My first time: a total and sad failure.

Last night I had the chance to have my first sexual experience with my GF. She has some sexual experience and I have none. We've been together for 1 month and we both already love each other. I have 21 and she has 20.

After some 15 min of foreplay, like kissing and me giving her oral, I grabbed a condom and went for it. Surprise: I lasted only 30 seconds.

I said there was something wrong with the benzocaine condom I was using and would get a normal one, but then, another surprise: NO ERECTION.

She was very understanding and said me to relax, gave me some oral and masturbation but I still wasnt able to get another erection. I tried to breath, calm down but I though I was calm... After like 20 min of she trying to "turn me on" and me giving her kisses, breast stimulation and oral, I could get another bonner and tried it again, that time from behind. Surprise: I couldn't last 1 min.

I didnt tell her I had two orgasms, very mild ones. I just said I had lost my erection. Again, she was very understanding and we stayed in bed talking and stimulating each other for long time. Im so glad we love each other so much. She has been an angel. After a long time on this "afterplay" (even if that was no play), I got a 80% erection and we tried a 69, when I just noticed that I could ejaculate again very soon...

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1) The thing is that I had never had any erection problems. I do have a kind of serious premature ejaculation condition, but usually, after I have ejaculated one time, I can last for some minutes (when masturbating), what didnt happen this time... :/

2) Later that night, when I got home, I still wasnt able to get an erection and I noticed pain in my balls. The next day I noticed that my testicle sack has been uncharacteristically very loose and still hurting.

WHATS WRONG WITH ME?
WHAT CAN I DO?

That was very frustating. My gf said I sould be prepared for doing sex again anytime, anywhere we are, in order to get me turned on (like the stairs of her apartment, because we usually have serious make outs before I enter the elevator to go home). So, I can not just go for another total failure. I feel so bad...

Thanks guys.

 

sounds like you just had sex for the first time. of course you're going to cum quickly, and of course after you cum you need some recovery time before you get another boner.

 

You mean 30 seconds is normal, dude? When I masturbate I am usually able to recover my erection easily... that time I couldnt.

What about my next time? I dont know what to expect...

 

Don't expect anything other than it will feel good. I would say that what you experienced is normal for a first time. Practice (fuck your GF) every chance you get. You will learn how to control yourself. Goodluck.

 

or you can work one off so that you cum less soon

 

Nothing is normal for the first time

 

things should get better...maybe not with this girl but possibly the next one....i gotta say...stop examining your ''testacle sack''....sometimes they hang lo and sometimes they are drawn up tight...it is temperature thing and not a sex thing....

i only lasted seconds my first time...and many times after that...no big deal...i was so goddamned happy that i was able to bang a girl that i didnt give a shit my nutsac or my blueballs.....dont use the benzocaine condoms next time...they likely dulled your nerves alot more than they should have...its like the dentist...you cant just go eat right after freezing with benzocaine...same with your dink

 

if things go in the crapper and she tells everyone about your miserable performance just play the ''vaginosis card''

 

I have tons of experience and there is no normal in sex. It's unpredictable, usually fun, really good sometimes, and often just IS. Don't draw any conclusions and keep trying.

 

ROLLINGALONG, I was not happy for banging a girl for so short... It wasnt a pleasurable experience... but one thing it made me realize: she really loves me.

Any tips for the next time?

 

It's been said but I'll put it another way... don't worry so much. being the first time (sometimes even the first time with someone new) can make things happen quickly. Just relax and breath and let things happen, and as long as she is cool with it, you have no worries, it'll get better.

Honestly the more I think the quicker I go, and the longer I take to recover. Best advice: relax, relax, relax

 

Two tips...
First: stop watching porn. If you're 21 and this is your first time, I'm sure you've been watching an ample amount of porn for years and that will affect your ability to get erections. Once you stop watching porn, your brain will begin adjusting to the different mental stimulation sex with a real person gives and your erections and overall performance will improve.

Second: masturbate with a condom on. Even very sexually experienced guys often have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection with a condom if they aren't use to the dull feel; it's very common for guys getting out of LTRs where condoms were not used to have erection issues once they get back into casual dating and condoms are used.

Don't sweat the first time, penetration is a big part of sex, but it's definitely not all there is to it. Oral, manual stimulation, mental aspects, are all very important to having great sex... you'll do nothing but improve from here...

 

Masturbate twice before the next time you plan on doing it.
i domt know if its a blessing or curse for me having a relatively low sex drive.

 

Thanks for your help, guys.

I am also researching about PC muscle exercises. Do anyone know if it will actually improve my erections and help me hold the ejaculation?

 

you mean like conditioning to not call them pythons or washboards?

 

big part of the ''game'' is to be such an awesome cool dude out of the sack...treating her like a queen....being ''there'' that she should consider herself lucky that YOU chose her for those 10 seconds...she should leave feeling grateful that it wasnt 5 seconds.....


it is difficult but possible to achieve such awesomeness

 

I think your starting to over think things, I've been with a good number of girls and been given excellent reviews on my performance, but I have no clue what PC muscle exercise is... focus on the basics. If anything look up a few tips on giving oral, manual stimulation. Although, asking her what she likes will teach you more than that will.

 

I mean just making the male kegel exercises in order to make my erections harder and being able to hold when feeling the orgasm coming...

People say it does help. I even saw a quite reliable magazine saying there's one of their editors who usually dare women to make him cum!

I mean... PC muscle exercises is a very very good option, isn't it?

 

They may help, I have no idea.... but they won't help if your mind isn't in the right place and all your doing is worrying.

 

That control will come pretty naturally with time and experience, because you won't be as excited or nervous. There's a lot of really simple basic things you can do to control how fast you cum that you'll learn; how deep you go on the stroke, the rhythm, the position and so on...