my wife's 1st time?

I'm sure I'll sound terribly ill-informed with this question. It was hard to search for this more nuanced information so i thought I'd ask those with more first-hand experience.

I fell in love with E the first time I had it, and I had it intermittently over a couple years; around half a dozen times. I've always had a substantially higher tolerance to drugs and alcohol than those with whom I partied, so I can't really know what dose is appropriate for my wife from my own experience, esp. since I understand than women can be more sensitive to e and other drugs/alcohol. My wife seems to even be more sensitive to alcohol and caffeine than other women.

She's not really a fan of drugs for her own use; she's always been cool with me and drugs though, and is pro-legalization; she's even smoked some of my homegrown a couple times, indicating displeasure with it because of her reluctance to give up some control of her mind and self, and just not really liking altered states of consciousness.

But after telling her about my acid trips-the spiritual ecstasy and coexistence with god and all creation, etc.- she became more curious about the potential of a drug like lsd. I posted the links to my trip stories below; not to self-promote, just to share. I dutifully informed her that my experiences were not typical, and if she had a hard time giving up control on weed, well...lsd might not be the best choice.

http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=291512&page=1

http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=301550&page=1


Instead I wondered if E would be a suitable alternative, since what she was attracted to was the idea of being united together as husband/wife in a more profound and ecstatic way than what she's used to.

If you're still reading by now, my question is how big a dose to give her? I want 1.5-2 due to my natural high tolerance, but for her I was thinking of 1/2 a pill. Again, she has a low tolerance even for a girl, so any comments from roller-ettes will be especially valued. but I also want to know what the guys have seen.

I don't want to sample the pills due to sparse quantity, but my friend says they are decent quality and he had a great roll. thanks everyone

 

I am a woman and I have a low tolerance for alcohol and pot. Ecstasy is by far my favorite drug, nothing compares to it. I think it is a good choice for her. I think LSD or shrooms would be a bad choice, since hallucinating is scary and you can have a bad trip. But with ecstasy (as long as it is REAL MDMA) is an awesome, euphoric experience. And I also feel more bonded with whoever I take it with, so that is another reason it's good for couples. Plus, kissing and massaging is like heaven! As for the dose that she should have, I think it should be one pill, no more and no less. But I also think that you should try the pill out first, and make sure that it is not bunk or speed. That's all that has been going around here, and if it is speed she will have the worst time of her life and will probably resent you and never want to try anything again (and I wouldn't blame her). The reason for the one pill dose: if it is good E, that is all you need, and half might not be enough. If it is a bad (speed) pill, any more would make it much worse. Hope that helps! Let us know how it goes.

 

cool thanks. i'm getting 4 pills so I guess I could eat one to sample, then later give her one and I could take 2. woohoo! yeah that's probably the way to go since she is so new to drugs and I really don't want her to have an unpleasant time. good stuff.

 

Ask him what 'base' it is.

Usually this means two things.

He'll usually say heroin based, which means there is no heroin in it. It's something made up to describe the MDMA, or MDA or a few other chemicals. Most likely the MDMA.

Or he'll tell you there speed based. In which case there is probably speed in there. That's up to you. because coming down sucks, and is neruotoxic in higher amounts .

Or he might tell you theres no such thing as a 'base' unless theres speed in a pill, in which case you have a dealer who knows what their talking about, which probably indicates he's pretty straightforward too.

Two pills a piece sounds good. I'd actually probably go with 5 if I was you. 1 1/2 initial drop, and the other 1 in 45 minutes.

A nice long happy peak.

 

thanks man. he's not a dealer or knows anything about the chems. He's a longtime friend who happens to have them and he says they're good and his comedown was nice. Ima give him a few oxys as a trade. there's no reason for him to present the pills in such a way that I'm more willing to buy them or anything. It's just the 4 tabs; i guess i don't really need to be too weird about and just have my wife take 1 and i"ll take 2-3 or maybe just 2 and save the one for later, I dunno.

 

If you're going to do two, its better to stagger them (for complex reasons I wont get into

So take one, wait until you start feeling the comeup (not the peak.. the first effects), then pop the other one. Also, abstain from eating for 2 hours before, and drink a bit (a BIT!) of OJ or pineapple juice just before you dose.

Dont tell her beforehand, but if she feels nauseous let her know that's normal and not a big deal... it will go away. If you warn her about it beforehand, it might happen as a psychosomatic effect.

 

thanks, kalacrow. that is useful information.

arrrggh..my friend who got the e's lives in utah so he put them in the mail to get them to me (we've done this at least a dozen times with skunky herb, oc's in the package and we've always received it on the other end. i think it's fun to send that shit right under their nose ) But anyway, I was for sure expected it today and it didn't come. anger ensued. But he informs me that he sent some to his buddy in St. Louis, which is even closer, and he hasn't received his yet either. So I'll assume it's a holiday slowdown or something. I just wish they ran the mail on sunday. Guess I'll just be a whiny bitch all weekend, or drink more gin.

 

Ruh-ro. Let us know how it turns out.

 

good luck fingers crossed for a beautiful trip for both of you !!

 

There was some glitch with using the "go advanced" thing to attach photos, so I put the pic on my profile page, so you see it if you click on my username I guess.
****
so I got the goods today

I'm justing posting pics of them for fun, I don't really expect anyone to know specifics about them. We always had good pills in Utah, I think because in Utah most of the imports of that nature came straight out of L.A., up the I-15 corridor. We always had good bud available because it came from cali, too.

The ones on the left are orange dolphins, the ones on the right are internet explorers, but are actually a light purple color with brown flecks. They only appear orange because the 'phins are dusty and they jizzed on the e's.

My non-dealer friend tried both and had nothing but good to say about them; the orange ones are a bit speedier than the purple ones. I'm going to eat 1 of the purple to test it, then my wife'll have the other purp when the time comes that we both do it. At that point, I'll drop one phin and as it kicks in take the other? Or 1.5 then .5?

 

so YEAH...I'm a rollin fool about now. Actually I'm coming down a bit but feelin groovy. during an orgasm, my mind spewed forth a vivid montage about certain socio-political, yet esoteric realities that involve global humanity. Mostly, that we all want to be free to enjoy our harmless habits and don't want to encroach on others' entitlement to theirs. Nobody naturally wants to hurt anybody, that's a manufactured emotion; just one strand in the endless web of artifices we use in an attempt to create a "stable" world for ourselves.

This seclusion from the natural world engenders so much fear in us about unknown things and unknown people...blah blah, all the other bombastic stuff we all tell each other. I could rant about it all day to people who already know the lesson....but this thrill of an epiphany on my friend molly (not really molly but yknow), it did something that any psychedelic, (or as I call them, entheogens) should do, which is take a pervasive and far-reaching thought, too big and too ubiquitous and too deep-rooted to easily grasp with the conceptual mind, and turn you into it. To make you become it, grafted into the same tree of existence that connects us all.

When you are exposed to it in this sense, fear is non-existent. you fear no one because you feel your connection to them, no matter what corner of the planet they may be on.

To everyone of hipforums and to all the world: my only desire for you is to do what you LOVE. Do it conscientiously, think about how it effects all living and nonliving matter around you as you do it. It sounds silly, but think about whether your actions consume life from those around you, or whether it adds life and vibrancy to them; think about whether your actions send out positive energy or whether they send out negative energy.

and not just actions: thoughts, words, attitudes, what you pay attention to....it's all connected and there is an energy balance; let us all tune into the same vibration frequency, and that frequency is the same one that binds together the animals in the wild, the sun to the earth, the soil and clay beneath our feet...it's the frequency of LOVE and TRUST. it needs no fine-tuning, no red-tape, no government, no religious prescriptions. It's there, connecting us the way it always has. It's the only thing we all have in common.

sorry for sounding like a boob and proclaiming all these things as if they are new and as if you need to hear it...well they're not new, but fuck yeah you need to hear it. So do I , on a daily basis. Once we're all tuned in we won't need reminders.

Goodbye for now my brothers and sisters in humanity....I can't tell you how much I love you without writing another lengthy post.

 

so now i'm on my pda phone, out on the backporch, listening to and smelling the luxurious seattle drizzle, smokin some white widow, suckin on a vicks inhaler, listening to Evren Ozan. i'm doing other fun stuff too, just wanted to say one more thing:there were a lot of people killed in WWII. that's a lot of life-energy being exhausted from humanity. where did it go? will they be interrmitently making small appearances to rectify things one at a time, or will all that soul energy come back to hit the world in one blast of karmic commeupance. but not the final one; there is no final one

 

Whoa, you get all philosophical on drugs, don't you? So you need to tell us the most important thing: how did your wife like it? Was it even good ecstasy?

 

i'm always philosophical. most drugs just remove the filters so it tends to spill out.I was actually just testing the experience so I could more properly guide my wife through it. I just took one of the purple i'net explorers, and yes, it was incredible stuff; perhaps only because I haven't had e in so long. I felt the filler drugs a bit on the comeup but once it kicked in and I started moving around all I felt were the undulating vibes of the e that I always knew. maybe it was the residual fire from my dances with lucy, but it was rapturous and I came down smooth.

 

Just give her a good dose of shrooms and rip that control right out from under her feet

 

Ry, actually after this roll she had I'm convinced she has what it takes to trip well even on LSD. She seriously impressed me with the internal compass she listened to rather than my long-winded ass. I had no idea she would be "shown" eternally relevant things. She received a celestial montage; the way she described the progress of the imagery in just a couple hours is the way I could describe the more gradual progression of visions I've received since the age of twelve. First, random fuzzy patterns, then random shapes, which turned into a consistent cyclical theme, which she integrated with.

I'll go into more specifics when I have more energy (I'm burned right now not from the E, but from fuckin oxys...). If my wife's up to it, I'll have her type something too.

The only thing I can say about a comedown on her part is that she feels a bit lonely. I told her that she is still vulnerable to the same influences as on E, and if she does something to reconnect, it will help. Like meditating to soft music or anything that frees up the mind, gets you out of your rountine, and helps you drift back to the basic state of being.

 

Nice man, I'm glad it went over well.

 

Thanks, cat. One of the things I told her before the roll is that unlike LSD, during and after the comedown, you tend to have a yearning for "it" to come back. You seem to come to the conclusion that it was merely a chemical that made you feel good, and may easily forget the essence and value of the experience.

She confirmed such feelings I believe two days later. I don't really know how much she questioned the legitimacy of the experience, but said she felt like it wasn't really real and that the regular fixed reality is all she could conceive as being valid. But while she was adrift in ethereal bliss at the time she completely forgot her native existence, to a greater degree than she had forgotten that sublime state once she'd returned. She knows it was genuine, but it's out of reach.

I have noticed us being more affectionate, intimate, more empathetic. We told each other that both of us are high performers, in a situation in which 110% of our efforts are required for total success, and that I can't ask her for extra help with my duties any more than she can ask me for help with her work. I think that realization elevated our r'ship to a higher degree.

I won't use lengthy narratives or abundant superlatives like I did with my acid stories, just a few highlights of the event.

the day we apparently had set to roll I had forgotten, possibly due to oxy-amnesia. There was another couple that intended to roll with us, but they couldn't find any and cancelled. J, my wife, asked me if I still wanted to do it that night or wait until they could score and join us. I honestly didn't care; to me, rolling was a matter of alone vs. with people. Whether it was one person or twenty was irrelevant to me. I did hesitate because I wondered if there would be cross-seratonin depletion or something due to my oxy indulgence during the few preceding days, and that I wouldn't feel the roll.

The thing I did care about was her having the best possible roll, and maybe even establishing a new link between us that hadn't been there before because of her reticence about drug-related activities. As we discussed the plan, she indicated that her workday was peppered with eager thoughts about doing the roll that night, and that she was going to feel something new, and she was mentally prepared to take the leap that night. At this I was struck with the suspicion that there was already a higher force involved, and I was being called upon to take a leap as well in spite of my oxy-related ambivalence. It was a thrilling and exciting thought to know that there would be more to this experience than I had devised.

She swallowed the one remaining purple i'net explorer roll (after staring at it for 10 minutes), and I parachuted one of the orange dolphins. I figured if it was weak for me, it's better to waste just one pill than two. I obviously felt it come on before she did. It was a speedier pill that's for sure, and I think I might have felt less of the E therein because i snorted some oxy a little before rolling, stupidly thinking it would "reset" my brain and make it fully available to the E. After the oxy wore off I rolled much better.

It took a long time for hers to kick in. She didn't bat an eyelid for an hour and fifteen minutes. I wondered if her receptors weren't active since she does no drugs normally, but she eventually said "okay it's starting to kick in," and joined me on the floor. I wasn't settled into the roll yet at this point, so we just held hands on the floor, I imagined myself as a link in a chain and encouraged her to envision herself the same way, but she didn't need that sorta help. She started to say it was very relaxing, dissipating, and that this was much better than weed. This is what a drug should be, she said.

We then had transcendent sex, which coalesced all the uncertain sensations in me and smoothed out the roll. J was on her cell phone playing solitaire and asked "so what do we do now?" I said "well not solitaire."

I told her to lay on the couch and we'll just talk. I put on some ambient music, which she'd always enjoyed but now was saying that she really understands why I like ambient/minimalism so much. It pours through you; it turns you into something else, especially in this condition.

I told her to imagine herself as a windsock blowing in the wind or something, to which she asked me to stop talking. I agreed; I didn't know how much help she needed. After all she had been playing solitaire. I realized I had helped just by providing this certain setting, and I could abandon any other coaching. SHe had an internal compass guiding her, the same that I had on acid.

I was deeply humbled and grateful for where she went at this point. She said she was amazed that everything about herself, her job, and responsibilities was able to dissolve away and that she could drift freely, to simply exist. She was in a relatively vacant and fluid state, with nothing tangible to remark on. I had even asked her if she "saw" anything, which she didn't.

But then her ride started taking more form. She said she was a cat curled up on a sectional couch with three angled windows letting sunlight pour in. She said it was deeply pleasant and familiar, and she said she thinks she was a cat in a recent life. This wasn't suprising to me; if I had to pick an animal that she resembled it'd be a cat for sure. She asked me what I think I was in a recent life. i said I thought I was a giant redwood or fir tree, growing tall and old, soaking up information surrounding me. This wasn't a spontaneous suggestion; it dates back to low dose shroom trips four years ago and was reinforced by LSD this year. She said it was incredible that I knew that, and incredible that she could describe in detail what she looked like as a cat, even the signature pattern on the fur. It wasn't just imagination, it was simply plucked out from the cryptic archives of her subconcious and displayed in open vision for her to view and to be.

We wondered what the kids might have been in recent lives. My daughter the two year old seemed like a flower, but J insisted that she was a butterfly, and I had to agree; that was much more like her personality. She's always hovering from toy to toy, checking on each stuffed animal asking it if it's okay, then leaving as soon as she came.

the 11-month-old son didn't come to us as quickly. I couldn't envision it, and after a while J vaguely saw him as some small mammal, a rodent or a groundhog, but that those didn't really sound right. I thought, hmmm, and went to picture of the kid on the wall. I just looked at his face and waited to see if anything came to me. Sure enough, I saw that there were definite impressions of long ears sticking up out the top of his head. I told J that all I could see is that he had pointy long ears sticking up, and her eyes went wide, "that's it! He was a rabbit." I was filled with rapture and wonder that we were in synch like this. this was no ordinary roll.

So this thing with past lives was only the beginning of something incredibly profound for both of us, and fortunately it's not terribly abstract so I can put it into words to a satisfactory degree. But it's freakin late right now and I'm losing the ability, and I want to respect it by writing it with my full strength.

thanks to anyone reading this; it brings it all back for me when I write so don't feel bad if you merely skimmed through. I'll resume this asap. peace to all under the sky

 

This is the wife...

I just read my husband's (herin I will refer to him as "A") post about my E experience. I thought I'd chime in a bit. He mentioned a bit about my "visions". There was a series of 4 things that I kept seeing over and over again. The first, like A mentioned, was a cat sitting in a bay window. I was the cat. I was curled up on the back of a couch that was in the bay window with my back to the room and just soaking up the sun. The next vision was Queen Elizabeth I of England. She was standing alone. I was her. The next vision was a tall building standing alone on an solitary island in the middle of the ocean. You could see nothing but the building on the island. I was the building. The final vision was of an Indian Chieftan in full headdress sitting on a horse. He was solitary in the plains. I was the Chieftan. I was impressed with how clearly I could see all of these things. They played over and over in my head and I started seeing some similarities in them when I started to see something new in each of them.

I'll start with the cat, cause that was the first vision. The cat was sitting on the back of a sectional sofa that fit neatly in a 3 sided bay window. I was a calico cat. My underneath was white, and I had large splotches of black, brown & orange all along my head, neck, & back. Every once and a while, a hand would come in from behind me and stroke my back (mind you I was the cat). Each time the hand touched the cat, she felt relaxed. I took the hand to be A.

The next vision was again of Queen Elizabeth I of England. She was standing facing forward as if she were posing for a portrait. She had a look on her face that conveyed power and independence. She was standing with her hands joined in front so a triangle was formed with her forearms and breasts. Every once and a while there was a gentleman standing behind her with one hand on her shoulderblade. Each time he touched her, she felt stronger. Again I took that to be A.

Now to the island. It was a blueish grey glassy building with 3 wings. The center wing was very tall and came to a point at the top. The other two wings angled inward so the building looked like sort like a widened out U shape. Each of the wings had triangular jut outs that faced a central courtyard with a 3-tiered fountain. Every once and a while I could see a second island just behind the building that was covered in thick rainforest- like plant life. It looked like someone had cut a section right out of the Brazilian rainforest and stuck it right behind me. Every time I could see the island, I felt like the building belonged. I took this other island to be A.

The last was the Indian Chieftan. He was again sitting on a horse in the wide open plains. He was alone in the picture. He had on a tall feathered headdress. He was proud and powerful, unaffected by his solitude. Every once and a while a Tee-Pee would show up behind him. Tee-Pees as you know a triangular. Every time I could see the Tee-Pee the Chieftan felt more comfortable.

All of the visions were of solitary figures that are powerful in their own right. Figures that nature made strong. In each there is a source of strength, comforting, belonging. So many times in my life I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have a very demanding job that comes with a lot of responsibility. I always know that I have A standing right behind me giving me the strength that I need to power forward.

One other thing all of this made me realize is that powerful figures always stand alone. You can not have power when you are surrounded by masses. I am very ambitious and have lofty goals in my carreer. If I want to accomplish those goals, I need to stand apart from my counterparts as a figure of power and strength.

I still have not been able to figure out the importance of the triangle and the constant recurrence of the number 3. I am sure there is significant meaning in it, but I haven't pinpointed it yet. I'll have A post it when we figure it out.

This whole experience was definitely not what I expected. I feel closer to A than I think I ever have. I understand something now that I don't think I every truly appreciated before. A is a central part of my being. He is always there for me and will always be there. He is the source of my fountain. Though I may appear to be solitary, he is always there just out of the view of the camera. This whole week since the roll, I've started to realize just how much he does to keep the family going. I don't think I every truly appreciated just how much he does.

Okay, that's enough for now.

 

One crazy thing that I almost forgot happened to me during the roll:

I was feeling euphoric from the interchange with J, insomuch that I thought my mind could embrace any topic and I would have joyous insight on it, so I thought about my dad, and in an instant my soul was shredded away, leaving a horrible void in me. Surprised and overwhelmed, I knew I needed to relax and accept the feeling.

Then I heard my 2-year-old wake up and cry in the next room. So I went to her door and she had already been saying "daddy...daddy..daddy," in an unusual tone. Not excited, but concerned and forlorn. I went in to her and she kept repeating "daddy," as she stared into my eyes, then her eyes fell closed and she fell back asleep.

As I went to use the bathroom, the wretched feeling before became relevant. When I cast my idea of "dad" over the person in my mind who happens to be my dad, it was like the role of "dad" was no longer existent in the sense of when I was young. It shattered, was torn away, and he was just a person. My Superego, as freud called it, had always deemed that person my dad, and at that moment my Id annihilated that mental imprint, to reveal him as a brother in humanity.

I felt an outpouring of love and appreciation for him, since I saw him separate of the definitions of society, and I no longer felt the Oedipal need to challenge him and make up for his mistakes and prove to him his own ideological irrelevance. I wanted to tell him that the same fire within me telling me what I'm doing is right is precisely the same fire that compelled him to do everything he'd done his whole life. We weren't inspired by different forces, just have different neural wiring and thus different modes of output by the same energy source, and had different callings and responsiblities in our respective generations and eras.

I can only assume I transmitted the feeling of raw dissipation of the Superego's definition of "father" to my 2-year-old and she was too young and still too dependent on me as her father so she must have wanted to make sure I was still there, the same as she'd always known.