I am here for some advice about my current situation... I have been good friends with this guy, Tyler, for almost five years now. We have a ton in common, and we know each other pretty well. I liked him as more than a friend over the summer, but when i went off to college my mind focused elsewhere, and for the most part I lost my feelings for him. I never told him i liked him or anything, never tried to pursue anything because i figured he did not share the same feelings. Like at the end of summer one night he slept over, in the same bed, only boxer and i only had a shirt and shorts on, and nothing happened. Well i went home for christmas break, and tyler and I hung out right when i got home. We just chilled at my house and smoked a few bowls, we sat on my bed and listened to some music while we talked. Then we ended up laying on my bed and i pulled the covers over me. We were just laying there talking, I didnt even think anything of it until he began touching my leg lightly. Before I knew it we were making out and other things happened. The next night the same thing happened again, it ended up happening three times over christmas break. Then after that he never made an attempt to hang out with me alone, we hung out together, but it was always with a bunch of people which was really frustrating for me. He never made an attempt to hang out alone until the day i left for college again, and i was already gone. Puzzled me. I went home again after being at college for a month, and one night tyler and my other friend came over. Our other friend fell asleep and then tyler began touching my leg and more happened. I have been meaning to ask him what is going on.. if he is just a horny 19 year old or if he really likes me, but i havent been able to yet because i havent been home. and i am nervous about asking him whats up because whenever an issue is brought up to him he gets very awkward and i really think he is scared of his emotions. yes, he is somewhat immature, but i think i still may be falling for him. I am going home this weekend and part of me is really hoping that something more happens. I am also planning on talking to him about what has been going on. But there is one main thing that is holding me back. Him and one of my other good friends have had a fling in the past, and i think she still likes him. She has no idea that anything has happened between tyler and i, and i am sure if she found out it would cause some drama. I know its hard to tell and give advice, i did the best i could at explaining, but does this guy sound worthy, or does it just sound like he wants a piece of ass? He has made the first move every time. I don't know if i should bring things up and make it kind of awkward, or just stop messing around with him, move on and find someone here at college, avoiding the drama. Thank you Peace and Love Orchid
Well chicka, it sounds to me as though he wants you for the fun. I mean one minute he's all over you and then the next he's gone and tryin' to avoid alone time. If it were me that'd be my way of goin' about the friends with benefits thing. But it is possible that he really likes you and can't get over how you are such good friends, he may be afraid of actually getting involved because of your current relationship, I'd suggest feeling out the waters next time you go home. If he tries to make a move ask him to go to a movie or somethin', don't let him get into your pants again without first finding out what exactly he wants, tell him that if he wants you he'll have to play by your rules, basically. Men when let alone to their own devices are very uncapable of having good relationships. You just gotta find out what his intentions are. I mean if all you want to do is go and fool around with him then thats up to you, but if you want to really find out wether he's worthy of you you gotta stick the spear in and find out if he's done Thats my two cents hope it helps you a bit.
Thank you Indy Hippie, that helps me a lot. Yes, when I go home this weekend I do need to talk with him about this. Yeah, of course fooling around is a lot of fun, but that is not all i want, I would like it to mean something as well. Ill post again once I talk to Tyler
Yeah I have been thinking about that a lot too. If he doesn't want anything more than sex im ending it right there.
