New here have a question

Ok so I am almost twenty years old. I am joining the army. Physically I am a male, but I am almost certain that I am female inside. When i was younger 5-10 I used to braid my mother's hair help her with avon. Just stuff like that later on I started trying on my mothers and sisters clothing. Always identifying with the female gender. A couple of times my sister put make-up on me when I was sleeping yet I would wake up and still pretend to sleep for an excuse for it. My brother always said he thought I was gay, but that is not the case.

It is because when I was a kid I used to walk like a girl and talk like a girl at times. Even still I try as often as I can to wear women's clothing and put on make-up. I often wish I was born a female, I have never mentioned this to anyone. When I read porn I picture myself as the female, watching porn does not do anything for me. And when it is just a girl in a photo I picture that as me. I do not know what to do, I am confused and scared of how people will react. I once shaved my legs and my room-mate had to use the washroom so he came in. I guess he figured what I was doing and wrote fag on the mirror I was so scared. I later over heard him and his friends talking about me wanting to be a girl and stuff like that, often things to make fun of me.

Also I am joining the military, and considering making a transformation. But I do not know where to begin and do not want to put a career at risk. Any advice would be appreciated. I apologize for the novel, I just have alot of things inside me that I have left unsaid all my life.

 

I would suggest that if you are serious about this, you should not go into the military. It's still a very "manly" place where you could get more than just fag written on the mirror.

 

I understand that, but four generations of my family have been in the military. I have wanted to since I was a kid, although not infantry I am going to be a aerospace telecommunications and information tech. So I have to either give up my dream or give up who I am?

 

Or develope some really tough skin. Assuming you're in the US, you would have to hide who you are while in the service. Maybe not give it up completely, but wait until you're done. Are you attracted to men or women?

 

I live in Canada, and I am attracted to both females and males. I attracted to personality more than anything.

 

your bi, and a crossdresser..
Crossdressing personalities are usually creative..

probable a good field for you.. if I was you I wouldnt worry abou it. there are CD/TV that are straight aswell..

 

I'm not sure what the rules are in Canada. Here they can kick you out if it's found out that you're gay. Even bi. I would see if you can find anybody that is gay and has gone through the Canadian Army. Find out their experience. I'm not sure of the attitudes there in Canada. Would you want to surgically switch genders or do you just like to dress up sometimes?

 

Canada Ending Anti-Gay Army Rules
Published: Friday, October 11, 1991

http://www.nytimes.com/1991/10/11/world/canada-ending-anti-gay-army-rules.html
Responding to the pressure of court cases, the Government is about to end a policy of barring homosexuals from joining the armed forces, senior military officials say.

 

So it's legal, but how are the men in his unit going to take it sleeping near someone who identifies with being a woman. It scares guys, and when men are scared they often react violently.

 

Thank you for the link. Alleviates one concern, although I have a few others regarding the military. I.E. I do not know if I would be allowed to grow my hair out etc. things like that. Although my main thing is I do not know where to start in coming out of the closet so to speak.

 

Wish I could help you. I don't really know how it works in the Canadian Army.

 

What about in general diregarding the whole army thing. That is the thing I have been struggling with I am too scared about what people will think.

 

How is homosexuality and alternative lifestyles accepted in your community. I live in the south of the US, about the worst place to live if you are anything other than white protestant. My brother worked with a man that was gay and a drag queen. He said that it was hard, but he was able to deal with it. The only problem was that he had to go to the city if he wanted to dress as a woman. Most people accept "different" people as long as the differences aren't shoved in their faces. But hiding who you are is not always an option. Tell me a little about your community.

 

they dont think anything,, so what you wear panties and paint your face.. So does Ronald Mcdonald. :hat:
its a costume and your mind is the only thing thats telling you theres something wrong with wearing womens clothes..

Women wear womens clothes and their not complaining..
Seriously you should see a gender psychologist. Or keep your pants on...

 

^^^^ One of my favourite movies of all time.
I think, Orison, that you are giving him advise from the way things should be. I think he wants to know what to expect. And not all people are as open minded as most of the people you will find here.

 

florida has a TS/TV community :") ?another movie is Birdcage, but where hes from there probable isnt any real network..

Ive done preformed in drag many times, but im straight. I dont have a problem with clowning around.. But I figured I liked to be funny long time ago and I like girls so much its fun immitating them. Lol... you know girls get turned on by drag too..
i was also in tje army.

 

this is a weird pic.. Its usually what one looks like the next morning..

 

Other guys are more willing to accept someone just clowning. If you are a man who truely identifies as a woman, that's different. People don't understand it and it freaks them out.
Canada is more accepting of things than the US is, but I'm sure some places are better than others, just like here. I'm sure a community can be found, but you may have to go outside of your town.

 

I went to a drag show in Mexico and there was this one girl, you would have no idea she was born a man. Tall, slender, just plain gorgeous. And I mean gorgeous for a woman, not just for a man turned woman. Super model looks.

 

first step is to go outside find a GLTG group. they are in the phone books, clubs listed on the internet..