(little background first i am in a relationship with a man but not a happy one, I have been sexual with women before but not in a relationship with one) There is a woman that I meet through another family member (not introduced but because I go to appointments with this family member) I think she may be gay but not completely sure. But everytime I go I can't stop staring at her I get butterflies so bad I feel like I'm in school again and having that first crush. I so want to just kiss her ,hold her , everything with her. This has been going on for a few months now but getting increasingly harder to stop thinking about her . I wake up thinking about her and go to bed thinking of her, fantisizing about her , you name it I have probably thought it. If i wasn't in a relationship I would make a move on her but I don't think its fair to her or my SO to do so right now . Guess thats why I am on here so I can tell someone. I do plan on getting out of this relationship the time is just not right at the present . I have had 3somes in past relationships and a couple of short term sexual encounters with just another woman. But this time I could totally see her being my girlfriend . Kind of confusing i guess cause I've only had boyfriends in my life. Its also hard because I have children toddler up to adult and I don't know how they would react to me having a woman lover. Why does everything have to be so hard? I just got off the phone with her and I could just talk to her for hours. I love listening to her voice and look forward to when she calls me or I call her again or when i get to see her again. oh I am so confused I just don't know what to do with myself, my feelings , my life....
I so wish I knew how to help you. Other than being in a relationship, I am right there with you. I am attracted to a girl I met through a mutual friend and the want I feel for her is more than I can stand, yet I don't know how to tell her. If only this kind of stuff was easy.
the thing is, do you even know this person that well??! sounds like you don't and this is just you cultivating a divine image of them. Unfortunately as we find out in life, fantasies fade quickly when reality bites! It sounds like your relationship with SO is in trouble, with children it's more complicated also. Your SO may actually like you having sex with her, but i doubt he'd like you leaving him for a relationship with her. I dunno, maybe he wants out as well!?! I also doubt your children would be impressed, but they would accept it eventually. If I was you, I'd make up some excuse to find out if she is actually bi or lesbian, then if not, at least that's out of the way, cos the "perfect person" you've created in your mind, wouldn't be in the slightest interested in you. I don't think you can have a valid perspective on your family life while in the mist of such a crush. But you have to change things if you're unhappy, make some enquiries and stay as level headed as possible, cos the crush will soon be over and you'll be living in the aftermath of the decisions you make! Good luck!
I just got out of the same kind of situation by telling a woman I was into her, only to be shot down because I'm not a full-on lesbian, or at least a single bisexual woman. The only way you can know how she feels is to ask. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best! And I think ToiletRolls is 100% correct about the "divine image" and staying level headed through all of it. Such an infatuation can consume all your brain power! Good luck
