Lost soul, Wandering.

I might ramble, if so, smoke em if you got em.

My name's Aubrey, I'm a 30 year old from the most closeminded conservative town I personally have ever seen in north texas (the shiny gaudy, oversized belt buckle of the bible belt).

Up until my 15th year, I saw the joy of this world, and for the last 15, I've seen pain, heartache, heartbreak and the futility of trying to oppress myself, constrict myself and subject myself to the slow death-of-soul that comes from the indoctrinated white-bread society around me...It took the one I loved as much as my own soul to walk away from me to truly open my eyes.

We may salvage things, we may not.

I know this is for introductions, so I introduce myself, lost, naked, alone, wondering when I forgot the truth about love and life, and got caught up in the insidious and inexorable grind of 'blending in'. I hung out, in my younger days, with the freaks, geeks, stoners and generally odd....the closest we had to a counter-culture here...The freaks have ditched the piercings, and hide their tats under makeup for their jobs, the geeks have moved into comfortable jobs in IT, and forgotten the joy they had from geeking out over their obsession of choice, the stoners have dropped the bong for a 3 piece suit and a 401k, and the generally odd...they've vanished through the cracks, into nonexistance.


I took my username becuase of what I feel...born a quarter century too late. I missed growing up with the beginnings, and feel like a latecomer to the party....You know..the guy that shows up halfway through the night, and there's that uncomfortable silence before people decide whether he just got hung up in things and has lousy time sense, is he being pretentiously 'fashionably late', does he just have bad timing, or is he trouble waiting to happen?

I am, for the moment, single. (I believe) I have a trio of cats that keep me company, and we hang about, but they're not much for conversation. I garden, I enjoy metalwork, ren faires. I'm half plugged in, as in you could feed a cable into me like an IV, and I'm half on the edge of packing a tent and retreating into the closest set of woods.

I want a farm, a place to live gently and quietly, out of the gangs, the chemical drugs (nothin against plants...the gods gave us wine and pot, and man created everclear and crack...hmmm.) the shootings, the intolerance...

I'm looking, at the moment, for work that doesn't drain my life, drain my soul, and doesn't force me into the slavery of 'living to work'. I've done that for too long, and every bit of me rebels at that now. Crisis of breath...drowning in the mainstream, roadkill on the information superhighway....whatever you want to call it.

I do my best to live as green as I can, given the situation, recycling, composting, making my own food, (almost a requirement, as I've got celiac, and finding gluten free anything is like finding a unicorn on the lawn...count yourself lucky.) I'm rediscovering my beliefs, my guiding principles....so I didn't list my religion...

I'm not typically so gloomy, but this is a spiritual and mental shakedown for me, so I hope I can be accepted, without faulting me for being human.

I don't have much in the way of secrets or things that embarass me, so if anyone has questions, ask away.

Much love, brothers and sisters, much peace, and best of blessings on you all.
Aubrey.

 

Hello Aubrey great intro love it. yea work to live . i hear ya .Welcome good to have you here .PEACE.

 

Thanks Jimmy, and nice sig poster...lol

 

I am very honered to meet you. There are some of us that (as far as geeks go) are stilling creating there own culture. Im proud to say that I have created a large group of us geeks in colorado. You seem like a good man, so welcome. I hope that you find your place here.

If I can ever do anything for you, even if you just need a conversation let me know.

 

Welcome, look forward to having you here!

peace
nick

 

thank you ,peace your way.

 

wow, talk about a warm welcome...that alone is awesome! Thank you all who've replied so far, and thanks in advance to those that haven't yet.