No Kids By Choice

Every environmental problem is made worse by the large and rapidly rising human population of the earth. When a couple chooses to have no children, they are cutting to zero the future environmental impact of that family's future generations. It could be considered the greatest sacrifice that an individual can make for the planet, and possibly the greatest long-term positive difference you can make, short of gaining a position of power to change public policy on a large scale.

My wife and I made the decision not to have children many years ago. The environment is one of several factors that influenced our thinking.

Has anyone else here gone in this direction or contemplated doing it?

 

Have.

*one* kid

2 people making one person, a much better idea.

What focus is lost is that a child is the absolute best way to instill your views PLUS some upon the world... to create change directly into the next generation and so on...

While it is absolutely important to spread positivity to ALL children of the world (everyone), having a child and offering him a strong base of positivity from the ground up can have phenomenal and direct effects on the next generation.

The issue I see here is that many folks who elect to not have kids are those who are aware of the horrors that exist within this world... those that see through the blinders prescribed to us by the media... saying "I would not want my kid to be a part of that"...

Or perhaps in your situation, where your concern is that of global overpopulation...

I see this as a cultural sterilization... a genocide even. The ignorant pop babies out to get larger welfare checks, creating a situation where kids are thrown into a world that cares more about the money they bring in than them as people...

While the knowledgeable opt out of the direct generational advance of humanity... instead thrusting duty upon other shoulders.

A childs base is his parents... particularly in a world that seems convinced of genetic limitation... the best possible way to ensure continued change upon the world is to instill such understandings and beliefs into a child, a child that believes *you* to be his base - a base of peace and understanding... love and calm... a good example!

Examine your decision... the world needs more good people...

 

Oh bull, when they grow up they arent going to listen to old farts, they are going to blame everything that is wrong with the world on the previous generation, doesnt matter what the old farts think, they are in charge now

 

I think this is the key to the differences between our ways of looking at this issue. My parents worked hard to make sure I would adopt their values and pass them along to the next generation. It didn't work out for them. They taught me to be ultraconservative, traditional, fearful, closed-minded, and racist. My education and life experiences taught me just the opposite.

When I look back at the 60s counterculture (I was born in 62), I see a generation of young people discovering that they were not destined or limited to being the kind of people that their parents wanted them to be. They were discovering the empowering joy of thinking for themselves.

I see education and enlightenment as our hope for the future, not good parenting. It's not that I think good parenting is worthless. I know better. I just can't find an example of a society that bettered itself by getting its "best" people to fight and win a breeding war against "the masses". We need to make better people out of the ones who are already here.

I am an only child, so I am not opposed to your approach at all. It worked out fairly well for me. My main concern about only children is our natural predisposition towards narcissism. It comes with the territory.

 

I've noticed a somewhat disturbing trend for each generation to try and be the opposite of the one before it. It isn't a new thing. For example, it is thought by many that General Robert E. Lee became the quintessential Southern gentleman because his father was such a fool. I know several college graduates in their twenties who are quite narrow-minded and judgmental. Is this because their parents were free thinkers? I hope not!

 

I decided a long time ago that I would not have any children of my own. But I want to be a parent and have a big family. I'm adopting and fostering when I get married.

 

Defeatist extremist...

What a solemn assumption.

Blaming is irrelevant... what is done now for tomorrow matters.

What now, if a child grew up with that understanding?

 

And as a result you were able to learn from their mistakes. You saw firsthand the absurdity of their notions, and got over it.

You benefitted from seeing that side of people... of course in my thinking, you and I have benefited from everything that has ever happened to either of us.

But thats not an option if we are not born...

Its not a breeding war, it is the very spread of knowledge you speak of. A child is a captive audience... if you speak truthfully and logically they will always listen. If your words make more sense than other words, they go by them and THAT becomes the base of their lives.

I can only imagine where I would be now if I were my father, if you see where I'm going with this...

Narcissism is just fine! Properly utilized, it is the driving force behind a great person! I cannot BE the greatest if I do not think it is possible for me TO BE the greatest! For me to truly believe that I can, for example, paint better than Picasso... I MUST be narcissistic to some degree!

Confidence is no more than narcissism.

And that is certainly offered in an only child situation

 

That is a truly great option. It makes the world a better place for the kids involved, without increasing the population at all. And it goes against the natural egotistical fallacy that our own DNA is somehow superior.

I agree, as long as it is kept in moderation. An only child gets used to getting plenty of attention from two adults. Transitioning to the real world, where you may be the least important person in a group situation, can be quite difficult and unpleasant.

That is an optimistic and positive way to look at life, but it leads to people wanting to have as many kids as they can afford, which is pretty much where we are now. That old approach just isn't going to work much longer.

When you have a genuine desire to be a good parent, you want to give your kid as many advantages in life as you can. You want them to be safe and healthy and have plenty of educational, enlightening, positive experiences. In an economy like ours in America, that currently means consumption of huge amounts of energy and other resources over a period of years, along with the production of mind-boggling quantities of solid, liquid, and gaseous wastes, many with long-lasting consequences. Are each of those lucky kids going to do something positive for the world that counterbalances all that consumption and pollution?

I know that significant gains can be made in terms of efficiency, recycling, and otherwise smarter environmental stewardship, but it only goes so far. Reducing our carbon footprint by 75% would be canceled out by a doubling of the population two more times. Eventually, something has to be done about the population situation, or else all other measures will have only delayed an inevitable sharp drop-off in quality of life, possibly all the way to zero - the extinction of the species.

I would like for the next generation to experience everything good and wonderful that has come my way, like education, travel, music, art, etc., but I also wish that for the people that are born 200 years from now. If the world's population keeps growing, all those unfortunate individuals will be destined to live short lives of poverty and suffering, in a very broken world.

 

I know that most people are unable to feel that same connection when they know that there is no blood relation. But I've never had any of those hang-ups, so I figured that it would be selfish of me to ignore that personality gift. I think there are people that might be willing to go that route, but they just don't know how big the problem is or that it's even a possible option. Most people just need to be made more aware.

 

Yeah, I never understood that problem. I feel more of a connection to my wife than to blood relatives. I think any strong relationship that is formed by choice is very special.

Parenting is also a tough job. The world would be better off if that job was undertaken only by those (like you) who had a strong desire to do it, rather than out of a sense of obligation or tradition. In other words, we don't need more good parents nearly as much as we need fewer bad parents.

 

That is very true. In the town where I live there is a tramendous amount of apathentic parents. They don't beat their kids or starve them or any of those things. They just don't bother to do anything. They don't discipline, or help them with school work, they pump them full of ritaline in order to get them to be easier to deal with, they don't care if they're failing school. It's like the kids just an annoyance that needs to be dealt with as little as possible until you can get rid of it. Or even worse, a way to get government help. It sickens me.

 

We chose to have one child of our own nd one only for this very reason. Unfortunately we discovered infertility issues and were now thinking where to go from here

 

I chose to adopt children. As a single man I was limited to adopting the hard to place kids, in my case that was older kids and sibling groups. WOW what a riot life has been. My oldest son is 47 my youngest is 16. Two of my sons are from Latin America. There is a closeness that is as warm and natural and intamate as anything in my own childhood. They have been embraced the values of being strong family men, and loving fathers. I could never have asked for better sons with my own biological gifts. If I had it to do over again I would not hesitate to do the same thing. Sure I made mistakes in parenting but I'm human and kids are forgiving if they know they are loved and safe. Go adopt a herd of the little urchins, theres tons of great young human beings just waiting for you to be their parents...and have fun with it all. Steve

 

That appears to make you a prime candidate for the adoption route.

I did not foresee this thread being so much about adoption, but it makes perfect sense. Adoption satisfies most adults' desire to be parents and balances it with the need to reduce the world birth rate as much as possible. It seems an ideal compromise.

Maybe I'm off target here, but I think that Tisha Mc was thinking of the individuals who do not like adoption and do not choose to go that route. The majority of Americans have no interest in adoption; they must have some rationale for their positon.

 

What better a way to destroy cultural, state, and genetic lines than to adopt a child from a different world! Helps solve population issues while also showing one little person that love is the final determiner of an individual - not physical or stereotypical traits!

Racism begins within, assuming self to be different than other by virtue of some physical trait and/or the location of birth on this one world.

A fine compromise indeed, I will promote the idea to those I believe will benefit from now on

 

I haven't had any children but I think the people not having children for environmental reasons wont really effect things in a positive way because when smarter more environmentally caring people don't have children it wont stop over population by people who dont give a damn .
in some cultures you have a belief that you should have the maximum number of children and all that will happen is you caring peoples countrys will be invaded by the overflow from countrys that over shoot their carrying capacity .
really you would be better having children and having strong borders so the die off will be limited to other countrys that would be the more green answer.

if your european or japanese that would include white people outside europe your ethnic group is already shrinking, but at least in europe you see people saying we need immigrants to make up for our shrinking population , so I dont see how what your doing will help anyone, the countrys your in will not lose population or become more sustainable

 

You make it sound as if it takes extra effort to not have kids. In fact, it takes a great amount of effort to have them and raise them to maturity. I have not yet seen a problem anywhere that would be helped in any way by my increasing the population by one or two. Maintaining racial balance is not my problem.

Having a kid is, among other things, a vote of confidence in the future. You don't describe a future world that I would want to bring a child into. That is a decision that I am responsible for making.

 

Mmmm,huh

You, me, everyone, we all know diddly squat

The world is far too complex for us to change, often fuzzy wuzzy intentions have the opposite effect.

Despite how much we hope a childs development has to do with the parents cos of the sacrifices we've made, Themselves and then their same aged peers are always a far bigger influence