My mom is concerned.

I told my mom a few months ago that I want to go to the gathering this summer with my cousin. When I told her she seemed to be fairly open to the idea, but when I brought it up again a few weeks ago she made it out to be the worst plan possible.

She says she wasn't aware that it'd be a camp out for a week sort of thing, and that makes her really nervous. She doesn't think it'll be safe, especially for two young girls such as me and my cousin. She also doesn't understand why I'd even want to go, and I've tried to explain to her what the gatherings are about.

I'm not an irresponsible kid and I'm very honest with my mom. I can see her general concern in me going on a road trip across a few states, but not her concern about the gathering. My cousin's mom is pretty paranoid too, even more so than mine. It's really discouraged me. I just hope that in the end I'll end up able to go.

I just need some ideas for how to convince her it's safe. Any suggestions?

 

Your mom might be more open to if you it's more that just you and your cousin. If it was a larger group going with you it might make the difference.

 

She has actually mentioned that, but I don't know anyone here and I'm not so sure any of my cousin's friends would want to go. I'll talk to her about it though, hopefully we could find at least one person.

Thanks for the reply.

 

I understand your moms concern. you are 17 and that is very young to be going out to such a large event with just the two of you. i'd check to see if theres anyone in your area that is going, you -and- your parents would feel more safe with a group of ppl to look out for you and camp with.

 

Get a big group. At least 5. & always be in pairs.
<3

 

1 explain that its a family event, as in entire families, 3 generations of some go together, from newborns up, its very much kid freindly and many people have actualy grown up there, and been born there
explain how we police ourselves through shante sena, and although nothing can be 100% safe, the gatherings are 1 of the safest places on earth because we all care and watch out for eachother
i have personaly seen with my own eyes someone abandon theyre clothes (tell her wallet maybe not clothes..lol
) by the side of the trail with $1000 in the pocket/.... and retreived them cash and all 2 weeks later
nobody knew the dude...at least 20 knew about the cash...
they were never taken to lost and founbd just watched by the folks in the area....2 weeks later he comes back and lost nothing

however..2 ypung girls travelin alone..thats where the danger is. i suggest care in setting up safe travel plans
and prefferebly a group

where r u?
we should have a bus..and if your in our semi general path we'll swing on by
but perhaps u your cuz...and maybe 2-3 good freinds?
hey..u know i would watch out for ya if u wanna camp near us...wherever that might be..i kinda think might likje to be more over near kid villiage & indiginouse villiage this year...or i dunno, im really hopin to have a tipi or 2 by then too, so maybe tipi villiage? yea that would be perfect...unless ya wanna camp with us..then wherever....as long as its not miles from the drums

hey therre ya go..ya can tell your mom, that altho nobody can ever guarantee that nothing will ever happen to you, i will keep an eye on how ppl act around ya and make sure your ok and having a good time

you can also show her some of the movies online like the 1 on my myspace and theres like 12 or so hours on www.spunoneproductions.com (music too, and on http://rainbowtribe.net ) and she can really just see what its like ..the discovery chanel 1 maybe higher quaslity but i think isthe lamest..lol
well there is 1 other sorta weird film project like 1 too,,lol but most are awesome and the arizona 1 is amazing
ya kno what..i might even try gettin a radio & pluggin into shante sena this year to help keep things peaceful and happy in general for everyone

just tell mom, dont worry bout a thing, cause every lil thing gonna be alright...

bring mom with ya..

 

A lot of bad news and false information gets spread about the gathering, I think a lot of parents think it's some kind of crazy party circus where everyone has sex and does drugs. (Well, it kind of can be, lol!) However, the gathering is a fairly safe place compared to most cities and events of its size. It's family friendly and everyone looks out for each other, although there are always a few people who can give the rest a bad name.

Traveling with just the two of you at age 17 honestly does sound a little scary to me. My parents wouldn't have let me do it (which is why I didn't go to the gathering when it was in Idaho and I was 16 or 17). I would suggest getting a bigger group together, or bringing along someone older who's pretty responsible. Honestly I'd be more worried about the road trip than what happens after you get to the Gathering. Especially with the way the cops have been roadblocking and messing with people trying to enter the Gathering in the last few years...

Why not bring your mom or aunt with you? It could be a life-changing experience and would show them why you want to be a part of the Gatherings. Not that she'd probably come, but it's worth asking just to show her how serious you are about going....

Good luck!

 

.
a gal can always bring a good dog . one can give 30 bucks to the animal service registery and then can take a dog on busses if the dog isn't too big . my friend kate's dog is way insanely big for that so she hops trains but always with another friend too .

i have to register a goat .

.

 

Hey! I TOTALLY agree with Barter Mama, she speaks the wisdom...Howabout making it truly a "family" event for yourself, and inviting your Mom along!!! She's more than welcome obviously, and your cousin's mom too. You may not see the logic in such an arrangement at your age, but it is my opinion that it would create a stronger bond between you and at the same time, in a few years as you get older she'll be asking your "permission" to accompany you to the gathering!!!!!!!!! Pray on it all sister, and it'll turn out as it's supposed to. Trust the universe, she usually knows how to guide us when asked.

 

Yes a much better experience can come about when all involved going to a gathering
When all feel comfortable about themselves and others
Especially where parents are concerned
I also...think if you and your mother could go together might be just the thing

There is something 'magical' that does take place
It really can't be explained just in a few words
To each...their journey is different
But in the end you are one in 'Spirit'
Speakin in terms of what we are seeking
We are coming to gather for many things
But we find out we are all really in need of some of
same

In turn to our surprize we actually can see changes taking place in others
Each step is like one step closer
Like your posting here....just talking about gathering for peace ...harmony...healing is already making the 'magic'

Your communicating is another... for many haven't even managed that step
Your trying to understand the other's reasoning .. is the second step
The next step....you an her make it happen not just for one but for both of you
When your needs are met an her needs are met ...
You both will have a better understanding of what gathering is ...
It's starts with one coming to gather with another

I for one ...if it is possible please do experience this together (each for themselves as well)
Two healings not just one

But if not possible...do seek a comfort zone for the others abscence

Enjoy your gathering

Okay I babble too much

luvin' hugs

 

i dont suggest a 39 year old man to be picking up a 17 year old girl to go to a hippy gathering. That has fox news written all over it

 

If you'd have read the invite, it said 'we'....and you really should try to understand who you are talking to or about before you make judgemental statements, Magical Mushy....

 

Thank you all for the replies, they've been helpful.

I told her the first time I brought it up that I wouldn't mind her going with me...that would actually be fun I'll bring it up again to see how she reacts because I think she thought I was joking. I have a few friends in TX I could ask to meet us there, but I'm not sure they'd want to go or that their parents would allow it. It's still worth a shot though, and I'm definitely going to ask my cousin to bring it up to her friends.

Soaringeagle- thanks for the offer to pick us up, that's really kind, but it might make my mom even more nervous since she doesn't know you. It would be nice to have someone I'm semi-familiar with to camp near though. Is there anywhere I could look to see what all the different camps offer? And the only thing I'd like to be near enough to is a vegan kitchen, other than that I'd be fine anywhere

Again, thanks for the replies.

 

You and your mom are both fortunate that you feel comfortable enough with her to discuss this. Inviting her is a generous move and shows how much you love her and care for what she feels.

Chances are your mom may have done a little internet research or asked if anyone has heard of this thing that is foreign to her. There is more bad media than good, as with anything, she likely came across something that freaked her out. Maybe ask her if she's researched and if she found anything in particular that scares her, that will get a good discussion rolling.

I know you're SO excited to go there and feel drawn to be there. I know it feels like if you don't go right now you may never get there, but you will! You are showing compassion in trying to understand your mother, I hope she can do the same for you. But...you are underage. It won't be long before that term doesn't apply to you anymore so for now just try to be patient. You cannot IMAGINE the awesome nights and days that lay out on the path before you....there will be time for all of this.

When I was 17, I lied to my parents about going to a weekend long rave campout. I lied because that was the only way I would be able to attend and at that time it really meant more than anything that I be there. It turned out to be one of the greatest weekends of my life and later they found out I was there anyway (thanks a lot, Rolling Stone magazine). You could have taken that route but it's probably a better reflection on you that you didn't.

All that being said, I think any mom would feel the way she does...SCARED. I'm not sure the prospect of bringing her is realistic because i sure as hell wouldn't bring my parents (although my dad jokes about coming with me, he wouldn't actually do it). Furthermore, when you finally find yourself in the woods, it's going to be BIG...it is magic in actual motion. Things happen there that wouldn't happen in other places...this is something you might want to experience on your own (without parents, I mean...with friends, whatever) so you can truly immerse yourself.

Sometimes when you bring sombody that doesn't actually feel like they belong in that scene, you might end up sharing energy with that person in a way that might not be conducive to the experience you were hoping for. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I had that happen a couple times because I dragged sombody with me who dragged home along with them. I did it for the same reason you want to, because nobody else wanted to join me and I didn't feel comfortable camping alone.

Also, no matter who I've brought, I've lost them and they've lost me and there are days of confusion or at nationals there is so many people and so much land that I've lost my camp the first couple of days when I'm still feeling my way around. This year I brought my little brother, the only blood family I ever brought, and I was nervous whenever I was apart from him because I wanted him to be safe and have a wonderful time and grow.

Rainbow gathering can be safer than the city. But the gathering can also be chaotic, confusing, overwhelming, and you can see how kind everyone seems and become more vulnerable/trusting and these are the things your mom is probably worried about...a real lack of control, no hardcore structure.

July is a loooong way off. You've got lots of time to communicate, reserach, seek possible travel partners, and don't forget all the camping equipment you'll need to acquire if you haven't already. If you end up not going this summer there's always next year, right? I think you'll be surprised how your relationship with your mom may change as you grow older and are no longer in her care.

 

I think it would be great if your mom would go with you. I've been going to gatherings for about seven years. I invite my mom to go with me everytime I go. She was real nervious the first time I went. And I was in the wrong. I took off when I was about 17 (so I totally understand), hitching across country to a gathering. I must have gave my guarding angels heartattacks. I had a real weird guy pick me and my friend up. We got out and we caught a ride with a really nice trucker all the way there. This was the PA gathering in 99.
Anyway some really kind brothers and sisters caught up with me and offered me a ride home. They took me all the way back to KY. My mom freaked when she saw a tye-dyed bus full of hippys pull up. But she was so happy to see me that she started cooking, and you know how rainbows are when someones cooking. She soon had about 10 people in the kitchen with her helping her. My mom loved it. She loved everyone and cried when they left. Some of them still call and check on mom. After that mom realized how kind our family really is.

After that mom has never attended a gathering, but she knows that I am safe. Now I'm a mom, I've got 2 kids. They have been raised in the family. They love going to gatherings. Ashton, my boy, is begging to go on the road. I feel safe taking them to a gathering. I feel safer taking them there than anywhere else. I know that they are loved there, and they know it too. Its like they have 50 moms instead of one.

I wish you luck sister. I'm sending lots of good energy your way. Just know that everything will be Ok.

I love ya little sister,
Sweet Pea

 

I must be getting tired, cause I find this story touching.

 

LEOs and some scared parents came looking for a 17 year old girl, who wasn't supposed to be there Ocala 05. Luckily, we found her fast cuz they were really upset. Talk to Mom, if she doesn't give in.... wait. Otherwise, u will be worried the whole time and so will she. Where

 

Hey
i understand. when i was 17 my mom wouldn't let me go to the gathering and it was just an hour from my house.

Maybe you could show her some of the stuff online about the rainbow gathering..maybe even this site so she can see that the point of the gathering is to love and take care each other and that people (in my opinion) really do live up to the philosophy behind it.

show her of the websites..maybe welcomehome.org ( i think that's it)

=) peace

 

That would be so great to let your mom know right off the bat you are planning to go rainbow on her. If you like the gathering at your magical age, you'll be hooked. I was 17 when I first went to a regional and I told my parents I was going camping with friends. Not technically a lie maybe, but once they found out the next summer where I was going, they knew where I had probably gone before. But watch yourself carefully, sister, and get a support circle before you go, on the way and when you get there. I don't regret anything that happened my first gathering, but free love is not all it's cracked up to be

 

THe idea of taking your mom is so beautiful. My mother wouldn't have been open to that sort of thing, and had alot of fears and misconceptions that could have been changed if she had only experienced the gathering herself.

A few years ago my daughter and I were at a womyn's gathering and there was a woman there with her mom and I remember saying "I wish I could do things like this with my mom" and my daughter (she was 9 or 10 then) said "I'm glad I can!" and gave me a hug. It was really special to me.
I hope your mom will go. She will find under the strange outsides people full of love and kindness.