serious relationship issue!! help!!

hey! about a week or so ago I went onto my computer and checked facebook. I clicked the link for email and realised "hang on a sec this isnt mine?!?" - my girlfriend was still logged in as hers which i only realised when seeing names i didnt recognise in the inbox.
i was just about to hit the logout button when one email caught my eye by some lad I have no idea who he is from her uni. i did the cardnial sin and curiosity got the better of me clicking it to find the ENTIRE previous thread had been deleted. hmmm. okay, 'show deleted thread'. this guy had seen her out in town dressed up, somehow added her and was now emailing her to say how cool he thinks her fancy dress is.
right, and she is replying. nothing too serious but tbh it made me a lil worried.
I got talking to her (not about this exactly) but in general about how she felt about me, and if she was talking to, emailing, texting anyone else as i was feeling a little insecure - "No" - she even showed me her inbox which to nobodies surprise had no email from this guy in anymore.
I'm now in a situation where I feel so paranoid I keep checking (as i foud out her password) and there have been a few more emails where he now calls her babe, puts xxxx at the end of the email and is really flirting with her.
to give her credit she doesnt reply in the same way, but nonetheless still replies and he's always asking "am i going to see you out this wednesday/thursday/friday etc. then?"
what do i do? I cant surely confront her as I've been checking her emails and its kind of breaking the rules - id be pissed off if i found out shed been checking mine. but i dont want it to continue. or i want her somehow to get caught out by me in a legitimate way. but i also dont want it to get worse. he's constantly calling her babe and baby which makes me want to screw my fist into his face, and hu knos where it will lead to given another week/2 weeks etc etc!!
please help, what can i do in this situation its driving me mad but i cant do anything about it without her knowing i've been snooping.
in all honesty i wish id never seen it as its now driving me mad, but i genuinely thought i was logged in as me so it wasn't like i initially intentionally went out to check her emails.
please help!

 

yeeaaah if I were you, I'd consider that a problem. I'd get rid of him one of two ways.. the usual way, OR you could get onto his facebook and send that girl a really perverted/offensive message

 

Woah buddy that sounds like the "wish i hadnt found out" story... You know his facebook, find his phone number, address, email, etc etc.... then go kick his ass. or become his friend, invite him over, bask in the awkwardness, THEN kick his ass.

or just ignore the shit and rock your lady's socks off tonight.

pussy cant be stolen.

 

because you thought you were in your login, i would sit down with her and have a talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel. Yes i understand how you feel , but how is it helping you ? If she may be lying behind your back? is it helping her no? right? Do 2 wrongs makes right? Make it clear you had no intention to be in her accnt you thought you were in yours and what is he doing calling her baby ?? How did she end up meeting up with him. Etc....

Good luck!!

 

Dude I know nobody likes hearing bad new..but the truth of the matter is that a fight is going to come about sooner or later.....Trust me I have been in your situation (LOL) very recently, its a rather very long story, I've been married for 2 with for 7+, we recently split up and now back together blah blah blah........Look you stumbled on her shit WITHOUT malicious intent.....As any guy or girl's curiosity is way stronger than any one person's will to look past it.......You are going to have to tell her that she accidentally left her email open and you saw an email from another guy that upsets you.....if you talk rationally about it then it is something that can be worked out...if the roles were reversed she would absolutely be pissed....confront her with compassion and how much you care about your relationship and she "should" be the same way in return..and what is in your favor is that she has not replied in the same tone as the dueche bag......your mind will not let it go until you have hashed it out one way or another.....your in control here dont be a dueche yourself and fly off the handle and make it worse than it already is, b/c if she does care about you she will be more careful of leaving email up in the first place, and she will say that she is going to tell him to leave her alone (or something along those lines).

hope that helps you

 

i think it may be a litl too late to confront now as its been a good couple of weeks! im back from uni things seem 2 b goin fine - went out the other nite with her, saw him, both acted as if neither existed....hmm??
okay so anyway today i (stupidly) check again thinking "things are going fine now surely not.......fucks sake!!" - another set of emails.
fine apart from usual minor flirtyness - nothing too much 2 worry about, however the thing that concerned me was she mentioned she was goin 2 centre parcs and egypt - he asked if she was goin with the 'bf' to centre parcs and she sed no with her friend (which is true) and egypt later on - ummm hello ur going with me to egypt ffs?? no mention of me there.
best part is he says hes goin 2 LA for 5 weeks this summer to glendale. right thats fine except the fact MY DAD LIVES IN PASADENA - a 10 min drive from glendale, shes been there twice with me, AND I'm going there this summer for two weeks!!! does she mention ANY of that? of course not. she says 'I've been to pasadena before' and 'you have to go to 21 choices and forever21' - seriously wtf?
the only reason shes ever been ther is cuz of me! rlly fucked off an its now too late to bring it up. i NEED to sumhow catch her out tho cuz im not guna lie, after a 3 year relationship ud think u mite mention one of the above??
rlly feelin quite hurt bout this an its guna b quite hard goin round hers in 30mins pretendin as if I aint and bein all kissy huggy etc etc!!!

 

well. I can help alittle. Say your sick and stay in or your going out with some friends and go to where she is at with him or meeting him. She will be shocked but, you have caught her. So she will have to explain this one. See how she introduces you(BF or friend). Think along that line. Mine he would always tell me to go out and have fun with my friends, and he would leave to go see someone else. So Trust me if you want more let me know. I can help. Hope it works out for you.

 

If She's Not Replying The Same Way With xxx And The Like, What Are You Worried About? No Offense, But Sounds Like You're Insecure With A Few Trust Issues.

 

Hire a hitman. No questions asked.

 

hah well i aint too worried jus yet bout her meetin him, they all jus broke up from uni an he lives ages away so i dnt think thats a problem. mayb next yr wen we start again. tho the emails did get worse and he rlly went for it wen she sed she gets lonely sometimes he sed she cud cum round his an he'll 'put a soppy movie on an get sum popcorn' blah blah blah to which she replied 'that sounds good then!' and continued to flirt.
the reason i may be so insecure is we're goin thru a rough patch rite now and shes always tellin me i need to make more effort as she could 'dump me like "that"' at the click of her fingers - it all snds so stupid i duno y im still wiv her if she says that and does all this behind my back but i think part of the reason shes doin it is cuz i may b pushin her away an not makin enuf effort??
i think wat shes afta is the 'excitement' of wen u first meet sum1 which in a 3 yr relationship is impossible to get back, an wen i tell her shes gorgeous etc it isnt the same as sum random guy sayin it or emailin her flirtin - im not guna lie ive dun similar things b4 tho i did eventually show her all the emails and didnt delete them all like shes doin!!
cheers for the help, think i may mention the emails i saw earlier (an not the even worse ones last nite) as i can still pass it off as an accident (wich it was) an hope she gets the point!!

 

The excitement is never impossible to get back unless your lazy.

 

I don't really see why it would be strange to keep in touch with friends from University. I still see some of my old study mates for a casual lunch or coffee somewhere, even though it is many years since we finished uni. Some of them are guys too. And I am in a great relationship with a guy I absolutely love to death. Even if he seems to have the hots for her, it doesn't look as if she feels like that for him - or her response would be different. Her intentions seem friendly although he might have other things in mind. Try and trust your girlfriend. She hasn't actually done ANYTHING except talking to someone.

 

the issue i mainly had was if it wasnt such a big deal y hide it from me an not tell me? an wen i ask about it dont even mention it then?? as well as the fact wen i left her house the otha nite she sed she was rly tired an wanted to go to bed (at like half 11) but wen i go ome shes still emailin this guy at like half 12!! just seemed a little off.
we went out 2 dinner las nite an talked about our issues, made a deal that if i try an put more effort in2 r relationship that she doesnt respond 2 any come-ons from other guys at least while were tryin 2 sort our relationship out. ie dont respond to this jerk so we'll see how it goes. decided not to actually mention the emails an jus giv the hint that she had 2 focus on us!
i wud post the emails here 2 show that they were NOT just friendly (and thats in both directions not just him being overly keen) but itd take up 2 much room. she was definitely givin as much as he was an that was y i got so pissed off bout it, i dont hav a problem with her emailing guys so long as it aint as flirtatious as that. an the thing was they havent even met properly so it aint even like they r friends at uni, hes only seen her about an decided 2 email her!! that was the issue......but thanks 4 the responses nonetheless!!!

 

I think that you should just bring up everything. Even though you are snooping, that is no reason for her dishonesty. Trust is the most important part of a relationship an you both are doing something behind each others back, Now i don't think what you are doing is as severe as what she is doing but if you don't talk about this with her than you are definitely goig to be able to trust her. Your always going to be looking for something, and whether or not this is detrimental to your relationship, its always better to know.