Making sure it's safe.

My husband and I have decided to open our marriage to others, that is we have agreed that I should find a lover. My question really is: Before having unprotected sex for the first time with another, are there any tests that we can both have done to make sure it is safe?

Of course we would continue to practice safe sex until such a time when we know that both of us are ok.

I feel really embarrassed when I think about asking my GP about this so I am hoping someone can help.

Thanks and have a great day/evening.

Thank you for your replies so far. I think going to another GP is the best thing to do, even though it's still embarrassing. I was just wondering if anyone has gone through a similar dilema and what their experience with these test was like. was it just one test, or multiple tests at different times.

Thanks again for taking the time to post for me.

Christine.

 

Well they have tests for just about all STD's. Just ask them to go get tested. HIV would be the big one obviously.

 

Yeah, but sometimes can't someone be positive for an STD and yet not have it show up in those tests? Nothing is fool-proof. Keep it as safe as you can, I guess.

 

Don't feel embarassed! Please. Talk to another doctor in a neighbouring clinic, or ask to see another medical professional if you feel you can't speak to your family doctor. I too am a little queasy seeing the family doctor who has known me since I was 10 and asking about STDs, knowing that he also knows/treats my parents and aunts and cousins. Whatever it is, or wherever you are, DO speak to a medical professional who you think is reliable - whether to just consult or get tests done.

Keep in mind that although nothing is 110% foolproof including tests where there is some chance of human error involved, nothing is perfect. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't get tested or insist that the people you are having sex or engaging in any sexual act (ie. oral sex etc) shouldn't get tested. It is your RIGHT to obtain those tests, and even second or third tests to make sure if you ever come back with something testing for positive. In the same way, you have every right to demand that all sexual partners get tested before any hanky panky goes on.

Let's face it - not everyone can be bothered. You're in the mood, it's getting hot and the last thing on your mind is whether or not you even want to use a condom let alone ask if the guy/girl is clean or has been tested. Yeah, it breaks the mood, but if you're concerned about your health (as I believe everyone should be), then give yourself more credit and DON'T sell yourself short.

I am personally dealing with STIs at the moment - not in myself, but in the man I'm seeing. It's painful and it's tough and I seriously think that people should give this more thought. I created my own thread in the Love forum here (http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=218435).

Sincerely, all the best.