Married people! Do you get discriminated against?

I'm wondering, I know there are a few married peeps on here and I want to know your thoughts on marriage [especially those that are in their twenties].

I got married at 21. I get older people believing that now I have a ring on my finger I should "grow up" and act like a wife and have children. Equally I get a lot of pity from my peers. They feel that I should be sleeping around and enjoying myself.

A while ago, I joined one of those married groups on facebook and I said that I don't feel mature enough for children. And everyone there said that if I wasn't mature enough for children then I am not mature enough for marriage. Balls. It doesn't get to me though, why should it? I love being married.

Do you get people prying into your life? Do you get constant pressure from family to cut the dreads and be a "proper" husband/wife? Do your peers pity you? Do you think there's a right age to get married?

I want to know your thoughts and experiences!!! Unmarrieds can give their opinions too!

 

I am somewhat of a misogamist myself.

It hurt my ma's feelings when I told her I will never marry-
she is all like 'But marriage is a promise to be together forrreeeevvvverrrr!!!!!!!!'
Which I find ironic because she gets divorced an average of every five years.

Oh well. I've got time to think about it.
I've got time before I have the time where I need to have the time to think about it.



..... It made sense in my head.

 

LOL Sarah, that's okay though, don't do anything just to please others. I agree with your mum though, marriage is a promise, just a bit odd that she should say that after all those marriages. I think people see marriage as "forever until you have problems". If my marriage failed, I would never marry again.

 

I'm just a bit bitter when it comes down to it

My family history on my Pop's side is country folk,
-you get married to have babies on your farm.
And stay married forever. But I feel that people nowadays have much more room to go their own way, you know? The traditions are being broken, and with that people marry on a whim and divorce just as easily.



But I know when I am older and settle with a nice guy, people all around me will be all
"When are you guys getting married???"
And I wouldn't awkwardly want to describe to them that we aren't, and people still frown on unwed mothers,...

but that can't be helped


I am rambling a bit.

 

fuck my huge post just got deleted as i was typing! bah!

 

shinanigans.

 

I hate when that happens it gets deleted. It's interesting that single people get nosy bastards prying into their lives too. Seems like if you're married young there's something wrong and if you're not married by, let's say mid thirties theres also something wrong

 

Lawls sarah xD you have lots of tiiiiime Because you are teh FAHZER of time!!

I can't decide if I want to get married. The bf and I are, like, proper. Proper *life* ness I feel so lucky to have someone at this age, that I know I want to be with forever. All of my friends are "dating"... I never understood that. I never really *did* it either... But meh I've known this dude for 6/7 years, been together for almost a year, and all those years before, wasted with *cough* others.. I wish I was with him... AnywaY!! Enough of my infatuation speak xD

Marriage is too.. constricting? Lots of shit with finances and stuff.. And it has been "the norm" To get married for the last..ever. I dunno.. I can make a promise to be 'forever' in my own way, no piece of paper from the government can replace that.. If you see what I mean? I make no sense with these things xD Erm.. Marrige is like lawfully binding, and I don't like law.. I don't want to be contricted by pieces of paper and rings and shit. I know it may not.. be.. constricting, but in my head I see it that way- please someone tell me otherwise so I have another side to it xD

A civil partnership could be more suiting, I dunno though. I don't want to be calling *him* my boyfriend the rest of my life.. I want to call him my partner, like, now! But it sounds too mature for me xD I'm 19 and I have got my life partner.. That sounds too mature and boyfriend sounds too immature xD

I see marriage as a legally binding thing, and less of a love thing. I guess that might be cus my parents separated when I was 13, so I haven't ever seen a married couple up close.. If you get me? My bf's parents are married, and its so cool to see his dad call aiden's(bf) mum gorgeous, and stuff, I never had that at my house xD Its cool, aiden's mum calls his dad hairy, and I and his dad call aiden fluffy And if we ever have kids, it would be a stable thing for them.. Muh xD

Does anyone know what I mean?

 

What does a hairstyle have to do with marriage, or maturity, for that matter?

 

You'd be suprised dlftw ^^

 

I do. My parents never showed any love towards each other.

I met my husband at 19. I don't see it as a piece of paper or constricted by the gov. I see it as becoming a family. Since we got married we have become even closer. We are a team [pictures team rocket] and honestly marriage has made me a better person. It sounds weird but I can't really elaborate

 

Because a lot of people see dreads as a "youth" thing and that youthful things have no place in a "real marriage".

 

Thats really cool hdh Now I'm thinking like it like this- Non marriage, feel freer, but yet you wanna do that something to make it an official forever... Marriage, instead of feeling contricted I can just imagine marriage/me+man on a beach with a sunset and a breeze... doing the titanic thing on a rock... *frees mind* allalalaa

If you need me I'll be at that beach ^^

I don't think I'll wear a ring.. cus that is like, literal constriction xD But then again maybe I will.. xD Not gold though.. Sillvvahh pretty

 

Dlftw- Amanda is allowed to be as irrelevant as she pleases.



Plus, she would make the coolest Team Rocket ever.
HDH- I demand you and the hubs pose and snap a photo as Team Rocket.
Pronto.



I see both sides of it,
DV and Hdh, and they both make a lot of sense.
I does seem a bit pointless and restricting to me, and I think you don't really need a paper and a ring to signify what you could already feel,
but I'm also sure nothing compares to really feeling like you are that close to someone, and be able to show it in such a grand way. You dig?




But what do I know?!

 

I hope Mandy gives her thoughts, I'm sure she's getting married but not officially. She'd be able to give great insight I reckon.

I don't think I was being irrelevent. I get a lot of shiz for being a married dreaded person. People expect us to be divorced as with a lot of young married couples. Fuck um I say. The way I style my hair is no testament to how I value my own marriage.

 

Lawls amanda xD <3 and yis. amanda should sO do that. NAO!

And sarah, you just explained my point in like.. two sentances xD I have no way with words xD

 

:cheers2:

 

How do we pretend to be team rocket? Asks my husband.

 

I can't see myself getting married this early in my life (21) but I think couples should have some sort of set trial period.. I dunno.. date for 3 years or so at least. Just so you don't consider a divorce when you encounter your first big fight with your new wifey that you've only known for a year or so. Of course, it's not my place to tell another couple how long they should date before getting married, just sort of what makes most sense to me

My parents got married at 25, probably faced some flack for being an interracial couple, but they are doing great, and sure they made some sacrifices, but that's what it takes to be a successful team or couple I think. They are very different that most people their age especially in our area, and I don't feel like they have compromised their personalities to be like the norm.

>I get older people believing that now I have a ring on my finger I should "grow up" and act like a wife and have children.

Probably because that's what they were told to do when they first got married, and what their parents before them were told to do. This is sad because once you "grow up" its pretty hard to feel young again, and oftentimes people attempt to do it by living out their wishes to feel young again through their kids.. putting them in sports they hate but the parents love, or beauty pageants, etc. I think that was their decision to "grow up" and cut their dreads and stop listening to metal because it's what was expected and maybe safe.

I do think though, there is a baseline responsibility shift once you do get married or have kids, which should be a no brainer.. kick your drug habit if you plan on raising a kid so you're not a damn hypocrite when you tell your kids one day to not do it, and also, more importantly for the safety of the little bugger. Or maybe so you can, as a couple, be more responsible for your money and use it for more productive things. but that opinion comes from a mostly anti-drug guy

I'm just saying that you shouldn't have to change your personality or aspirations when you get married or have a kid. I guess it all lays on how much stock you put into other's perceptions of you. In my opinion, you shouldn't compromise your own core values to "fit in" unless it is a serious risk to your marriage or safety of your family (ex. drug abuse or alcoholism).

>They feel that I should be sleeping around and enjoying myself.

I think that if you made the choice to get married, then obviously the option to sleep around is not relevant to you, or else you wouldn't have been married in the first place. To me, this seems like a shitty option anyways, but i'm not into one night stands and mostly meaningless sex centered relationships, or STDs for that matter Though I'm not most people, and I can't speak for a lot of people. I think it is a natural thing that you probably don't have a choice in anyways, either you are into sleeping around, or you aren't.

>And everyone there said that if I wasn't mature enough for children then I am not mature enough for marriage.

What about 15 year olds that get pregnant, are they mature enough for marriage? Does that automatically make them more qualified than a 25 year old couple that don't think they are wanting a baby for 2 more years but want to get married now? What a dumb argument You should ask your facebook group that question.

 

This is how