Polyamory anyone?

Polyamory relationships are believing you can love more than one person at a time. I am legaly married to a wonderful man yet I have another man in my life also that I love very much. Does anyone else have this view on love and relationships?

 

And if they know about each other, are they okay about it?

 

Yes they know about each other, they are best friends. I am sexualy active with both and we have all been STD tested so before anyone asks about that we are all clean. I love both of them deeply and they both love me.

 

Yes, they both agree with ploy relationships and are ok with me being with both of them.

 

LOL it is so not about being spoiled. If my husband was to find a woman he feel in love with also that would be totaly fine too.

 

Just curious as to why you are on a hippie site? Are you a true hippie? I mean you are being sorta judgmental on saying women are spoiled, and hippies do not judge. its all about free love and peace.

 

Nope I'm a firm believer in monogamy, sorry.

I've had several friends who have had polygamous & "open" marriages... so far every one has ended in divorce. I dunno if these people were just unlucky or that's the norm, but it just doesn't seem to be the greatest idea to me.

 

I might have been open to this kind of thing in past relationships but now that I met the man of my dreams I see no reason to look for another... good luck to you though

 

i think that if everyoen knows about wahts going on and is ok with it, its good for them. ive date da guy who had another girlfirend, we knew about each other, all 3 went out for supper a few times, etc. no issues there, save for the fact i knew we wouldnt get super serious. i understand the urge for it, but its not my cup of tea... i like monogamy, it suits me. i still like looking at eyecandy, but i only wanna touch teh guy im with... doesnt hurt none that hes by far teh best lover ive ever had

 

To each their own, as long as everyone involved knows excactly what everyone else is doing. Can't be secretive or sneaking around. Up front and honest with LOTS & LOTS of COMMUNICATION.
Would take lots of trust and openness to make it work.

 

I have some friends who swear to me that poly whatever is not just fun, but our natural biological nature. While some may feel that, and I am open to hearing their opinions and view mysefl as pretty open minded, I do not feel that deep within my being that it is natural for me, or right. It's just not for me

I don't judge those who do it. Maybe some of us are meant for it and some are not, for whatever reasons. But I do get annoyed when people tell me "it is how it is" and my boyfriend/husband (we're married in spirit) is eye balling girls if not fucking them outright behind my back, whether he admits it or not. And no I don't mean finding other people attractive is wrong, it's just like this... I find other men attractive but yet I am not personally attracted to them, you see? I just notice they got something, but its still not something I need, or want. Just cuz someone's hot doesn't mean you want to fuck them (according to my friends you do). For me there is sooo much more. I have to love someone to open up my body to them, and for me that means one person, the one and only person I put all ,or well most, of my love and time and energy into. I can't even picture having that with anyone else.


Perhaps this isn't the response you were looking for but this is what I feel in response to reading your post. These friends of mine are content to prove me wrong in monogomy, to prove to me that everyone is meant to be in more than one intimate relationship. yet I have my beliefs, and no intentions of dictating anyone else's life. So I leave this with you, whatever floats your boat.

 

I do not think monogomy is wrong by no means. I just believe that our souls have the power to love others as much as their spouse (like 2 husbands or 2 wifes) some people may not find two people they could do that with but I think some people can.

 

cool. I just have left over annoyances from some people who say it is the only way, and I'm in denial. I'm glad you know better, or at least accept that it is for some and not others.

All the more power to you!!! and I hope it works out even though I cannot even begin to grasp the dynamics.

 

HEHE its really not that hard. I know for sure it is not the only way but it is one way of many to live.

 

ive had both polymonogomouse & mononomouse & polyamourouse or however theyre spelled. a poly relationship can be special but can be so hard too & easier to get mesy
but monogomouse ones can get messy easy too.

i gotta wonder tho if cowboy woiuld feel differently if it was 1 guy 2 girls hed be all into it

hippiechick nothing at all wrong with what you got just be lil aware that your doubling the possibility of things going wrong
doesnt mean they wont go right, but think
if 1 in 4 relationships work & u try with 2 thats 1 in 8 chance that 1 or the other will ladt.. & maybe 1 in 16 chance of both working
then keep in mind most ppl have way way more then 4 relationships b4 finding 1 that works so, your odds are 1 in 4000? who knows
yes they can workm but, theres a real readson why theres not more poly relationships

its hard enough to get along with 1

 

hehe so true soaring...we all have our "rules" on things to help keep the drama afar. i just love to have the feeling of love all around....

 

how do you get over jealousy? or do you not feel it?

I get jealous of my boyfriend's female friends... until I met them anyways, and then I have no problem with them... except one girl who really did like him (he was in denial but I knew) but she's not hanging around no more I made sure to that!!

he gets jealous too. but we're both monogomous and completely trust each other. or well I can honestly say I trust him, and I think/know he trusts me. But still, we both still feel jealousy even though there isn't any reason too. I think it's natural though... for most. I would like to understand how it doesn't affect you though, especially when there IS another.

 

Well, he is older than me and when we married he knew i was a major flirt, I actaully had a b/f up untill a week before we got married. It has just been something that since the day we met we knew how each other were. Another thing that helps is I knew him for years before we married I hated him then became bestfreinds with him (he dated my sister at the time) and so we see each other as best friends with the greatest love there is. So you arent generally jealous of your bestfriend right? that is how we feel. Now the other guy i guess he jsut doesnt feel jealous since he was the add on to the relationship i dont know but he has never showed any jealousy.

 

you don't know me.

and if someone was hanging around your relationship trying to sneak in you'd probably have a go at them. I'm only human. And my boyfriend acts the same towards any "threats" he sees. So I did nothing that was inappropriate according to OUR terms.

I only told her to not call my man (on MY cellphone that I share with him) if she's gonna hang up on me. Controling? or in control. it's whatever.

 

you are really negative. Have you never been in a loving commited relationship? if so I doubt you would think of your life partner, or current partner as "snatch", if you truely respected them. I'm not just a pussy here.