Raw Emotion

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Freakymetalchik, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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    pain pain pain
    hurt rage death
    cry laugh cry
    scream cut bleed
    drink drug drug
    burn fall slip

    scream scream cry
    bite cut burn
    smash hit kill
    rage hate love
    hurt hurt slip
    fall hit hurt

    cry cry cry
    scream hit hurt
    pain hurt death
    dead rage stare
    hurt pain fury
    envy hurt pain
    slip fall die
    cry cry laugh

    laugh slip hurt
    hate slip die
    cut hurt stop
    hit pain pain
    cry laugh die
    hurt hurt hate

    i cant stop thinking of him...


    It's really different from my usual ones, and I don't really like it, but a friend of mine said it was good and I should post it. Comments?
     
  2. Malapascua

    Malapascua Member

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    It is good.
    Very emotional.
    Your friend is right.

    It is a different type than I usually read, but the last line brings it all together.
     
  3. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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  4. redyelruc

    redyelruc The Yard Man

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    Excellent !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  5. Jack Maundrell

    Jack Maundrell C.A.P

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    very bodacious
     
  6. Malapascua

    Malapascua Member

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    Ha ha ha.......
    Sorry, I haven't heard that word in a very long time.......
    I think the last time I heard it was in the movie "Bill and Ted's Excelent Adventure."
     
  7. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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    thanks guys and thanks for reading :)
     
  8. mr_alleycat

    mr_alleycat Member

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    I get a picture of a sad soul, contemplating the sheen of a sharp blade.
     
  9. Stubb0rnSt0n3r

    Stubb0rnSt0n3r Banned

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    One of which is drowned?
    In a vat of black ink?
    And scatched across many dry fibers?
    With a screeching man, with a screeching.

    Goodwrite FMC.
     
  10. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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  11. blackheartbitch

    blackheartbitch Member

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    its good im glad u posted it
     
  12. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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