Ok, Here's my situation. I met a girl near to exactly 21 months ago online through a good friend. At first we just talked through various messengers, sent letters etc, then we started talking on the phone. (racked up a nice 1.5 grand in phone charges) Well, about a year ago I moved from Ohio to missouri to live with her and her parents after my mother, in her glorious insanity, tried to kill me. About 6 months ago we started playing an Online Video game called Ragnarok Online in which she would "pretend" to like guys, to get help in the game. Well, one guy we talked to was James, who became a pretty good friend to me, as well as my girlfriend Jamie. Recently I've been noticing she is kind of ignoring me, and spending pretty much all her time talking to him so i brought it up. This stirred a pretty heated, deep conversation which i was TOTALLY unprepared for O_O. She told me as of a few months ago she was becomming very unhappy with me. When our relationship started everything was new and exciting, but as of late it's kind of settled and become pretty dull. Seeming more like friends then a couple. She told me that she didnt feel as if she was IN love with me, more jsut cared deeply about me as a friend, and that she thinks so has very strong feelings for James. I don't have much of an education past high school because I can't be in crowds without having some sort of attack. And I havn't had a job recently so I understand she may feel like im pretty worthless. We talked over and over the past day or two, in which she ended up breaking up with me, and dating James ( who also lives in ohio) I love this woman more than anything I could describe, and I just want her happy. I told her 10 times if He will make you happy. by all means go with him BUT, I CANNOT stay here with you, and watch you give feelings I want so bad to be for me, to someone else. She's very torn... I'm trying to show her that, given a little time, things WILL pick up, and its hard for her to expect or even imagine a future with me when her head is clouded with James. I want her to be happy but this once I want what makes ME happy too ya know? What should I do. I'm going to ohio for a month to stay with my brother to give us a break apart because I know living together really dulls life out. And James will be on vacation in Florida for Spring Break... she says after that month when i return, she will tell me.. if she wants to continue what we had and worked so hard for, or if she wants to go with him. Guys and girls.. what do i do?! I've cried night after night, horribly hard over this woman. I can't lose her and I REFUSE to stop fighting for her but I'm at a lose of ideas... I've never cried in my life but over her. I'm afraid that if she chooses him, and I leave. a few months down the road shes going to realize "what have i done?!" but it would be too late by then... up to what I've said now what do you guys thinks? No flames or anything ok... i know now all criticism is positive but dont purposly try to make me feel WORSE than i already do. thanks.
Yea I know that first messege may be kind of hard to understand but my head is going 1,000,000 miles an hour right now >_> thanks
Well, thats not an enviable situation. I think maybe she likes the stimulation and excitement of meeting someone new on-line, not having met them and then the excitement and build up, all the feelings of a new relationship. I guess that is what she is missing in your relationship, the spark has died. The thing is I guess she will probably go through the same motions with this new guy James, no doubt in time it will go the same way as your relationship has gone. Now bare in mind I really don't know the situation that well and I am just going on my own instincts and some partial experience I've had in a vaguely similar relationship myself. I tend to feel that your best off moving on if at all possible in these situations, as the sooner you do the sooner you get over it. But I also know I would have to do everything in my power to be sure that it's the right course of action first... Maybe you should reflect upon her what I said above if you think I have a valid point? She could be getting herself into a circular motion for that initial thrill. You must know deep down if the the relationship is worth saving and is possible to save, look for that instinctive knowledge within yourself (the one you might be ignoring cos it's not what you wanna hear, we've all been there). However, if u are gonna try save things then you are gonna have to be aware the other guy is gonna say anything to get her, so you must be incredibly alert and sensitive to how you handle things. Try to reignite some of the early feelings you both had and see if you can make her see how she might be just grasping at him to replace the things that have faded with the two of you. Then you've got to add a bit more spark and look at yourself vey hard to see where you may have gone wrong... however don't sell your soul for her, if you move on you will get over it and will have learned a lot for next time, there is always a future, and it can always be better eventually. shit man, I rambled on, I might really be off the mark and you probably know most of what I said anyhow. Just my impression, take what u feel is relevant and forget the rest if need be. That is my oinion, I hope it is of some help! Goodluck geezer, always remember it ain't so bad being a rolling stone
Thanks a ton Mr Mojo. Some of this i was aware of even, but hearing it from someone else realy makes it click. I would literally fight for her if it ment losing everything else in my life. I too am afraid shes just caught in this little circle where inevitably it will end up the same with him as it was with me. I need to let her know so she can realize for HERSELF, that she can end up where we are.. with him. or she can push through and have a really good relationship. Any one else have any suggestions or insight? if its nearly as good as what Mojo left I'll appriciate it with ENDLESS gratitude.
Hey dude, was just wondering how you got on with all that painful relationship stuff... hope it all worked out the way you wanted.
