Me -vs- The Drugs

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He already has gone overboard. Give him an ultimatum. If you are more important than the drugs, he will choose you. When people say that they can stop anytime they want to... that means that they are already 'addicted'. Maybe not biologically addicted, but some people can fall in love with the idea of doing drugs.This would be the only way that I could think to solve the problem if it were me. Of course, there's no way I would tolerate my partner doing heroine, cocaine, LSD, and DMT either.

If he loves you back, he will realize what his drug use is doing to you. Choosing drugs over a relationship is a very stupid choice...but it will tell you where his priorities lie. If he refuses to get off the drugs, be strong and just boot his ass.

That's my advice.

 

Your advice is very helpful, thank you much.
I do believe you are right about the fact that he has already gone overboard with the drugs, and that is what really scares me. I truely hope he would choose me over the drugs, because we have such a strong relationship.
But for some reason, I think he would say he would "stop" doing them for me but then I feel that he may do them anyway, which would be a HUGE problem!

 

well, with my last relationship my girlfriend was ok with me smoking, but not with anybody else. And that's only because I live 20 miles from anybody and I'd have to drive home or whatever...safety reasons more or less... among a few other things. I even agreed to this because I felt the same way. I'm very very safe. I told her I wouldn't do it but I did. Not because I couldn't control myself or because I wanted to be sneaky, but because I thought that I knew what was best for myself. I didn't think about the relationship.

The issue isn't as important as the principle of it. I said I wouldn't do it but I did it anyways.

BUT what you said at the end was interesting. Why would you want to be with somebody that is capable of lying to you and going behind your back and doing something he told you he wouldn't do? Trust is important in a relationship and if you can't trust him not to do hard drugs, what else can you not trust him with?

Don't be scared about whether or not he will choose you or the drugs. If he chooses the drugs, then you will know his priorities. Why be in love with somebody that doesn't feel the same way about you?

 

Was he doing this when you two started dating? If so, you kind of knew it was there. If not...

Ultimatum time. I wouldn't put up with that shit. Hell, I'm barely ok with pot, I would have no patience for someone doing harder crap than that.

You or the drugs. If he chooses the drugs, then he's obviously not worth your time anyways.

 

hmmm.
LSD to me is strange. i've tried it once, & i would probably try it once more. but thats it. i smoke the ganja too, but only occaisonly. anything harder than weed, it's bad baaad shit. cocaine ruins people, their lives, their personality, their self-esteem...and herion. seriously, if you care about this guy that much, help him. if he has you, then why does he need these such man-made, hardcore drugs to escape reality.

it isnt good from what ive just heard though. but i look at all these people, and just wonder "why?"....get him to rehab before its too late.

 

hmmm.
LSD to me is strange. i've tried it once, & i would probably try it once more. but thats it. i smoke the ganja too, but only occaisonly. i aint done anything else, and never will...but to me, anything harder than weed, it's bad baaad shit. cocaine ruins people, their lives, their personality, their self-esteem etc...and as for herion?...well, i aint gonna' give you the "dont do drugs, mmmkay?" babble. seriously though, if you care about this guy that much, help him. if he has you, then why does he need these such man-made, hardcore drugs to escape reality??

it isnt good from what ive just heard though. but i look at all these people, and just wonder "why?"....get him to rehab before its too late.

 

Just walk away. If you give him an ultimatum to choose you or the drugs you will be opening yourself up to alot of rejection, because he WILL choose the drugs. You need to issue the ultimatum to yourself : a drugged out guy or you? Choose you, sister, choose you.

 

coke... i thought coke wasn't so hard besides the effects on the body, then one day I saw this dude do coke. It totally turned him into a different person, for the worse. It's some fucked up shit. Heroine especially. It's easy to get into that hard... and it's just as easy to use somebody else's needle when you can't find one of your own. If he was shooting heroine, i would also suggest that he get tested before continuing. That's my take on it though. I just wouldn't trust a needle-user.

 

If he's your best friend as well as your boyfriend, act like it! If my best friend were getting into hard shit, I would yank them by the collar and tell them straight up that I'm not going to stand by and enable their addiction to eat them alive. If you need to, gather up family and other concerned friends, and even a counselor, and have a bloody intervention! Help this guy, he needs support! Do tell him, though, that a relationship can't work out if he continues down this path, but also be available for help and support should he need it. Be his friend. This guy needs all the hard drug-free friends he can get!

 

I would give him the ultimatum and if he doesn't choose you leave asap.

 

I have almost the exact same problem. Me and my boyfriend have also been together for six months. When we got together I already knew about most of what he was doing like smoking, white, shrooms, ice, pain killers, and x. I really didn't have that much of a problem with it because I've done all of it and still do most of it except white. But when he does a chemical drug he says he likes to go on binges with it, but to me thats worse than doing just one thing a lot. At first I noticed he was doing white a lot. He would get really strung out and was always tired. After that was over he switched to pills, oxycodone, then he told me he tried brown! At that point I said something. I kind of got mad at him and talked shit to him which was really not the way to go. But when I calmed down I let him know that I didn't want him doing things like that because i care about him and don't want anything to happen to him. Since then he says he hasn't done it but I have suspected him of doing it. But when I asked him about it he said everytime he did it he told me and he wasn't going to do it anymore because he knew that it worried me. So my advice to you is explain to him how much you care about him and that you worry about his well being when he does things like that. If he really cares about you and how you feel he can stop or slow down for you. But if you can't be with someone into things like that he might not be for you because most likely he won't be able to drop everything completely.

 

Plenty of people can experiment with blow without it being a big deal.

Some can't.

 

you have to confront him about his. Heroin is no joke. Cocaine is less of a deal, but still big enough of a deal that you need to confront him about this. Make sure he knows that just because some drugs aren't bad, it doesn't mean that all drugs aren't bad. You should be nice about his LSD use though. There is research that shows that LSD can be good for helping people quit the harder drugs

 

Yep definitely talk to him about it, but if you suspect he'll do it behind your back, why stick around in a relationship with no or little trust? If he's that addicted and it sounds like he is, I'd move on. You'll only set yourself for heart ache. Suggest rehab and outline the reasons as to why you think he should go, but if he doesn't agrees, travel.

 

why would either of you put up with being in a relationship with addicts? I'm not trying to attack I am just curious as to why women put up with things. I know I put up with things in the past trying to change people. Comprehending that people don't change has made life much easier.

 

My first thought is to say that you are waaaaay too hot to have to put up w/ this sht. Of course that's a little shallow, so:

If he's doing heroin there is a VERY good chance that he will soon be hooked. Kinda sounds like he might be already to be honest. This NEVER turns out well trust me. Ask him if he has shot the heroin before. If so....RUN!

You've only been together for 6 months. Don't have this same conversation about the same guy in 6 years ok?

 

yes, you need to get him to make a choice, you or the drugs!
any one that says they are in control when they usin heroin/coke regularly are fuckin idiotes
fuckin sort him out girl!
ganja is fine but heroin/coke? no way!

 

If you don't allow yourself to view cannabis as a drug, you won't do anything else... it works for me.

 

good point, cannibas isn't really a drug. Even though cocaine and herion are plant based they are processed and altered into drugs. a dried plant is not a drug, it's a natural thing. Alchohol is a drug.