My husband and I are divorcing. We've been together since we were 17. He's the only man I've ever had sex with. I'm petrified of the idea of having sex with another man. I'm scared he won't think I'm sexy. I'm scared I won't be good at it. I'm scared it will be awkward. I'm scared he won't understand why I don't enjoy vaginal penetration (I have vestibulitis). I'm scared I won't be able to relax. I'm scared I'll regret it afterwards. It's just a freaky thing in general. I know there's a good chance that the sex with someone else will be even better than the sex with my husband, but it's still scary.
the right man will make you naturally let go of your inhibitions. and I bet it happens when you are not counting on it. go with the flow!
It's a good sign actually. It means that you are aware of your feelings. Carlfloydfan's suggestion is good.
Don't rush into anything. You owe it to your child and to yourself to take some time to heal before thinking of moving on. Your husband's betrayal is still very recent. Without taking some time to be on your own, to heal yourself, you will most likely just wind up in another unhealthy mess with another asshole. That won't be good for you, and it will be even worse for your child, who is watching you to learn what a healthy, normal relationship is. As you heal yourself, the anxiety will lessen. As long as you are scared, it's most likely a sign that you should just not even think of going there. Once you are in a good mental space to enter into a new relationship, and once you meet the right man, all of this will melt away. If he doesn't think you're sexy, he's not the right man and you should move along. If he doesn't understand why you don't enjoy vaginal penetration, if he isn't willing to do what it takes to find some other way for both of you to please one another without pain, then he isn't the right man, and he's not worthy of you. Most importantly, if you can't relax, then you most certainly should not be getting intimately involved with him, as he is definitely not the right man for you.
Take it slow...enjoy the time to get to know yourself awhile , dont rush it...and dont let yourself rush into a relationship...you might ...it happens all the time. And..its ok to mourn..it doesnt mean your weak...it means you have a heart. Sending you good thoughtrs dear sister....been there and done that and im on my second marriage of 26 years.........if you ever need a shoulder..pm me
I'm in the sort of in the same situation as you minkajane. I'm not comming out of a divorce, but I've had some heart break. I'm scared that I may never find someone that shares the same perspectives with me on major issues in a relationship. I'm wishing you the best.....
