One Shiva

Let me tell you.

Wow.

I had to be taken home like a baby.

I had everything in my life thrown in my face, I was completely naked before myself and couldn't avoid or squirm out of it. I spent the night on the verge of tears and even now this next morning I feel a psychological need to vomit at all the folly that has been dislodged from my mind. I actually considered calling my dealer and telling him I'm out, out of the game, he's not getting anymore from me. I can't believe 90 of these have been unleashed upon the greater toronto area. I apologize profoundly if anyone reads this and took some and didn't know it was this kind of potency. I can only shake my head sadly that some poor kid is gonna eat 4 of these thinking it'll be a good time.

This is not your happy fun time acid . . . this is motherfucking lysergic acid diethylamide, the dissolver of the barrier between inner and outer, you/not you, and all illusions.

I am rocked to my core, humbled to where i want to vomit out of shaky tension and just thank everything that vomiting is possible.

I guess that's it, I don't have much to say on the effects, LSD is LSD, it did it's thing. I will say that 1 shiva is almost as strong as 2 hofmanns, felt like 1.75 hoffies or so.

i want to flush all my drugs down the toilet and never log on here again. but i know i can do the things i need to do and still keep this in my life as a benefit, a side thing, the creme. as lucy has taught me, much in life is an "and" situation, not an "or" situation.

love you all.

 

Soooooooo ego death??? Did you go with it or try to control/fight it? Or was the setting not right for that?

I wish the labs that could test were still available, just out of curiosities sake!

 

the effects of the tab and the plans for the evening were unfortunately incompatible for me. i went with it, i didn't have a choice. fighting it would have led to hell. i felt first effects about 30 seconds after it touched my tongue . . . still wired this morning

 

Lucy bitch slapped ya, huh?
So all in all your saying it was a good trip then. At least that is how I view those type of experiences.
That is what separates the Partiers from the Searchers.
I'm sure it rocked your world down to your core, but isn't that one of the things we strive for with these substances as a Searcher?
If a strong trip doesn't leave you feeling psychically and spiritually raped and ragged then often they aren't as educational and life changing.

The trick now and what distinguishes the experienced user from the rookie is how you integrate such experiences into your life and being.

As a guesstimation how strong would you say they were, 150ug, 200ug, 300ug or more ?

 

Ahh, the good ol' "i'm going to quit all drugs and fix my life" phase. I remember the first time I was thinking that when I tried this ridiculously strong WoW blotter in 08. Shit made me never want to touch drugs, rethink my friends, and do something in life. Sadly the next week I was hitting my dealer up for more Happens to everybody.

 

well said pbsmith. Me wants some shiva sounds like some good ol fashioned LSD

 

The real pisser is when you realize that you only go in and out until you grab onto the moment you want and relinquish everything else.

 

bitterness? just playin

now in seriousness: are you in a different point in your life, emotionally, psychologically, etc. than you were maybe a year ago? it seems like the "old" writer took crazy high doses of psychedelics and wasn't phased. now one of these, or two hoffmans gives you an overwhelming or on the verge of tears and wanting to vomit trip. no doubt strong acid doses can have PROFOUND effects, but it seems like something might not be right in the way of set / setting.
what were your plans for the evening? test out the potency of a new batch, and pretty much go about your business?

on the other hand, two hoffmans did have me in tears as well.

how were your visuals?

 

Maybe they were quadruple dipped hits?

 

It does seem that many go through such stages.

The reality of temporary 'non-existance' of 'you' is often a more daunting experience when you know what is coming than it was when you first tried it. You know how deep the rabbit hole goes per se <- and it is a lot deeper than you could have imaged prior to ones first time. Someone made a good post not long ago about finding it harder and harder to 'jump in' and felt the need to leave a rope of some sort, hold on to something.

But as you surely know, having dosed too strongly for a setting is hardly a reason to not want to stop! As Peanut Butter said, there is the spiritual setting and the party setting and in one, you cannot have too much - the other is quite a different story! But we have all been there, that feeling as you are returning exhausted and dying to be sober thinking 'i need a while now, gotta clear my palet, clear my head'

 

Why in the hell do people want to call me Peanut Butter.
I'm definetly not smooth and creamy, maybe a little chunky though.

 

Really? Obviously they are trying to affix some suffix to the user name initials, PB.

 

He knows

 

OK, I'll reveal the secret.
Anyone remember the game Baldurs Gate?
Well my favorite character I created in that game was an Orc Barbarian pirate whom I named
Pusbucket Smith or PB Smith. Just look at my profile picture.
I liked the name and it has just stuck with me over the years.

So the next scallywag thats calls me Peanut Butter Smith will feel my orcish wrath as I eat your heart while it still beats. AARRRGGGH!

 

I think so too.

 

Pus bucket I must admit, suits you better.

 

Paintball
Passed ball
Paul's Boutique, sophomore album by the Beastie Boys
Performance Bikes Magazine
Personal best, an athlete's best ever performance in a particular event
Phantom Brave, a tactical role-playing game
Prison Break TV show
Punjab
Pacific Beach, San Diego, California, United States
Palm Bay, Florida, United States
Pismo Beach, California, United States
Performance Bond
Premium Bond
Price-to-book ratio
Pro bono
Payback period
Peanut butter
Philosophy & Belief (PB),a subject taught in some secondary schools used as an alternative name or subject to the traditional Religious Education, received by every secondary and primary student by Law in the UK ?
Premium Bus Service commonly known as PBS in Singapore. This type of bus service bring you to Orchard Road, Suntec City, Shenton Way or Jurong East MRT quickly and in comfort.
Project Blogger
Peripheral Blood
Pedestrian business
Personal best
Powerball
Packard Bell
Palladium Books
Panda Bear (musician)
Parsons Brinckerhoff
PBair
Pitney Bowes
Playboy Magazine
Prussian Blue (duo), a White Nationalist folk teen duo in the United States
Presiding Bishop
Panera Bread
Pottery Barn
Patrol boat
Irizar PB a coach body built by Irizar
Petabit (Pb) or petabyte (PB), one of two related units of information used, for example, to quantify computer memory or storage capacity
Photobucket
Picobarn (physics) - correctly written in lower case: pb
Pilatus Railway (from the German name of Pilatus Bahn)
Pipe bomb
Piranha Bytes
Polybutylene
PowerBuilder
ProBoards
PunkBuster
Rochester Post-Bulletin

 

Does conjur up a rather nasty mental image don't it though.:ack2:

An old wooden bucket overflowing with nasty yellowish-white pus oozing out of the seams as if from a festering wound emitting vile and noxious odors guaranteed to make you uke:.

And I like it that way.
AAARRRRRGGGG!!

 

you forgot Public Broadcasting System

 

holy shit