Opinion on boys nights

Discussion in 'Men's Issues' started by margot7, Jul 6, 2006.

  1. margot7

    margot7 Member

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    I would like to know you guys opinon on the boys night out thing. I'm in a relationship and find that being with him (boyfriend) and going out with him is fun, so I cannot understand why he feels like going out with the guys and leaving me at home from time to time(say usually once a month). Its annoying, because when you're in a relationship with someone you are supposed to enjoy going anywhere with them,otherwise why are you in a relationship in the first place.And what do guys do on boys nights out anyway. Well I can only guess. I'm not saying that meeting a friend at a bar or socialising for a while is wrong but when you guys want to make a whole night of it painting the town red then a girl has to wonder what the hell is up with that.
     
  2. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

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    "in a relationship with someone", not their conjoined twin

    Some time apart is healthy. Required even.
     
  3. fistermister

    fistermister Member

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    All guys need to get away from their girlfriends from time to time. If you are bored go on a girls night out next time.
     
  4. revolution_time

    revolution_time Member

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    guys go out on guy's nights out so...they can just be guys. they can talk about guy stuff, and they don't have to act polite and proper all the time. he has his friends, and he wants to keep a connection with them, something you just can't do if your girlfriend tags along too. then the guy feels he needs to spend all his time with her. i wouldn't worry about it. he leaves to go out once a month. that's nothing at all. i see how you could be concerned, but, coming from another guy, you have nothing to fret about. he isn't going out and having a drunken orgi somewhere. he's just going out and being a guy for a little while. when he plans a guy's night out, you plan a girl's night out.
     
  5. Aristartle

    Aristartle Snow Falling on Cedars Lifetime Supporter

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    It seems like you are mostly having feelings of concern because while he is out, you are at home - just waiting for him to come home safely from having a few drinks with his buddies.

    While he is out, why don't you have a movie-fest and invite all your girlfriends over for a potluck dinner or something like that.

    Do you ever go out and leave him at home? Worth consideration.

    Don't try and convince him to take you with him, when it's a guy's night only. Wait - does he go to strip clubs or parties? Because I mean - hanging out with buddies at a pub or at a buddy's place with a few people over - is normal. I would feel uncomfortable if my boyfriend was going to parties without me and/or strip clubs. I don't think that was part of your question though.
     
  6. Raving Sultan

    Raving Sultan Banned

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    It depends on the guy, he could be talking trash with his boys drinking beers late, or. He could be at a party trying to get some young girl to pull on his knob. You never know...
    Just kidding. I would recommend you relax and find your own thing to do. Be yourself, if he is cheating you will find out eventually. Most likely he is not.
     
  7. LdyNimue

    LdyNimue Member

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    Hey boys night out isn't a bad thing believe me, gives you space, something that is also needed to help a relationship. There is alot to be said for Ladies night, try it sometime ;)
     
  8. aphrodite_pretty

    aphrodite_pretty Member

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    My BF takes time away from me every now and then, and that's fine with me. When he's with the guys, he's playing poker, playing D&D, or going out to eat or play basketball. I know he's not getting head at some seedy bar or going to a strip joint (he'd take me because he knows I'd love to see strippers).

    When we first started dating, I felt dejected anytime he didn't want to see me. 98% of the time it was because he had to work or was sick. But I've gotten over it and don't mind at all. He makes a lot of effort to show me he loves me and puts up with a lot of my silliness.
     
  9. fitzy21

    fitzy21 Worst RT Mod EVAH!!!!

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    just go out with your girls when he's out with the boys.

    they're just hanging out being guys
     
  10. margot7

    margot7 Member

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    Thanx for all the replies, muchly appreciated. what all u guys have said makes alot of sense. I'll b having a girl's night out soon.
     
  11. spooner

    spooner is done.

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    Of course, we used to get ridiculously wasted, hit strip bars and clubs, and see who could collect the most phone numbers/make out with the most people. Occasionally one of us cheated.

    All the girls here are painting guys as way more trustworthy than most guys are. Or at least more than I am, and two thirds of my friends.
     
  12. margot7

    margot7 Member

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    Hey Spooner You're Not Making Me Feel Much Better Now!
     
  13. spooner

    spooner is done.

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    ignorance is bliss, eh?
     
  14. fritz

    fritz Heathen

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    I think as monetary obligations, & more in depth involvement grows the stakes get higher.
    Depends on the guy. Depends on the situation.
    Once a month does not sound bad.
    Or, you could do what I used to do...
    Go to see guys strip. Go try a couple meatmarket clubs, just for fun. Get sweaty, & slightly drunk while dancing. Celebrate life...
     
  15. LuckyStripe

    LuckyStripe Mundane.

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    I was with a guy before that kept his friends seperate from me and NEVER invited me to hang out with him and his friends- which made me suspicious.

    I don't mind guys going out with their friends sometimes without me- I do stuff without the guys I'm with with my girlfriends sometimes. However, if a guy is NEVER comfortable with me hanging out with him and his friends I don't like that.
     
  16. spooner

    spooner is done.

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    keep in mind he might be trying to protect you from endless mocking. we rag on girlfriends that try to hang out with us. if you're sensitive, we'll put you in therapy.
     
  17. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    I think it is healthy for people in a relationship to continue to pursue their personal interests and spend time with their friends. My dh and I have been together for 28 years. The couples who were never apart in High School ect are not together at all. Bear and I often spent time with our own friends, and doing things we liked, with or without the other one. We are still together.

    There is nothing wrong with him hanging out with his freinds. Sometimes I spend time with my friends, when Bear has Poker Night or plays Softball, or sometimes I see it as a chance to catch up on my reading and have some quite time to myself after the kids go to bed.

    We haven't suffered a bit from doing what we want with our free time.
     
  18. revolution_time

    revolution_time Member

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    don't let people freak you out. he's only going out about once a month. but, in the end, you have to ask yourself, do you trust him? none of us know him, so we can't help you judge that.
     
  19. dixie_pixy

    dixie_pixy HighMandi

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    Ok This Is For Part Two:D

    I have the same issue from time to time. My biggest concern however is the fact that I know %100 that these guys are no good! They are always getting into trouble. Stealing trashtrucks (yes, one of them did) etc on a regular basis. I don't want my sweet dear out hanging with guys that will get him into trouble. I let him go to the drag strip on occasion or over to an approved friends house. I just want to make sure that he is behaving and not getting tempted. Most guys know how to say "No", but not mine. He is often swayed into doing things he dosen't want just to look cool and fit in. So, what is the answer in this situation? I love him to death. More than you could imagine, but he gets hanging around his friends, his attitude changes drastically. I really don't know what to do.
     
  20. kitty fabulous

    kitty fabulous smoked tofu

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    I would never date someone who wouldn't take time off to hang out with his friends. Or even occaisionally go on a short vacation, if he needed the space. Same for guys who wouldn't allow me to have my space.

    The clinginess, neediness, and fear of being apart for even a little while, the insecure demands that they go everywhere and do everything with you is a sign of serious dysfunction. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship under those conditions.

    I don't know about guys, but clinginess/possessiveness/neediness/insecurity is something I hav no tolerance for, which is why I remain single after 2 divorces.
     

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