I'm about to be 21 years old, I've done oral with a few guys and absolutely loved it although I was nervous sometimes, and there was also guys I didn't find attractive. I started thinking about guys in HS, my best friend was gay and we got a long really well. I was straight until I met him. After about a month being friends with him I started having feelings for him and had no idea what to do, I was always told homosexuality is wrong and I didn't think it was right at the time but after some time I just had enough courage to tell him I was having feelings. We never dated, but he said I should just explore and see if I liked it. So I explored with him, just oral and I loved it. I soon then realized I really like him but he graduated and left. I think I would have tried a relationship with him. So here I am years later and I'm wanting to come out and try a relationship with a guy and see how it goes. I just don't know how to go about it, and I don't feel comfortable telling my family right now or anytime soon. I know I will be seen different in their eyes. I do feel better though that I told myself I am strongly attracted to guys and giving head and that I am bisexual, I felt a weight life off my shoulders when I accepted who I am. So how should I go about finding a nice guy?
First off, telling your family and all your friends about your being gay or bi should NOT be topping your priority list. You want to test the waters, establish the facts, see where this all takes you to and share the news, if and when you feel safe and comfortable about it. No one has got any right to know about your sexual life, unless you choose to grant them that right. Second off, the HS is over. You know that. Leave that great experience in the realm of memories and move on to having a good, fulfilled and enjoyable life now. Third off, finding a nice guy sounds like a good idea. Basically, define your notion of "nice". Is this a college dude of your age who shares the same interest in music, sports, etc. or is it a more mature dude who may share some of his life experience with you. Are you looking into dating a jock, nerd, silver fox, guy next-door,...? Do not go into being too strict on whom are you looking for but define some general framework. Hit the dating sites on the web. Hit your local gay venues. See, if there is anything like a gay sports or any other club you may be interested in. Be smart and leave no stone unturned. We are all entitled to our luck in life, in particular, if we know how to help it, too Be prepared to take it nice, slow and easy. A few dudes out there are dishonest, flakes, fakes, selfish bastards, etc. That comes with the territory. Learn how to shrug off with your shoulders and NOT waste your time and emotions over them. There are loads and loads of genuinely great guys out there and you are looking for one of them, so get going KD
Thanks for the advice. I don't plan on telling my family and friends anytime soon, I have only told a few select female friends and they all told me, "I never would have guessed!" Nice as in a mature dude that I can share my experiences with but can have fun at the same time. I'm not being to picky or anything like you said. I might go to a gay club here with a female friend, well, we're dating actually but she doesn't care about my sexuality and wants me to do whatever makes me happy.
IMHE, taking a gf with you to a gay club is mostly counterproductive. Actually, having anyone tag along is counterproductive. People both fear and intensely dislike rejection and they do not know that you may not be that picky. So, they are likely to shut you off even before you have had your chance. Try doing something on your own KD
