My poor bf :(

My bf, Adam, is an artist...his work is really unique...and since art is subjective, a lot of people like his work, and an equal number don't get it or don't like it.

He had a show opening on Friday and there were very few people there. He had put up hundreds of fliars, given out postcards and posted the event on myspace, etc.

So the day comes, and no one shows up...three people that I know showed up...and only about a dozen more people showed up to see his work or support him. Even some of his so-called friends. He's really depressed about it and realizes that some of the friends he thought he had, aren't really friends after all.

He's such a nice guy and doesn't understand why people won't come to his shows...I believe it's apathy...he thinks people just don't like his work.

Anyone have any advice on making him feel better? I don't believe it's him at all...I just think he has really crappy friends, either that...or people are just really apathetic about art...I've tried talking to him about it, but he still just thinks his art sucks. I think it's great...even before I met him, I thought his art was great.

 

I think not, ya get what ya get. So what are you looking for here?

But...Anyone have any advice on making him feel better?

Since your his gf a bj might make him forget hes a loser for a few seconds.

 

Seems like people just don't want to participate in things as much anymore, I doubt it really has anything to do with his work. Poor guy.

 

maybe his "friends" just dont like art... i think its pretty tough to find people that are gonna goto a art show of an unknown artist.. let alone goto a art show by a famous artist... its one of them things thats tougher to promote as less people are interested in it today compared to years ago...

 

I have no idea in which medium he's working,but that's the thing with the arts--very subjective like you said.Unfortunately ,his friends may have made their judgement about his art by staying away.Maybe a differant venue?(or differant friends!)Differant medium in which to express his artistic sensabilities?If he's any good at all,it's a matter of putting his work where the right people will see it.Artists should'nt have to deal with the "buying" public.At least the ones I have met and known.They don't like it.--------I don't know how to make him happy----just encourage him to keep hackin' at it.Sorry for the lame advice .Good luck----------scratcho---------

 

hmm, i do have sympathy for him..... any artist (be it painter, writer, musician etc) that wants to find an audience for their work will tell you that the stress, frustration and downright hard work that goes into presenting their work is often worse than the creative process itself .... statistically, gathering public awarenss of your work (not to mention, actually making some $$'s) is about the same as having a win on the lottery ........ there are a million+ people out there splashing paint onto canvas right now... only about 0.1% of those paintings will ever be glanced at by more than their family and close friends tho'.

A tiny minority of artists get rich and famous..... a few more manage to scratch out a living through exposure and sales.... some poor buggers work only gets "discovered" after they have worked all their lives and finally shrug off this mortal coil and are spending eternity pushing up daisies.... to say it's a fickle business is an understatement.

Best advice i can give to him is for you to try to get his mind out of the "must have a successful show" track. Get him to use this fabulous publicity tool (the internet), he won't make any cash but he will get some feedback, and maybe find a target audience..... but most importantly of all.... get him to get his paintbrush, or wotever, back in his hand and get him working again...... he might not have had any success with the last show, but if he lets that experience sour him and strip the passion from his creativity....he's gauranteed never to have any success at all.... help him fall in love with his work again

 

his friends were probably just busy.... all of my friends have the most bizarre schedules and it's hard for them to make a lot of things

 

I've never been in a relationship with an artist before...so I guess I'm just not sure what to do when things go wrong...when people that say they're going to show up (even when he talks to them THAT DAY) and they don't...

I don't like rejection...and I can only imagine what went through his head when people he's supposed to be able to count on, don't come through.

I guess it just makes me sad because I feel like he deserves so much more than that.

 

To expand a little on what I mentioned about artists having to hawk their own work--it's excruciating to be face to face with people who are judging your work --it's ,I suppose ,like saying "here's my soul,here's my life,this is what I spend my time doing,is my time spent worth your money?what do you think of me?Am I worthy?Shit,that's got to be hard as hell,especially if one hopes to make a living at it---then it's"do I get a job?",is this worth it?My advice is for someone to represent him when he shows.And get some consignment places so he can just concentrate on getting his work done and perfected .Hope this helps.--scratcho----------

 

I would suggest telling him to get a real job, and paint in spare time until something happens with it. I see using art as a way to get famous or wealthy about as sensical as playing video games to get famous or wealthy. Art is supposed to be a creative outlet. A hobby, not a carreer. It just happens to become a carreer for some.

 

Annie---you said you never lived with an artist before--I did--one of the most talented persons I ever met.She sold her 1rst batik for $200!I don't mean to make this about me,but she would not deal with the public under any circumstances!She was happy when I sold her things,but she didn't want to stand around with people blabbing about her work.To reiterate:he may need representation to distance himself from those on whose judgement(& $) he will depend on, to survive as an artist.

 

can we see some of his art?

 

Indescribability--Quote"Art is supposed to be a creative outlet.A hobby,not a career.It just happens to become a career for some".Yeah--I think you are mainly right--especially for those of us for whom Art is probably just a guy down the street.But in some--"It" burns in the gut like nothing else and consumes their every waking moment.My son #1 is driven like that for his music.He said to me "it's not that I want to play,I HAVE to play".Of course, most of us never make much of our artistic talents.Life gets in the way.I say"bravo"to those who have the passion to persevere,against tremendous odds!Now ,if a person is just not good ---that's another story.

 

Scratcho, please understand that with what I am about to say I am not making assumptions or passing judgement, simply posing a question.

Would you rather see your son work a menial minimum wage job that makes him merely enough to survive and leaves him plenty of time to attempt to pursue his carreer in music, or would you like to see him do something undoubtedly productive, without ignoring his passion for music, and hope his music eventually makes him enough to take precedence over his original carreer?

I have nothing against anybody who would pursue a carreer of artistic creativity, but I think most who do so defy logic. Never really considering the fact that for most it does not happen, until it is far too late in life. I do believe that a good carreer in something related to an artistic field is a good way to ensure a productive life and can help tremendously in networking with the proper people to become successful as an artist.

 

He's just got to keep making work that pleases him, and not do it to impress everyone else. Once he has refined his style, people will take notice. If you want something too badly, often times it won't work out....

And I'd say apathy is to blame. There is a reason most art openings have an assortment of fine wines and food

 

Yeah Indescribility--good question.He has a trade-mine--but he's a realist about making $ with his music.There are some things coming up for him--but he is thinking about school to become a music type engineer--which makes sense.I know a guy in Nashville whose dad was as big as anybody ever was in music(Duane Eddy--50s,and even now has fans in Europe)and he has been trying for years to make it--he's about 45--and just now is making a cd with M.Mcdonald's help.But it was even luck he hooked up with him--they met in church!So I know what you mean.Annie's bf may have a hard way to go,but you can never tell--there's a guy on the coast where I lived,in a town of 150,that paints at home,sends them to New york City and checks for thousands of dollars come back!Wotta life-eh?

 

Seamonster--I think what you said is on --it's like most wants-desires in life.If an attempt or attempts at whatever one wants, flows-then it's probably right.If one has to keep pushing and pushing and the endeaver doesn't flow ,then it's probably not supposed to be(as they say).Usually those around a person will let them know if they are good enough or if it's"hey ,nice hobby".

 

Was there booze? If not, perhaps a local winery in town would donate in exchange for their logo on all printed material.
argh I know how you feel I hate it when somone I am with puts everything they have into something and it doesn't work out you really burn for them.

 

YEs, please. Let us see his art. Most of you know that I am an artist of a sort and am married to an artist, and a very talented artist at that. She hadn't sold much at all until recently and I shared her frustrations. it takes time, and the most important thing is to get your work and YOUR NAME out there until the right person notices it.

I mean, let's face it. Most people wouldn't know talent if it crawled up their bung and kicked their ass from the inside out. But most people know what they like, even if it's dog's playing poker on black velvet. He needs to be recognized.

 

Well if I approach this like a character in my book I'd say have lots of joyous sex and then change the locks on your door. lol Now that I got that out of my system I'll tell you what you can do. You just keep being supportive of him and his work. Invite some of your friends to see his art and ask their honest opinions.(when you are alone with them, not with him present) You can also try taking them to another place like I know where I live there are art places where local artist are exhibited. You can even take one of his paintings to them and see what they think.