Post Your Extremely Offensive Jokes Thread

Warning: Anyone offended by Racist, Sexist, Anti-religious, Homophobic or just plain wrong jokes: Dont bother reading, and please dont bother whining about it. Thank you




What's the worst thing to give a blind deaf kid for xmas?
Cancer


How do you get 30 dead babies in a bag?
A blender


How do you get them out?
Tostidos


What is better than fucking an 8 yr old girl?
Flipping her over and pretending she's an 8 yr old boy


What do you do if you're fucking a 5 yr old and her pelvis pops?
Stop because if that doesn't get you off nothing will


What do you call a parapalegic in a pool?
Bob


What do you call a parapalegic on a wall?
Art


What do you call a parapalegic in front of a door?
Matt


Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?
Everyone has the same DNA.


Customer: Hi. I use Windows.
Hotline: Yea...?
Customer: My computer does not work..
Hotline: You said that already.


Why is it not advisable for women to ski in skirts?
They get chapped lips.


Why should women skydive naked?
They'll whistle all the way down.


Whats read and falls out of trees?
A monkey's miscarrage.


What the abortion clinic motto?
You rape 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.


How do you get a woman to scream twice?
Fuck her in the ass and wipe your dick on the curtains.


What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.


What do you call 5 lepers in a hot-tub?
Stew.


What does a redneck say after sex?
Thanks Mom.


What's the difference between a truck load of dead babies and a truck load of bowling balls?
You can't use a pitchfork to unload the bowling balls.


What's the worst part about fucking a 5 year old?
Getting the blood off of your clown costume....


What's blue and fucks old people?
Hypothermia


How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.


What is a redneck virgin?
A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.


What's the only kind of meat a priest can eat on friday?
Nun


How do the childern in Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch know when to go to bed?
When the big hand touches the little hand.


Why did Michael Jackson go to Wal Mart?
He heard they had little boys underwear half off.


What do you call a gay man in wheelchair?
Rolaids



A little boy runs up to his priest crying " Father father ! I don't know what to do ! ". The priest tells the boy to sit down and tell him what happened. " Well, " the boy says " My dad came home and found my mom with another man and he beat her and kicked us out of the house, and my moms pregnent, and she doesn't know who the daddy is, and my dad says it's all my fault and FATHER FATHER I just don't know what we're going to do !! ".

The priest stands up, drops his pants and says, " Son this just isn't your day.".

 

Woah...

Too Much at Once...

 

I know theres more than a couple sick fucks in here, lets see some jokes....

 

What's better than winning the special olympics?

Not being retarded.

 

What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

You can't fuck a rock.

What do a brick and a fat chick have in common?

They're both being laid by Mexicans.

 

Why do women wear white at their wedding?





To match the other kitchen appliances.

 

What's brown and can be found in a baby's diaper?

Michael Jackson's hand.

Difference between Michael and Santa Clause?

They both leave your kid's room with they sack emptied.

 

you all are evil!!!

 

Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: "Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really piss me off."

 

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams down three nails on the front desk and says to the manager, "Can you put me up for the night?"

 

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked, while a beautiful, big-breasted nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis. They were told that anyone whose bell rang when the nude model danced in front of them would not be ordained, because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest.

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground. Embarrassed, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell...

Then all the other bells started to ring.

 

These are sick but funny

 

How do you know if your roommate is gay?



His cock tastes like shit.

 

oh! hahahaha

 

What is the difference between a prostitute, a mistress and a wife...

Prostitute: "Is it over yet?"

Mistress: "awww.. it is not over yet, is it?"

Wife: "Beige... I think I will paint the ceiling beige..."

 

Here's a joke......................

Douche bags surround me here.
Not a joke; just a factoid.

 

bug man! i swear i saw yer name and i was gonna ask if i could hug you but alas... your name is gone!!

 

What's grosser than gross?
Siamese twins attached at the mouth and one throws up.


Hear about the blind skunk who tried to rape a fart?


Two conceited people fucking--
She: "Aren't I tight?"
He: "No, just full."


What's worse than your dentist telling you have herpes?
Your mother telling you.

 

oh my...that was hilarious

 

I have no sense of humor so I can't create jokes. But someone needs to make an offensive joke about males.