Relationships, i think, have saved my life!

This more of story, and i hope it is short about myself

I was at a time where i felt i was stuck in quite a rut
my freinds were all together my male mates were going through girls
While i quite excluded and quite unassured ,managed to wither and fry
For every day i felt disconnected with a surging feeling to die
Everyone seemed at a arm's distance, and my freindships were quite weak
The girl i was pursing ended abrutly disgracefully yeilding nothing, but killing much. I couldn't find confidenc in self i felt that it was me, eveything inside me, that pushed my world away. And so justly i just wanted to fade away

As i gre more desperate i fled to the fantasy of the mind
My head gave me visions of things i felt, to the point where i would kneel and weep, for what was real i could not say what crimes did i commit in those dark days?

But, with the frist one who was drawn to me, who called me forward, and i kissed her. I felt affection in her eyes, and injoyment in her lips. SHE was drawing pleasure from me. And i awoke, i knew i was somethim i was someone and that somewhere inside me their was someone who was deserving of love---

all those who never been hitched, who never had a stranger's love, pursue it but don't get lost in the loose stuff. Something will find and someone will love you, and someone eventully care, so don't wait for other to love when you can love yourself on your own merits today

 

That was beautiful man! BIG HUGS! BIG HUGS!

 

read his other threads before deciding if its beautiful or incredibly scary

i hope it ends up being beautiful. but frankly it scaresthe shit outta me

sininabin is a classic psychopath
hes planned and gone through with rape and molestation
he was hidding in a closset with a knife planning on killing a whole family

perhapsa kiss saved him..or perhaps a kiss put her in danger
only time will tell

but he needsto really address these issues seriusly before hesanywhere near ready to be in any relationship

 

Ok, well, I dunno but I didn't mean to do any kind of encouraging here, I just thought that sini had been hurt and was dealing with it, FUCK MAN. I got the wrong impression here. Did you really rape somebody sini? I'm so fucking confused right now. Just stop this shit now.

 

Yea, I just don't get it...

 

been hurt deeply yes..has hurt deeply absolutely
planned on hurting even more..umm yea

dealt with it? i'm gonna take some convincing on that 1

seems hes hanging alot on this girls kindness
to save him

last girl who was kind almost became his 1st victim

sin...ya hurt alotta ppl...your gonna have to prove ya changed b4 i'll buy it

 

What the heck man. Stop hurting people. Stop planning to hurt people. Stop hurting yourself. Go talk to a therapist before you end up seriously hurting somebody and then you'll have to deal with that for the rest of your life. I understand, it's a cruel world out there but you shouldn't be having these thoughts.

 

even if ya feel like your lifes been saved...ya owe it to yourself and this girl..and the 1's u already hurt..to get therapy.. and stick with it throughout the relsationship
probly medication as well

 

Yep definitely agree with the others, get counciling and theropy to work through your issues and stick with it!

 

Yea, do whatever it takes to get yourself back on track. Do it for yourself, and for those you've already hurt.

 

I dont know if this is all in your head...if you are writing fantasy...or something verry real....but either way....Im sorry to say this because it sounds really harsh...your words are abnormal...your thoughts are slightly twisted ..and i hope to god this is all a put on !!!

 

skeptical, and depressing:

But i respect your truth;

i think you think that i'm immutable, and that i'll just phasing right now, and that this girl will end just being plagued by me, or hurt by me.

but if i never try to reach out to anyone then i'll never really get to see if i overcome myself; i mean who is ready for any sort of "real" relationship in their teens, every person has promblems with themselves But no matter what i'll always be around other people, and their will always be girls that i like, isn't it better that she likes me, then something just manifesting.

brooding was the orginal promblem; something new has happened what i hope is from it new things may spring

 

lets hope so

nut regardless...get into therapy for both your sakes
remember where you were, and vow to never go there again, and only way to be sure is to ge the help you need and deal with everything that sent you down that road
do it for her..do it for you..and do it for those you hurt