Those who are meant to be in your life, will be. I just saw a video where someone said that and then said, "If they are meant to be there, nothing you could do would ever scare them away." I know it's true but sometimes it is still difficult to believe.
When my wife passed away. I was in a new state, in a rural area. I really didn't know anyone. Just my neighbors down the road. I was in total isolation. I posted a ad for a friend . Someone that knows the area. Someone that I c I uld hang out with I occasionally. Not a girlfriend or FWB. I differently was not ready for that connection yet. A local woman responded. And we met. Became friends. But she was looking for more then I could provide at the time. We eventually faded away . We are still friends . But not close persay. Months later I met another woman. And I felt a immediate connection. Because she LOOKED just like a person that my wife used to know before we made our big relocation move. But over months of dating and being together . She felt that she didn't need her medications anymore and stopped cold turkey. To say that she went a little crazy would be a understatement. It hit me hard. Very hard. I swore that this was a sign that I should not be dating or seeing another person. I could not take another nightmare lost. And then a woman contacted me from my first online post . I went slow. I had no hopeful expectations. I was even debating with myself about it. After a bunch of texts and emails we agreed to meet. In a park. In front of a State Police barracks. On a highly visible walking path. With other walkers. We met, we walked, we talked, we agreed to see each other again. Our history was compatible. Our experiences were very close to being the same. And well, that saying holds true for us.. If it's meant to be , it will be.
In Gaelic, there is a way of speaking that I find particularly beautiful and rather liberating. I don't remember how to say it in Gaelic and I would probably butcher the spelling even if I did but it goes something like this... When speaking of feelings and emotions, they don't say things like, "I'm angry" or "I'm sad", they say, "The anger is upon me" or "The sadness is upon me". The difference being that when you say, "I'm (name the emotion)" it's like saying you are becoming that thing, that it is a part of you. It becomes enmeshed with your identity. But saying, "The (name the emotion) is upon me" means that it is easily removed as if it is just something you wear for a time and can remove whenever you want. You are not your feelings, the choice is yours what you wear and what you remove.
