Slapped in the brain...(trip report)

Alright, I am constantly seeing a lot of good trip reports around here, but haven't really seen much bad ones, so for the benefit of fellow trippers (and for my own closure) I'm gonna report about my mini-hell last night.

Alright, so I was planning on eating 1.5 grams about 30 minutes before seeing Beethoven's 9th Symphony. However, my friend was up for the evening and we did not realize that we were gonna have to drive 4 hours round trip to see it. Since he was visiting I decided it would be best to stay at home and just eat them in my friend's apartment.

My friend has never done a psychedelic drug, and I (and he) thought this would be a great chance for him to see somebody tripping to kind of get warmed up to the idea. I was also going to synchronize eating the mushrooms with my friend that was going to Symphony.

So at 7:15 I eat the shrooms and am anxiously awaiting for the trip to happen. About 30 minutes later, I'm starting to get small visuals and tracers, but nothing too intense. About an hour into the trip I'm now starting to laugh to myself and am feeling pretty happy and jittery. But I look around and see nobody else is really laughing. I write it off as "Oh I'm just tripping a bit, nothing to worry about" but then I realize we're watching a pretty funny show (Arrested Development) and that they should be laughing. I look at my other friends in my peripherals and the visuals start playing tricks on my eyes and mind. Nothing too intense, but it looked and felt like my friends were all jeering at me, and when I looked at my one friend straight on, he seemed to have an almost demented smile on his face.

All of this started to kind of scare me, but in the back of my mind, I kept telling myself, "don't worry, it's only mushrooms, you're doing fine and will be doing better in a few minutes." I went up to the bathroom to get away for a second. This calmed me down a bit and my slight paranoia was getting washed away a little bit by the brief joy of being alone for a couple minutes. This even increased when I went in the bathroom and the floor was soaking wet! I laughed hysterically wondering why the floor was so wet, and thought I was in a good enough mood to return to my friends.

I come back downstairs to find that only 2 of the 4 people that were around earlier. The others had gotten food and were coming back shortly to chill again. This is when the paranoia really started hitting me. I thought my remaining friends were playing tricks on me or just fucking with me. It seemed like I was entering in conversations, and then they would quickly change the subject right when I was understanding the subject of conversation. One of my friends returned and I was just about ready to get out of there. I decided to make one last ditch effort to hang out with my friends and asked if anybody wanted to jam, one friend in particular. He said "I don't think I'd be any use right now, especially around you." Of course he meant this in the best possible way, but I that he was being sarcastic and just screwing with me. At about 1 and 1/2 hours into it I realized I had to leave and go to my room by myself.

I apologized profusely to my friends and they seemed to be mocking me and saying "oh no man we know what it's like to be tripping, go be by yourself." Paranoia rushed over me and I quickly ran to my apartment (only a couple doors down) and bolted upstairs to the comfort and solitude of my room. At first a huge feeling of relief swept over me and I felt like I was just in my own little world in my room with so many things to do. I first turned on some music and started to dance to get rid of the paranoia I felt, this worked for a while, but then I remembered a call I got from my little sister a while ago saying she's going to spend the night at my apartment. Fear overwhelmed my mind, I began to second-guess what I had done; "why the hell did I go back to my apartment, what if my sister and her friend try to come in my room, what will they think, if I'm nowhere to be found when they arrive?" All these thoughts raced through my brain repeatedly, and then I came to a comforting realization; why do I need to care? I'm an adult and I don't need to explain myself to anybody, if they don't like it, screw them! I then felt more comfortable, and started to listen to some music.

I turned off the lights and put on some headphones and tried to lay down and just relax my uneasy mind. The music and darkness quickly turned from comforting to frightening. I didn't choose the happiest music, which I regretted, and was starting to question reality and myself even, who was I? Why was I taking these drugs to make me feel different? Wasn't reality fine the way it was before? Then I remembered that I was just tripping on mushrooms and I looked at the clock to see that it was only 9 o'clock. I was worried that things were going to get much worse before they got any better and I was now terrified of being alone. I realized I had made a huge mistake leaving my friends' apartment and quickly got my jacket on and started searching for my shoes. This was a strange feeling because amidst the chaos going on in my head, I was amused that I couldn't find my shoes. I was laughing and being terrified at the same time. I remembered about 2 minutes later that I left my shoes at my friends' apartment and started laughing even more, all the while, I felt some of the worst fear in my life.

I ran back to my friends' apartment and found it empty. I called out, in a humorous manner to persuade my friends, and in a way, my own mind, that I was perfectly fine. I hear a familiar voice downstairs and run down and fine my friend on the computer hanging out. I was so overcome with joy to see my friend, and told him what was going on, that I was on the verge of having a terrible time, and that I just need to talk to somebody. He was amazing, and that's when I started having a better time. He said we should watch some jazz so we could both reminisce about our first trip and that convinced me that he was definitely on my side. I was now certain I was in good company for the first time all night. I did interrupt him while he was talking to his girlfriend though, so he went downstairst to wrap that up quickly. We watched the DVD and laughed and smoked some weed, and then all my other friends came back and I was so relieved to see them and so happy to know what real laughter felt like again.

I feel like my trip ended right when my other friend got back from the concert. He had a great time, and was astonished to hear about how bad a time I had. I assured him that I was in no way turned off to tripping again, and knew that the only reason I had a bad time was because I just felt like nobody understood what I was going through. It was definitely a crazy night and I am very happy for the experience. I learned that I cannot underestimate even a small amount of psychedelics, these things are for real, I can't just go around thinking of myself as invincible. One of the worst, but most helpful trips I've had to date. I hope this was educational to somebody!

 

Good write up, and yeh going into a trip thinking your invincible will usually just turn you inside out ...

At least you gained somthing from the whole experiance, and i also laughed when you said you found it comical that you were over come with fear and still looking for your shoes .. lmao, marvelous ..

 

Geez that sounds like alot of shit but it happens once in a while. Live and learn.

 

Maybe a day trip alone in a forest would be good, before it gets too cold!

And btw arrested development is the BEST fucking show ever! omg

 

This pretty much sums up why I don't like tripping around sober people...

Glad it all worked out okay in the end though.

 

yep... i usually just end up feeling inappropriate and out of tune.

nice report though... glad to hear it ended well. a chill friend can really be the difference.

 

Let this be a lesson to you all: if you ever see anyone having a bad trip, help 'em out. It will mean the world.