exceptional communication skills. Do not downplay that skill Tom, it is a valuable commodity to have.

Yep. BTDT. Sometimes they just need somewhere to go, something to do, to put them in a more productive frame of mind. It is like a vacation where you work. The mental block they have is far easier to remove by changing the scene, changing the labor, changing the mental chores to face. I do not think that it is really a "vacation", but a break.

I am so used to having to do things on my own that I have become accustomed to recognizing this in myself when it happens, and then I shift mental gears and start looking at what the options are. Some people do not look at it that way when they are there, but then they have not been dealing with hardship their entire lives, either. I have.

Sometimes I give thought to writing my entire "operations plan" up and selling it. But then I would be no better than the preditors that put people in those spots.

"Then" what? I think you skiped a part. But the first part does sound like a heck of a good idea. I just might take you up on that someday, myself.

Well, Tom it behooves all of us to offer a hand up to our brethern when they are downtrodden. It is not hard really. Right now I am living on income that is below poverty level standards. But I still reach out and help. It is not money, it is sometimes there mere acknowledgement that someone cares enough to help.

Apparently. And there is nothing wrong with that.

 

Not sure what type of response you expect from any of that logan...

You seem to be trying really hard to not tell me that I am wrong.

Your first two paragraphs... Are you trying to suggest that if I were to try to 'sell' the idea a bit more, I could convince some that currently aren't sure if they want to come, that they should?

If so... you seem to have misinterpreted what I said... I didn't say, I wasn't sure if I wanted to convince people... I didn't say, I didn't feel right about it... I said, (and I'll put it on a separate line and capitalize it to emphasis its importance...)

IF I HAVE TO CONVINCE SOMEONE... THEN I DON'T WANT THEM.

I don't give a shit WHY someone may need convincing... I am NOT going to do it...

The missing part after the 'then' has been finished, thanks for pointing that out.

As for the whole,

Your issue here seems to be that you misunderstand the difference between a hand up and a hand out...

A hand up, is me saying, you need a place to build your life... You can do it here...

A hand out is me convincing you that this is a better idea then whatever it is that you are doing...

If a person doesn't have (for ANY reason) the desire, willpower, follow through, or whatever you want to call it, to come here on their own without convincing.... WHY WOULD I WANT THEM HERE?

Put yourself into the future, after I have convinced someone to come here... How long is it going to be before I hear... "Oh well I didnt really want to come here in the first place?" You think I'm cranky about shit now??

Imagine the reaction I am going to have, when someone pulls that one out....

Here's my suggestion to you... If you feel you have a better handle on what is needed and what should be done...

GO DO IT

Me... the person making the offer... is quite happy doing it this way...

 

Why is it such a hard thing to understand that I am not looking for followers or employees or slaves or anything other then actual individuals that can think on their own?

When I wake up in the morning, I don't want to have to start thinking about what I need to tell you to do... Hell I dont even want to think about what I need to do... After I wake up and get mobile... I will go find something that needs to be done and do it... and I expect the same of others.

I want to be able to get up and do my things without wondering if I should wake up someone else because they haven't done anything in days...

Just look through the various threads I have posted here... and you tell me, how long a weak willed follower is going to last here...

 

Not at all Tom. I'm sorry you see it that way.

It's not your responsibility to convince anyone anything. But if someone already wants to go "somewhere", and they find out you or others have a place like I understand yours to be, then that is, I feel, giving them an opportunity to decide for themselves. IMO.

I know the difference. It is a big one.

Well, then keep doing it that way! I won't do something like that, at the scale you are, because my interests really are elsewhere and they are not compatible. OTOH I may come out that way for a few week ot maybe a month. Who knows. Only if I am welcome there, of course.

 

They have been given that opportunity the moment they read what I offer...

And THAT is the point I am trying to get across here... If someone reads the various things I post and thinks they would get along, great, come out and meet us and we'll go from there...

If they read it and think, oh it sounds good but I'm (insert anything you want here) and want them to re-assure me that everything will be great... They (IMO) are just looking for another chance to fail and blame someone else...

EVERYONE, even those that I have told to fuck off and die, are welcome to come visit in person...

I should point out though, that if the reason I told them that was because of an opinion they expressed, and they repeat that opinion to my face, I will likley (depending on what its over, such as child or animal abuse) demonstrate my feelings in a very direct, very unmistakable way...

 

Come on Tom. Don't give me that. You're just so full of all this love and warmth and caring.... so when you start talking about these negative waves, I just don't beleive you. :sunny:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCQ0vDAbF7s"]YouTube - R.E.M. - Shiny Happy People (Video)

:rofl:

 

Believe what you wish...

 

Rocking on, have a meeting with a dude on Friday to talk about starting a commune in my town. Woot woot!

 

Here, let me share some positive waves with you, Brother Tom! :sunny:

 

Logan 5, those waves affected me, too! We're ON!!!!!!!!! Commune in Missouri!!!!!!!!!!