My Concept Of Cheating.....

I talked about cheating with my fiance recently, it was a fun topic, and we were bored.

So anyway I said that I don't consider some acts as cheating when she does.

For instance:

If a guy was to go down on my fiance, or wife, when she becomes so, I wouldn't have much problem with it.

This is all considering STDs, if STDs are involved it's a whole other ballgame, but unless it's oral herpes it would be hard for a guy to transmit to a woman through oral.

Moving on, if my fiance made out with a guy, while drunk, I would not care.

If she had some friend on the net who lived more than 500km away that she talked to sexually, I would not care.

Now of course, as smart as she is, she confronted me on the opposite side, lol.

If a girl gave me oral? Or I made out with a girl drunk or had a sexy chat online friend, since I don't consider it cheating for her would I have no problem doing it?

I gave her one of my bs speeches, this one about how women are obviously bigger targets so there's a much higher chance a guy will take advantage.

Now of course, she would never do that, again I don't really care if she did, but she isn't that type and I only said my part so she wouldn't get upset.

But in all honesty, I would not consider it cheating, what I have mentioned above, because let's face it, kissing is extremely basic, if a guy is dating a stage actress who has to make out with an actor every performance, is that cheating? Course not. If some guy decided to get my girl off and she let him, good for her....seriously how does this affect me?

And the online chat thing? How the hell is that cheating? And hey, if it turns her on, I'll get the benefit since I am physically THERE!




I'd like some opinions, thank you.

 

I would consider all those things cheating.

 

Ditto...

 

No offense but I think people in relationships who find internet friends as " cheating " are horribly insecure and untrustworthy of their partner.

Drunk make outs are meaningless, just like drunk sex with strangers, although I'd consider THAT cheating, but kissing is basic and when done drunk has no merit.

If she was completely sober, then I'd consider it cheating.

 

yeah man but not everyone wants to have an open relationship like you do. I mean you didnt mention fucking or anything but still that is somewhat open.

 

How is what I mention an Open Relationship?

Receiving Oral as ok is now considered an Open Relationship???

So, basically, me saying I'm ok with my girlfriend getting oral makes our relationship Open?

Some news for ya, not many guys are content with just giving a girl oral.

So my girl getting oral from a guy and giving him nothing in return would make me laugh, hard.

 

^^ Yeah, @ Atla

 

Ok, let me give you some acts I WOULD consider cheating, and therefore a no, no:

My girl giving head to another guy
My girl taking a dick up the ass
My girl taking a dick in her vagina
My girl making out with a guy completely sober
My girl letting a guy feel her up, completely sober

That's 5......pretty big ones.

And I'm in an Open Relationship?

For the record, if a hottie wants to suck my dick, I say it's charity and give it to her.

What forum is this???

 

Ok, what's cheating for you?

 

oh maximus how reminiscent of some of your other posts. what you dont understand and what im trying to say is that is how YOU feel about this. what im trying to say is how many other people believe this, how many people would be like oh well some dude ate my girl out, she enjoyed it whats up. im just making a comparison

 

As in, what I could do that I would label myself as a cheater?

The same as my girl, if I gave oral to another girl I think that'd be cheating.

I don't consider oral sex as sex, I call it foreplay, so if a girl gave me head I don't consider that cheating because I didn't give anything to her, get it?

 

I haven't posted here in a while lol.

I get what you're saying but I want some detail, and not just " Yes that's cheating ".

So can you help me out?

If a guy eats a girl out, he's not getting anything out of it, that's the way I look at it.

I mean, I get no physical pleasure from giving my girl oral, I like how it gets her started, but the act itself isn't pleasurable for me.

 

Lol.

 

well you might not be getting anything from it but speaking for myself i would say i do kinda get something out of it because i know im making her happy and that is something in and of itself. also by doing something like that there is a very good chance that the girl would want to give back. At any rate im not trying to start a fight like i said i was just making a comparison. I think if you and your girl agree on that then thats not cheating. Ill stick to what i said in another conversation we had, you have to both talk about it, your justification alone, however sound it may seem will not cut it.

 

Fine, I'll put receiving oral in the cheating column.

But internet sex chat is not cheating, nor is drunken make outs.

 

Interesting thread

I'd think of anything drunken as cheating. You don't forget about your partner when your drunk it's just a excuse.

 

i think sex, flirting and oral naughtyness while sober or drunk is cheating... i agree your forgetting your partner while doing it and shows they mean nothing to you!

may i ask though? texting a "friend" that you used to like fancy but its just friendly texts classed as cheating? BUT if the male texting the female doesnt know he has a gf is that cheating?

talking to a male or to a female in general is nothing!....

 

Oral, to me, is cheating. Drunk make-out sessions are also up there as a no-no.

As for internet chatting, it depends. If it is with someone that knows "hey this is just for fun" it is a far cry from chatting up some cutie and hinting at more of a relationship. The problem is the vague line that distinguishes the two, basically if it is used as chat porn and not to fulfill an emotional need.

I am not insecure in my relationship, nor is my husband, and we both agree that monogamy, on all levels, suits our present wants and needs. We have both been with other people (married, open relationships and what not), and realize that we get the most physical and emotional enjoyment out of each other, so for us monogamy works. He has his porn, and I have my batteries, it works out great.

I can see how it was assumed the OP had an open relationship, though not in the traditional sense. If a person does not mind sexual gratification being found outside of their relationship, then it is an open relationship. The only difference is the parameters in which the pleasure can be obtained (ie: receiving oral but not giving etc).

Oh, and I have yet to meet a man that gets nothing out of oral sex. I am betting that a man who knew he could not receive favors from a woman would be jerking off while performing oral on her. Being a chick I cannot swear to it, but I don't see myself sucking a man's dick without making sure I feel pleasure, if sucking his dick is all I am allowed to do.

 

^ You have a point.

But when using oral as foreplay it doesn't give me any pleasure, I use it as a way of getting my girl in the mood so to speak, although I do that with music and sensual kissing as well, but you get my point.

I don't like 69 position, and I like to trade around so sometimes I give her oral and others she gives me oral, and we both use it as foreplay.

That's me though.

And as long as it doesn't go beyond kissing I think when you're really drunk it shouldn't be taken seriously, what if I were really drunk and thought a girl looked like my girl and started making out with her? Then I still think about her but I'm just so wasted I don't realize it's not her.

That's an example.

Again, the boundaries are there, it's not like I'd expect myself to have drunken makeouts with many women, or expect that from my girl, but I just draw the line at that.

Plus we've been together for a long time, and unlike some people, I do not treat a 2 months relationship with the same merit as I do a relationship that's last for couple years.

See the difference there?

Thanks for the feedback everyone.

 

You'd have to be really really drunk to mistake someone for a person you've known a long time. If that level of intoxication causes you to lose that much of your sense, should you even be drinking that much, for your own sake? That's just irresponsible, but really I'm not surprised given your age.