It may or may not come as a surprise to many of you that the ol' rabble-rousing atheist of HipForums has an ultra-religious, holy-rollin' family. My father has been a minister for over 30 years and my mother is always involved in conferences and the like. It's really like going to a TBN-athon when we all meet over at Mother's. Now, I have struggled with breaking the news to Mother that I think religion is nothing but a steaming pile of intolerant psychological bullshit, but the one thing that really pushes my buttons is that my childhood was built around this (although they weren't AS charismatic then), but now their whole lives center around goddamn church and goddamn church people and goddamn church conferences and they seem to have little and limited time for family anymore. Sure, my Mother watches the kids from time to time, but you can tell that their whole lives are eaten up by this crap. I've almost spilt the beans out of anger, but I didn't. Sadly, EVERYONE knows that knows me except for them and my grandparents. I don't want to crush them, but I can't take this shit anymore either. If they ever got on here and saw the way I attack religion, they'd shit themselves. It's only around my friends, my online friends and certain family members can I really let loose of my true feelings on the matter. But, I think I am going to continue to bottle it all up from them until I explode in fury.
Are you scared that if you say something you will be punishedd for not respecting your parents? (just kidding)
No, it's an extremely complicated deal. They wouldn't "disown" me or mark me out of the will (I'd hope), but they would be very disrespectful of my life and probably mention "Jesus" everytime I was around and tell me about "hell" constantly and that's not the kind of relationship I want with them.
Well is this issue eating you up inside? If you're comfortable with your family not knowing about your atheistic ideas then there isn't a problem in my opinion. However, if its something you've deemed important for them to know, then it would be best to break this news to them as gently and calmly as possible. Hopefuly, if you explain your feelings to them, they won't be so inclined to disrespect them. I hope everything goes well.
Thanks, pagansrule! It is important, but I just don't know if it's the right time. I think I'll wait a little longer. Maybe give myself a time limit. Say, before the end of the year or something.
What kind of minister is your father? If you out yourself, would they be likely to try to convert you? :/ I have no idea what that's like. My mother is about the weakest christian ever, & my father is agnostic. It was easy for me. It's really too bad you have to deal with that. Well, I hope it goes well for you.
My father is one of those "holy ghost" deals. Listens to nothing but Christian praise music. Watches preachers on Tv. Preaches all the day. Full time "pastor" of the largest church in the county. I MEAN OBSESSED with it. Thanks for your support. It is really much harder than most people think.
Oh, yeah. My parents are pretty well off. They begged my wife years ago to allow our son to attend the private school at my father's cathedral. It is an extremely expensive school with a superior education structure. They are shades ahead of the public schools. My father told her that he would pay for everything IF we let our son go there. It's quite a deal. My only problem is that it is a religious school. They don't seem to push the beliefs on the kids really, but it's still there. My wife and I had thought about taking him out, but the public schools around here are awful.
Thanks willow, it is a quite a dilemma. But the way I figure it, he is safer, gets a guaranteed quality education and seems to enjoy it. And there will come a time when he and I will have a heart to heart about religion, but I will not force my atheism on him or try to tear him down. I want what is best for him, but I will always teach him to think for himself and to question and challenge assumptions.
Wow, your situation reminds me a lot of the one my husband has been in regarding religion. He was raised as a JW, but quit the cult when he was 18 (he is now nearly 32). Anyway, within just the past few years, he's really let his mother know what he thinks about her "religion". It hasn't been easy, and she still holds hope in her heart that he will one day return to his roots, which, will never happen. Being raised the way he was affected him in so many ways. He's finally been able to begin the healing process due to all of the negativity and false information he was force-fed, being able to get over the anger of not having a normal, healthy childhood, all of the things he missed out on. The lies that were pounded into his head during those 18 years. Anyway, it's a really involved story...but your situation made me think of what we've gone through. If you feel in your heart that your parents need to know how you feel, then you need to do that for yourself, to bring peace within. Either way, I wish you much support and love as it isn't an easy road, which I'm sure you already know. {{{Hugs}}}
There are some great posts in here. Libertine, it sounds like you and your wife are doing a great job with the kids. I can understand why your son is in that school. I always felt like a religion that doesn't want you to educate yourself about other religions is inherently insecure.. I was curious to see how you're going to address that end of things. Seems you've already got a handle on it. You never did answer my question..Do you think they'll decide to make you a project after the fact? hippychickmommy, congratulations to you and your husband. Not everyone can tear themselves away. Had to be tough.
Thanks! It's still a struggle at times. They (my husband and MIL) still have fights about the whole religion thing, she tried to sneak our oldest son to meetings and studies, and my husband put an end to that real quick. Our oldest son is just becoming aware of why his grandma will not come to his birthday parties. Poor little guy was sobbing hysterically about it the other day, saying he really wanted his grandma to be there on his special day because he loves her. And out of the mouthes of babes, he says in tears "I wish Jehovah was dead!" Poor little fellow.
I am positively sure they will do whatever it takes to convince me that I have "lost my way". But, the thing is that after three and a half years, I know where I stand and it's nowhere near where I once stood. I don't think I could even go back to that belief system if I wanted to.
Wish my family was christian, so I could torment them with my evil ways. Sadly my family thinks religion is bullshit. OH well
