my recent disappearance and return

hey guysss.

I have been in Tulsa for about a week or so. for my fiance's funeral. I just .. haven't been functioning to be honest, and still really am not. but I'm back with me computer now, so I'm back here.

he passed on Christmas day. he announced the engagement to like his entire extended family on Christmas eve. his mom and grandparents knew before that, but .. yeah.

I was coming down there to see him in January, and then we were going to do the official thing, with the ring and all, even though he'd already proposed beforehand.

idk. I'm just .. not okay. life is weird.

he was 19 years old.

 

I am so sorry. I can't even begin to understand what that would be like.

 

im sorry....

if i was you i would go into a depression id rather not say. mass drugs would be involved.

keep your head up.

 

sorry..thats a hard thing to go through

 

Sorry. Sending love your way.

 

I'm very sorry, their are never any words but you'll be in my prayers.

 

thanks guys.

he was just. the best person. perfect for me. we've known each other five years and I have no idea what I did to deserve his love.

His name is Patrick Jeremy McClure, but really his name is PJ and he died December 25, 2008. He was a bassoon player. He was the funniest person in the world. At least 300 people attended his funeral.

the world is just. really missing something now.

 

Im sorry Kacie. hang in there, friend.

 

how did it happen?

 

i'll do the only acceptable thing and put myself in his stead and marry you in june.

 

that's something that I don't know yet.
they just found him in the chair in front of the computer. he had his glasses off in his lap like he does when he's napping, but when they tried to wake him up he was already a little cold.

 

I'm sorry

 

he loves you even now, kacie.

good luck and I wish you the best.

 

I am so sorry. What a horrible thing to happen, and on Christmas day. I would be devastated.

 

this is the tattoo I got for him.

 

wow, i'm really sorry to hear that. i'm sure you are numb right now.

keep strong and take in all the love people are pouring into you right now.

 

I don't really know you well, and theres no pretty words I can say which'll make things any better.

But your in my thoughts Kacie. No matter what, just think about how lucky you were to have the time with the person you loved. He was lucky too. I know it's tragic, but he was obviously deeply loved by you and many, and that love he shared with you and his friends will be eternal. He's at peace now, and he'd want you to be comforted.

I know you can't be comforted right now and I'm truly sorry. I do tell you one thing I know...things will get better. I promise.

 

thanks for all the kind words and thoughts, guys.

idk. it just .. helps to talk about him. now that I'm back in Colorado, where nobody knew him, there isn't much of an outlet for me to do that.

 

I am so sorry